21 years old and hopeless????

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Well I am 21 and still a virgin. I am an average looking guy, in decent shape but for some reason I am just too strange and cannot hold conversations with women. They really do not understand me. How do other Aspies cope with this, and how do you talk to women?

well usualy i open up with something thats relevent like something in the news or a celebrity

like SOPA, ive used that like crazy as an ice breaker for alot of the women at the college i got to

me "hey you keep up with the news at all"
her "yes" or "no" but almost all the time its "not realy"
me "well have you heard anything about SOPA"
boom!! conversation

now i havnt gotin any dates out of it (mostly im just passing the time anyway)
so it might not be how you want to go about it, but i think its pretty good example of how to open up a conversation
with a women or just any new person in general

There's always hope,you shouldn't limit yourself yourself like that.I get depressed about it myself but moping won't change anything I suppose.BTW I'm a 28 yr old guy virgin myself so you're hardly alone.I think it helps to know that sometimes

Well first off who the hell cares if you haven't had sex yet......that's all losing virginity means, but really I don't see what the big deal about sex, having sex, or not having sex is. Besides unless you find someone who you can actually enjoy it with its a pointless activity anyways so I would say don't look down on yourself for being a virgin because there is nothing wrong with that.

That being said I am a female so I don't know how guys more easily talk to girls......and I don't relate to most females so I probably cannot give advice on how to make a good impression on most females. But I myself prefer if guys just talk to me about whatever they would talk to their friends/aquantinces about like their interests I am not much into guys trying to flirt with me as I am probably a bit slow to even 'get it' in the first place so I don't know depending on the type of girls your interested in would determine how to approach them.

just my thoughts on the topic.

It's a thing I've thought about recently - I'm eighteen years old, and I've never had a girlfriend. I have yet to meet a girl I really like. I look years younger than I am and I'm underweight, which means I'm not that interesting either. Additionally, I'm crazy and unpredictable well beyond the point where it stops being cute. It's not so much the idea that I'll never have sex - I could get sex if I looked for it, but that would leave me feeling rather uncomfortable and it would not solve the underlying issues. The main underlying thought is that I'll never be able to get a girlfriend which is, in itself, rather depressing, as that is what social norms - and my own instincts - dictate.

Another issue is that I'm afraid of being alone and exposed in the outside world. It's been a long time since I've been further than a few hundred metres from my house without company from friends or family. I can communicate with strangers perfectly well, and I'm safe-ish in traffic, but I feel it's always useful to have people around to protect me, should that be necessary - and, in that case, the more the merrier. Traveling in groups is my preferred method.

I have one comforting thought, though - most of my friends, many of them neurotypical, better-looking and slightly older than me, have never had girlfriends either. It's certainly not just you, and it's certainly not just me.

It will improve with age as long as you make the effort to keep talking to women.

I fully lost my virginity consensually at 24.

It's not uncommon, for males and females. And not just aspies.

Don't act like you are hard done to because a girl hasn't found you yet. There are plenty of people in this position, both male and female.
This applies to any age group. If you truly want it to happen, then you need to think less about forming a relationship and more on forming friends of the type of girls you find interest in, even if they show no interest. You have to make your brain know that establishing communication will bring a response rather than staying quiet and telling yourself you can not communicate to them.
People that have sight or hearing difficulties can do it, so can you.

I'm in a similar situation. I just can't make myself talk about stuff just to talk. If only I could be somewhere and see an attractive woman reading a magazine about Battlestar Galactica or something like that.

Remove the Battlestar Galactica for Video Games and I'm there. Though I'd ask them if they had a boyfriend or partner first?

There are more 21 year old virgins than you think. I suggest you take notes on how to be romantic without being "mushy" from those "chick flicks" that women like.

I walk up to them and ramble on about a special interest. Really. Usually most conversations start with "Hey you should do ____" or "How do you do _____?"

So far this strategy hasn't worked yet. Oh well.

CONFIDENCE! thats the most important thing i think.

if you arent confident, you will repel most girls.

if you ARE confident, you will attract girls.

This ^

Most people my age who are non-aspie probably don't admit that they're virgins.

I easily admit it. I don't know why.

I was 21 when I lost mine. You're not hopeless, just not ready.

Remember - a good hunter waits quietly for the quarry to come to him. A bad hunter chases after it and can never catch up.

21 is still young. I'll be 24 in two weeks and still in the same boat as you but I've only been through a small portion of my life. There'll plenty of chance for you.