How to deal when people wont respect your personal space?

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Darisey
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05 Oct 2012, 3:02 pm

My husband and I are both aspie/hfa and need our space and get angry if people don't leave us alone when we need it. My husband also needs a lot of attention and he has no sense of others' personal body space or understanding when I need to be alone so he ends up jumping on me (like a kid, not in a sexual way), tickling me, taking my socks off, screaming in my ears or just otherwise intentionally bothering me because any response from me (yelling, pushing) feeds his attention seeking behaviour. I can't ignore him because he is very rough and has no sense of how much strength or pressure he is using so for example, the tickling is more like digging or at least it feels that way because my skin is also hypersensitive.
We have no problems the rest of the time and both get over it quickly but I thought I would see if anybody had some advice for those times or even commiseration would be great lol



jenk154
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12 Oct 2012, 1:27 pm

That sounds like a difficult situation. When people disrespect my need for personal space, I try to calmly say that I need to be not touched right now, but I don't think that will help in your situation. Sorry. :/



League_Girl
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12 Oct 2012, 1:38 pm

Can't you tell him to leave you alone or to not touch you? I think autistic people need to be told every time when they cross the line with personal space.

I cannot imagine myself in that situation because I can see myself screaming and meting down and running away locking myself in a empty room like bathroom and then getting aggressive eventually by shoving him away possibly throwing things at him too. That is what I do when people push my buttons and don't listen to me.


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12 Oct 2012, 4:48 pm

Bite. Hard.


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Sarah81
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12 Oct 2012, 7:09 pm

Have you considered that he might be doing this because of a sensory need? If so he might need some other form of sensory stimulation such as lights, squeeze ball etc. I'm not an expert, but occupational therapists are good with this kind of thing.



dizzywater
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13 Oct 2012, 4:15 am

Lock yourself in the bathroom until he calms down.

He could put on loud music and dance around to it if he's feeling so hyper while you stay locked away.

Or you could talk through the door instead if he really needs your input, but it gives you back control of your own space.



Keyman
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24 Oct 2012, 9:57 pm

Tape thumbtacks with the sharp end outwards using skin friendly tape from a pharmacy and hide it under the clothes. Whoever feels like heavy tickling will get the hint soon. After all it's no problem if asked first ;)



meems
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30 Oct 2012, 2:45 am

I just pretend I have scabies. I guess that wouldn't work for you but it does wonders in some situations.


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