What can I buy my mother for Christmas? PLEASE HELP!

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GCarty
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08 Dec 2012, 2:22 pm

I dread any time when I'm meant to buy a present for my mother -- that would be Christmas, Mothers' Day or her birthday (in June)!

What do you buy someone who has no life because they're saddled with an autistic daughter (she's now 24, but has a mind little better than a six-year-old) and whose husband hasn't worked for twenty years (he was picky about jobs in the early '90s because he wanted to be available for my sister when she was a small child, and ended up making himself unemployable as a result). In the last few years things have went from bad to catastrophic -- first my mother lost the one real bolthole she had when her parents died (her father in August 2009, her mother in May 2011), and then my dad had a serious brain haemorrhage in January this year, which resulted in him no longer being able to drive, as well as barely even being able to read! My mother never even attempted to learn to drive as she's a nervous wreck in the car even as a passenger! (See threads here and here for more ramblings about my general predicament...)

Often I've just ended up buying her a CD or DVD, but she's often complained that she deserves more than this (and I wouldn't be inclined to argue with this -- I'd prefer to spend something on the order of £100), but I haven't got a clue what I'd buy her (and I couldn't just give her money as she'd no doubt throw it back in my face)! There's no point buying her nice clothes when she never gets the chance to go anywhere where they'd be worth wearing, and she probably wouldn't want ornaments as the house is already cluttered. And although I've sometimes bought kitchen appliances in the past, I don't like this either as I feel like I'm not really buying her anything!

Anyone here able to help me out, PLEASE???



Misslizard
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08 Dec 2012, 2:30 pm

Maybe something to relax her,does she like to soak in the tub?Maybe scented bath products,candles,chocolates,A very cosy robe,nice house shoes with memory foam insoles.
Maybe have a trained massuse come to the house and give her a massage.A trip to dinner to a favorite restaurant,expensive liquor if she drinks, pay to have someone clean the house for her,does she like to watch the birds?A nice bird feeder with a big bag of seeds.



kate123A
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08 Dec 2012, 4:11 pm

you could get her some gourmet food(chocolates/cheese/wine)
perfume and I like the previous suggestions too.



LookingLost
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08 Dec 2012, 4:39 pm

You could get her something really personal, like a framed photo of your family, a personalised calander or mug, or a basket full of her favourite foods, drinks, smelly things etc. Or maybe an ipod if she likes music, a collection of books she might like, or some rare/antique versions of books she has already read and loved. Also, you could buy her driving lessons and offer to be in the car with her to give support, or maybe offer to look out for your sister while both your parents go out and do something nice, which you could offer to pay for.

All the ideas above sound great too. :)

Hope this helps, good luck!

:cat:



redrobin62
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08 Dec 2012, 5:00 pm

I like the chocolate/cheese/wine idea. It would wine me over, anyway.



Tequila
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08 Dec 2012, 5:10 pm

Get on a perfume website (I like StrawberryNET) and get her some nice perfume (or EDT) with deodorant. Look up reviews before you buy. My mum likes Opium by Yves Saint Laurent, so I usually get her a big bloody bottle of that every year but this time I got her a big bottle of Paco Rabanne's Lady Million.



Esther
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08 Dec 2012, 6:00 pm

Are you able to give your mother a proper day off?

If not a professional to take care of your sister and dad for the day, maybe you can look after them while your mam gets pampered in town, a respite from everyday drudgery.

Could you take her in to town while she gets a massage or gets her hair and nails done? I think that would fall around £100.



thewhitrbbit
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08 Dec 2012, 7:09 pm

Esther wrote:
Are you able to give your mother a proper day off?

If not a professional to take care of your sister and dad for the day, maybe you can look after them while your mam gets pampered in town, a respite from everyday drudgery.

Could you take her in to town while she gets a massage or gets her hair and nails done? I think that would fall around £100.


This.

Plan a day for her that she can leave her caretaker role.

If your dad can look after her, do something with just you and her.

If not, see if you can hire a professional for the day, or maybe even for a couple days.

I don't know how National Health works in England, but in America caretakers can often get a respite care allowance where the person stays in a nursing home for a week or two while the family vacations or gets away from the situation.