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infilove
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02 Feb 2013, 10:24 pm

When it comes to trying to improve my social skills, I find it very helpful to indentify common topics NT's typically talk about that way I have topics readily available when go out. This however leads to a pretty interesting question. Do you find it hard to identify the common conversation topics NTs or a specific group of NTs talk about? I find it kind of hard sometimes and it's kind of surprisingly to me because I would think recalling something as simple as topics a group of people talk about to be easy but it's really not. Do you find that to be similar for you too?

I've so far guessed the reason is because how a typical conversation switches from one topic to another -NT's often will switch a conversation with fluid like grace kind of like a ballet dance which makes pinpointing specific topic actually harder than you would guess.


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ASDsmom
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02 Feb 2013, 10:37 pm

Well typically, people like talking about themselves most: their children, travels, dates and jobs. It's a "me-me" world out there.



gigstalksguy
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03 Feb 2013, 9:25 am

Football for guys is a common one, and popular TV shows, music, and films, but your right they switch quickly from one to another!

I've often found brainstorming before a social occasion helps, think about the people you're likely to see and what they're into, or any news you know about them (i.e. graduations, holidays, passing driving test etc) and note things things on paper (or in your phone) before going out. That way you can get some idea where the conversation might go, and be able to think about how you can best engage with it. :)


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03 Feb 2013, 6:59 pm

I actually think that simply copying the topics won't work.

Most of the time, I think the topics are not so relevant. The important part is that people listen and give attention to each other and thereby show their affection.

I share your observation: When I hear people talking, I often fail to extract the factual content. But that's because the exchange of information is not the objective.

So next time you hear a conversation, pay attention at the following aspects:
What kind of statements/questions do people use?
In what way does a certain comment contribute to the "flow" of the conversation?
How was the topic chosen? Is it something that all parties have knowledge/an opinion about?
Are there roles in the conversation (such as one person asking, another person responding)?
Do all participants enjoy the conversation do the same extent?