Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

Phenom
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: California

06 Feb 2013, 11:07 am

Hi WP,

I have thought for the longest time that I 'felt' emotions like everyone else, but Have recently come to the conclusion that I actually don't; What I mean by this is I don't 'physically' feel anything. Most of my 'emotions' are thought, like ideas. Just like with eye contact (I didn't find out about that until I was 17), I cant believe I have gone so long without realizing this. This also explains why I don't relate to people very well, because I literally don't feel what they feel (among other things).

Most of my emotions (I guess if that's what they are called) I have 'learned' to use. For instance, I know kinda when I should laugh, but I don't feel anything behind it, it's kind of an automatic response; Or even when I do laugh I just don't FEEL anything behind it, my face just go's through the reaction. Do people actually feel a physical sensation?

For the longest time I though I could experience happiness, or joy, but I have realized that it's really just adrenaline or something similar pumping through my body.

This realization has made me question alot. I have realized I don't actually 'feel' love for anyone or anything; I 'thought' I knew what it was, but I don't and am afraid I never will. When people pass who I should feel something about, I just don't, I can easily get over it (even my father's death); or when I move or sever a relationship, that's pretty much it for me, no feelings or nothing.

Again, I can think/analyze what emotions should be, but I just don't physically feel them; for the longest time I thought everyone was like this.

If anyone can explain a little bit of what should be happening when emotion are involved, I would like that. I hope I'm not duplicating anything, forgive me if I am.



Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,729
Location: USA

06 Feb 2013, 11:42 am

Phenom wrote:
Hi WP,

I have thought for the longest time that I 'felt' emotions like everyone else, but Have recently come to the conclusion that I actually don't; What I mean by this is I don't 'physically' feel anything. Most of my 'emotions' are thought, like ideas. Just like with eye contact (I didn't find out about that until I was 17), I cant believe I have gone so long without realizing this. This also explains why I don't relate to people very well, because I literally don't feel what they feel (among other things).

Most of my emotions (I guess if that's what they are called) I have 'learned' to use. For instance, I know kinda when I should laugh, but I don't feel anything behind it, it's kind of an automatic response; Or even when I do laugh I just don't FEEL anything behind it, my face just go's through the reaction. Do people actually feel a physical sensation?

For the longest time I though I could experience happiness, or joy, but I have realized that it's really just adrenaline or something similar pumping through my body.

This realization has made me question alot. I have realized I don't actually 'feel' love for anyone or anything; I 'thought' I knew what it was, but I don't and am afraid I never will. When people pass who I should feel something about, I just don't, I can easily get over it (even my father's death); or when I move or sever a relationship, that's pretty much it for me, no feelings or nothing.

Again, I can think/analyze what emotions should be, but I just don't physically feel them; for the longest time I thought everyone was like this.

If anyone can explain a little bit of what should be happening when emotion are involved, I would like that. I hope I'm not duplicating anything, forgive me if I am.


I think this means you are depressed, go seek medical attention as soon as possible. You sound like your emotions are depressed, not non-existant.


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html


littlelily613
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Feb 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,608
Location: Canada

06 Feb 2013, 12:09 pm

It does not have to mean you're depressed. Many people with autism also have alexithymia which makes it difficult or impossible to identify your own emotions as well as the emotions of others. On my diagnostic papers it says that the only emotion I can correctly identify is anger (and that's only when it is extreme). I don't feel much of anything else (or I do, and I just can't figure out what it is).


_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)


LookingLost
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2011
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 592
Location: UK

06 Feb 2013, 12:22 pm

I am like this too, except I seem to be able to identify what i've been told is anxiety, as that has physical symptoms (fast heart beat, shaking, sweating etc.) I also have depression, but I think it's more ASD than depression.



rickith
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 122
Location: The Netherlands

06 Feb 2013, 1:29 pm

Emotions can be difficult to identify properly at times, but I do think that I can experience some of them. Most are usually "in the moment" though, once the moment passes so do the emotions as far as I can tell.

Fear and stress are easy to detect 'cause they present themselves in noticable forms. They'll make me sleep less, nauseous, fidgety and give me that awful feeling when I wake up in the morning, blissfully unaware of the day to come untill I realize I have to do something I don't really want to do and then it sort of hits me.

I'm not sure if I can get really angry, but I can feel when I'm annoyed by something. It'll make me more prone to seek conflict with others and I'll get very short and direct when communicating with someone. I do experience road rage, like when people drive under the speed limit without an oppurtunity for me to pass them I can get really annoyed and have thoughts about running them off the road and such (not that I would though ;p).

I can sort of feel happiness, but it's always a fleeting thing. For example, if I sit down with my cat and pet her and such I'll feel happy, but once I'm done with that I'll go back to this neutral state of mind.

I can cry and feel upset when someone close to me dies or when I see it happen to someone with whom I can identify (i.e. a movie orso), but other than that I don't think I can really feel sad about other things.

I am not sure about love in the romantic sense, I've never really felt anything more than being attracted to someone, but I don't think that's really loving someone. I'm hoping that I just never really experienced it yet and that I will experience it, some day, some time.

What I can't really figure out is if I'm feeling happy or sad during a normal day. If I think about rationally it's probably sad/unhappy most of the time, but I don't really "feel" it.



noxnocturne
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,693
Location: Harassing Muggles

06 Feb 2013, 2:04 pm

Phenom wrote:
Hi WP,

I have thought for the longest time that I 'felt' emotions like everyone else, but Have recently come to the conclusion that I actually don't; What I mean by this is I don't 'physically' feel anything. Most of my 'emotions' are thought, like ideas. Just like with eye contact (I didn't find out about that until I was 17), I cant believe I have gone so long without realizing this. This also explains why I don't relate to people very well, because I literally don't feel what they feel (among other things).

Most of my emotions (I guess if that's what they are called) I have 'learned' to use. For instance, I know kinda when I should laugh, but I don't feel anything behind it, it's kind of an automatic response; Or even when I do laugh I just don't FEEL anything behind it, my face just go's through the reaction. Do people actually feel a physical sensation?

For the longest time I though I could experience happiness, or joy, but I have realized that it's really just adrenaline or something similar pumping through my body.

This realization has made me question alot. I have realized I don't actually 'feel' love for anyone or anything; I 'thought' I knew what it was, but I don't and am afraid I never will. When people pass who I should feel something about, I just don't, I can easily get over it (even my father's death); or when I move or sever a relationship, that's pretty much it for me, no feelings or nothing.

Again, I can think/analyze what emotions should be, but I just don't physically feel them; for the longest time I thought everyone was like this.

If anyone can explain a little bit of what should be happening when emotion are involved, I would like that. I hope I'm not duplicating anything, forgive me if I am.


You're in the same boat with a lot of people. :?



hickeyj
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
Location: Right behind you!

06 Feb 2013, 2:43 pm

Struggling to identify emotions is Alexithymia, but struggling to feel emotions (especially positive ones) could be depression. I was in a severe depression for about 2 years, and am still recovering, and I am starting to feel more emotional again. Due to an imbalance of glucose, norepinephrine and other chemicals I don't know, people with depression have a hard time getting a rise out of any emotions (since they aren't receiving the chemicals to produce them), emotions fade much quicker, and can experience drastic mood swings (get a quick flush of chemicals and not retain them for long). I don't know much of the psychiatric details beyond those, but I would seriously recommend seeing someone if there's a chance you are experiencing depression. Even it may take a little while to recover (I've heard average of about a year) it is absolutely temporary and worth getting checked out. Just my experience


_________________
Your Aspie score: 159 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 25 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


Marybird
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Apr 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,818

06 Feb 2013, 4:17 pm

I don't feel most emotions physically, it's more psychological. My problem is with expressing emotions. Putting on a display of emotion does not come naturally to me, and trying to fake it seems insincere.



Phenom
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: California

06 Feb 2013, 8:49 pm

First off, Awesome answers everyone, seriously; any input is highly valued by me.

I can see where people will automatically call what ever this is depression (seems like that's always the first choice), but although I do experience depression quite frequently, I have felt like this my WHOLE life; I just didn't realize it until recently. The only way I can describe it is like my eye contact example; I'm not sure if everyone has had this experience, but It was like the day I found out about how making eye contact is SO important to people (someone had to actually tell me). I had gone literally my ENTIRE life (up to 17) and had not know how important it was; nothing really changed (besides me becoming aware), but it was a profound revelation, an epiphany. I'm sure you (my fellow Aspies) have had similar experiences.

This has changed my whole life, amazing how something like this can happen. I understand now.

I do feel the physical manifestation of fear, anxiety, and especially anger, but because of my past, I have learned how to somewhat control them, kinda... But everything else, I just can't physically feel and it really bothers me, bad. I read about how NT, or other people besides me, explain these emotions and Physical 'feelings', and TBH, It sounds so beautiful. People describe how they get a tingly warm sensation that overcomes their body and I just don't get that feeling; the closet I get to that is rushes of adrenaline, which is NO substitute.

This has also made me think about my view of 'love', and how when people say they have "feelings" for someone it actually means physical feelings; I didn't know that, I have never loved anyone my entire life and I don't know if I ever will; I want to though. All of my Emotions/feelings are completely in the mind, just thoughts, nothing more. Since this discovery, I have gone through life trying to feel with my body instead of just thinking all the time, and I get nothing. When people make jokes now I try to feel the pleasure, but I don't get anything, therefore, I don't laugh; then its like I'm the bad one or something because I didn't laugh , but IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

As you can see, it goes MUCH deeper than just simple depression. Some people say that some feelings are similar to the feeling one gets to Oxycodone or heroine (obviously not to that extent, but you get the idea). In my daily life, I don't come anywhere close; unless of course I have taken oxycodone for pain or something like that, which is VERY seldom.

Also, it's not struggling to identify my emotions, they are just not there psychically to even try to identify; Difficult to explain to people who can feel.

I feel like I have to fake everything, then when some catches on or i'm off my game that day, I'm fake or something; but they don't realize this is the only way, they don't feel what I feel (or lack there of); Its a F***ed up situation.

I know this is kinda long, but necessary.

I ask again, would you please describe your emotion/feelings in detail? I would like both the psychological AND the physical parts. Thank you.



chamthabo
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2013
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 22

06 Feb 2013, 9:26 pm

the same problem as mine

I can know "logically" what mood people are in, and can even fake reaction well. But I when I do, I feel I'm worthless and has no real personality. The emotion I think I can actually feel is annoyance when someone stay with me for too long. I have been trying a lot to hide it since I was a child, but I finally realize that I should accept and try to solve it gradually. For now, I am trying to stay with someone like my mom doing simple activity with her without emotion faking and try to endure the annoyance. I hope this would make me have true feeling with people or at least someone I close to .

Sorry for my bad English.



Phenom
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: California

06 Feb 2013, 9:54 pm

chamthabo wrote:
the same problem as mine

I can know "logically" what mood people are in, and can even fake reaction well. But I when I do, I feel I'm worthless and has no real personality. The emotion I think I can actually feel is annoyance when someone stay with me for too long. I have been trying a lot to hide it since I was a child, but I finally realize that I should accept and try to solve it gradually. For now, I am trying to stay with someone like my mom doing simple activity with her without emotion faking and try to endure the annoyance. I hope this would make me have true feeling with people or at least someone I close to .

Sorry for my bad English.

I understood you well.

I usually don't like when people say "well I'm glad I'm not alone", because I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but this confirms for me that its not all in my head.

I almost wish I had not discovered this because at least I THOUGHT I was happy; but at the same time, now I know a lot more about myself, which is what life is all about. I now know that I don't actually 'love' anyone (I had a feeling [<<can I even use that word now?] before though), I was always actually very uncomfortable saying it for some reason. The problem is, how do you tell someone you don't love them, Not because you aren't trying, but because you cant? What is going to be the reaction? How do you deal with that reaction? Do you just continue throwing that word around (as well as other emotions), because that's exactly what it is to me, a word? There are many new problems that have entered my life now. At least before I was throwing it around without really knowing, so I guess it wasn't that bad, but now, I know what I'm doing which makes it much worse.

The only good thing that has come out of this that I didn't really realize until now is that my ability to 'sense' is off the charts. I understand now that this is so because I cant 'Feel', so I guess this is how I make up for it; which is VERY useful. Some might say, "well how can you sense if you can't feel?, IDK, but its just different; I cannot explain that. It's some kind of mix between Massive mental calculation mixed with anticipation, but that doesn't come close to what it actually is. Even though I LOVE this ability, it can't make you 'feel' good, just helps with situations ALOT.



Drone
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 3 Dec 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 88

07 Feb 2013, 11:20 am

I feel emotion, but I don't show it all the time. Like when I find something funny, but don't laugh. I don't know about the not having eye contact thing, never been much of a problem for me. What has been a problem sometimes is smiling. I'll occasionally think I'm smiling when I'm not. I'm also pretty sure that my fake smile is not actually a smile, but something else. I don't know if this is the same thing as what the topic is about. I do get tingly when frustrated.



emimeni
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2012
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,065
Location: In my bed, on my laptop

07 Feb 2013, 7:28 pm

Drone wrote:
I feel emotion, but I don't show it all the time.


To some extent, I'm the same way. My friend told me that you have to take time to read my face, but if you do, my face is pretty expressive.


_________________
Living with one neurodevelopmental disability which has earned me a few diagnosis'