Ugh, my life is so terrible

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I don't really have the energy or motivation for my special interests anymore. I feel on-edge all day, every day. I'm really lonely. I have awful, crippling social anxiety that makes it so hard for me to even get through the school day. I put so much effort into thinking about engaging with my classmates and making friends, but I don't ever accomplish anything because of my anxiety. I always get to bed late and/or can't fall asleep and am exhausted the next day.

I always feel on-edge because I'm always worrying about the next day... I'll go to school, have anxiety, feel lonely, get homework, have a hard time doing the homework, have responsibilities, feel bad etc. My special interests aren't bringing me joy, and I really feel too tired and worn-out to partake in them

It hasn't been getting better. I don't think it ever will.

It does get better although I've been there. I've said in those moments, " Ugh this won't get any better. Whats the point?" But the truth is you don't know the endgame and so who knows maybe things will turn around or maybe you'll be right and they won't. 50/50 chance of either case, but don't bother with assumptions based on your feelings, especially when it comes to the future. LoL certainly didn't help me out too much! I made so many assumptions based on my negativity that I didn't bother to try and improve myself for the longest time.

Perhaps a change in your routine is in order? You sound like you personally want some change although that is taking a risk which would probably cause anxiety. Yet if you do nothing you will feel like you aren't getting anywhere and get depressed. Hmmmm maybe I am not the best expert on dealing with this... regardless man take comfort in this, NOTHING stays the same forever. Eventually change will happen, at least that is what I keep telling myself.

According to my eval I just got.. and expressed this very thing... her conclusion is that I have a major depressive disorder and that how can you enjoy anything when depressed... after reading her report I think she doesn't understand aspie's near as much as she thinks.

Yes, while we can get depressed... Never before have I lost interest in my special interest.. that is new and according to her I have been depressed since i was 13... (that is about 25 years ago)

So while my reply isn't all that helpful to you.. please know you are not alone and I hope things get better for you soon.

Get rest and forget about tomorrow deal with today with all you have. Tomorrows headaches will be here soon enough. Breath in breath out say I dont care from time to time, let it out scream in to a pillow. Best advice in the world if you can do it.

I honestly can't say I feel very depressed. I've been very depressed before, and I'm out of that now. I feel cruddy, exhausted, and frustrated, but not really depressed. PRobably the biggest contributing factor is that I really want to make some friends, but I have freaking horrible social anxiety, and no one cares enough about me to talk to me (not that they have any reason to care). I have to do all the talking. No one's ever mean to me, at least.

Wow, that sounds a lot like my life. I ended up staying home from school today because I had a panic attack as I was leaving my house and heading to my bus stop. I was feeling isolated even when I was with my friends. Mostly because the people in my life who made me feel like I belonged aren't at my school any more. Just need to find a person who can help you feel better about yourself and make you want to keep going. At the very least, they can help you feel calm and like you belong. Also, sometimes you just gotta let them come to you rather than you going to them. That's actually how I met most of my friends.

Sometimes depression can feel more like exhaustion and overwhelming feelings. I'm there right now. I hav very little energy to do anything that I love, and what energy I do hav is wasted on a job that breaks me down emotionally. I felt similar when I was in school. Kids broke me down and then I had little left for things that I enjoyed and that built me up. But I had to keep going to school. Just like I have to keep going to work.

Maybe you have a burnout from the effort to try to fit in. It's similar to depression, though not exactly the same thing.