Which of these 4 is your attitude towards people?

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Tyri0n
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27 Mar 2013, 9:20 pm

Quote:

1. You desperately want relationships and friendships and are lonely that you don't have them / have enough of them.

2. You don't really want them, but you think you are supposed to.

3. You sort of want them, but building relationships is exhausting, frustrating, and takes too much work for you, so it's not worth going through the flames for a meager result.

4. You like the idea in theory, but finding actual human beings who are suitable (around whom you feel comfortable, who aren't boring, exhausting, etc.) is daunting or impossible.

I realized I don't know whether I'm 1, 2, 3, or 4. I definitely have some of 4, but I don't know which of the other 3 describes me. I honestly don't...

Is it possible for someone to be 2, 3, and 4?

idlewild
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27 Mar 2013, 10:26 pm

It varies, but I generally feel like 3, then 1, then 2/4 on occasion.

I would love to be married, for instance, but dating is so exhausting and heartbreaking I just can't seem to do it anymore.

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Radiofixr
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27 Mar 2013, 10:31 pm

I feel like a 1 and have been hurt over the years-I hate being made to feel like failure is all my fault

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Stargazer43
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27 Mar 2013, 10:33 pm

None of the above?

TheTigress
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27 Mar 2013, 10:36 pm

3 with a dash of 4.

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bumble
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27 Mar 2013, 10:57 pm

All 4 depending on the relationship type involved and at different times in my life. It varies.

eric76
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27 Mar 2013, 11:01 pm

When I was younger, it was usually 2 but occasionally 1.

These days it is a pretty solid 4.

bumble
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27 Mar 2013, 11:01 pm

Radiofixr wrote:

I feel like a 1 and have been hurt over the years-I hate being made to feel like failure is all my fault

Have you considered that it is not all your fault and that sometimes in life some people really are just judgmental ignorant sh*theads?

Some are misguided and some are friendly and accepting...you just need to find someone you like from the latter group.

Don't think of everything in terms of success and failure...

Last edited by bumble on 27 Mar 2013, 11:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kateh42
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27 Mar 2013, 11:02 pm

4, but probably aided by 3.

briankelley
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27 Mar 2013, 11:21 pm

Yeah, none of those fit the bill for me at all. I think that 4 needs to be stretched out to a 10.

I'd say I enjoy companionship but I also enjoy solitude. I pretty much leave it up to providence as far as relationships go.

That being said, I don't quite get the deep need people have when it comes to relationships and how deeply it effects them, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I remember when I was in the beginnings of adolescence and hearing all these romance songs on the radio with, "If you leave me baby it'll rip my heart out and destroy me please oh please don't leave", type lyrics and thinking "I don't want to have to go though that!". Fortunately so far I never have and I doubt I ever will. There's just no way I could ever be that deeply connected to someone.

Last edited by briankelley on 27 Mar 2013, 11:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

auntblabby
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27 Mar 2013, 11:22 pm

all of 'em. :hmph: until recently.

lshoe26
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27 Mar 2013, 11:32 pm

#1 for me it has been so hard for me to build relationships and to keep them...
Very frusttrateing.

scarp
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28 Mar 2013, 12:00 am

Option four is pretty spot on in describing my feeling toward people. I've had good friends in the past, so I know that the basic idea of friendship can be worthwhile. However, all of the friendships I've ever had started with the other person reaching out to me, and all of them ultimately faded over time. I just have no interest or motivation to build and maintain these relationships myself; I just sort of "let them happen," and by the same token I let them naturally dissolve once they've run their course. So I guess you could say I'm passive in my interpersonal affairs.

IdahoRose
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28 Mar 2013, 12:24 am

I've been through all 4 types at different stages throughout my life: I was a 1 when I was a child through my early teens, then a 2 as an older teen, and finally a combination of 3 and 4 as an adult.

Anna94980506
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28 Mar 2013, 12:39 am

3 and 4

Moomingirl
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28 Mar 2013, 3:23 am

Pretty much 3

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