How to be vehemently supportive of your ex-girlfriend?

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I learned last night that my ex-girlfriend has a new boyfriend. She told me this via text message while I ate dinner at Subway. I am incredibly happy for her that she found someone to love. She deserves someone that makes her feel complete in every sense and I couldn't fulfill that. However, I feel a great sense of repugnance internally that I cannot shake.

We dated for 11 months beginning in November 2011. I think our relationship developed too rapidly because once the blossoming stage ended, the relationship stagnated, eventually withered and died; for much of that I blame myself. I simply didn't communicate in ways that a boyfriend should. She felt that she couldn't talk to me in many instances. This led to our breakup in October 2012.

Since I've moved and further reflected on our relationship, I've realized how foolish I was, how most of our problems were my fault, and why she ceased loving me. Upon reflection, I feel agitated with myself that I did not foresee her frustrations earlier, leading to the ending of our relationship.

In the course of 9 months since then, I've moved to another city and found a new job. However, my heart still belongs to her knowing it will never be received in kind. She will never love me again and I understand that. However, I simply cannot love another human being when I still love her. I love her unconditionally in ways that I simply cannot have another girlfriend regardless of how they feel about me because I feel I would be replacing Grace. Therefore, I have resigned knowing that I will die alone because my feelings for Grace will neither wither nor wane. Grace doesn't know this. I will never tell her that either because I want her to be happy, I want her to love someone, I don't want to do anything that will imflame her current relationship, and I also don't want to risk ruining our friendship.

I feel a great sense of disdain and sadness upon learning of her new boyfriend. I feel happy for her and told her as much - congratulations and blessings. However, I feigned the dagger led through my heart because the mere thought that someone else is hers is difficult to accept. I shouldn't feel this way. I had my chance and I blew it. I want to be vehemently supportive of her in all aspects. I want to be truly happy that he makes her happy in ways I couldn't but I can't.

I don't know who the guy is. I asked her how she met him and where he's from but she ignored those inquiries. Although my goal was to make her happy by talking about him, I think she protected herself by not answering.

Comments are appreciated. Thanks for reading.

Every time I've tried to retain or reinstate contact with an ex it has ended in tears, more often than not for both of us.
Even when I try to explain why my relationships were difficult, and come out as an Aspie, it just makes things worse.
I only have contact with my ex wife now, and only because we have a daughter together.

I'd say the most supportive and loving thing you can do for an ex is leave them in peace, lest you stir up emotions and unresolved issues.
There is really no way to have an ongoing relationship with an ex girlfriend as a friend without emotions and complications making things worse in the long run than losing contact.
You sentence her and yourself to play a game of dancing around each other and having a sense of jealousy and distrust when one or both of you finds a new partner.

The only time it's okay to help out an ex is if they ask for it, and if it's a one off assist, rather than being drawn back into the relationship you both left for good reason.
Show your ex the love you have for her by leaving her be; it hurts and it's difficult, but it's better than stirring things up - even unintentionally, and in the long run, it's the only thing that works.