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Droopy
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02 Feb 2007, 12:59 am

I recently started a new job and just finished traing and have now taken my seat next to someone who is bipolar, of all things. I don't have a choice where I sit either. I don't know if I'm venting, asking for advice or what, but I really am having a terrible time with this guy. Maybe this belongs on the Haven but I don't know.

Are there any Aspies here who know how to deal with someone who's bipolar and clearly miserable all the time? I don't know if I should just tell him I have AS or what. I've never told anyone but my family I have AS but to tell someone I work with, to me, is risky. One time though, he asked if he looked like he was about to cry..hell I don't know. It's a face, that's all I see.

He's so up and down and it makes me just want to hide but I'm at work, so of course I can't. There's so much I hate about that job I just want to quit but I can't until I find something different. Until then, I don't know if I can handle this guy. I'm really introverted and shy and he's so "out there", in every way. I probably sound whiny but really I'm almost starting to feel scared of him and panicky.

Can anyone help me here? Tell me how to see this or settle it in my mind because I don't know what to do.



Droopy
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02 Feb 2007, 1:00 am

I think too I might post this on a bipolar forum. I don't know where but I could see what they have to say.



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02 Feb 2007, 2:28 am

Ask your supervisor if you can be moved away from the bipolar person. Whatever you do don't tell this guy you have AS. I sat next to someone who was bi-polar, OCD and had multiple personality disorders and she tried to claim she was autistic after I told her I was. She was all the time saying she was going to kill herself and when I didn't respond in the way she thought I should (I just ignored her) she reported me to my supe for being negative and that she was really "worried" about me. Like I was the one saying wacko stuff when it was her who was doing the crazy talk. She reported me several times and had me written up after I blantantly said "no you are not autistic" because she claimed Bi-polar and OCD are both forms of autism.

I don't know what your work environment is and if you can do this but I would just listen to my mp3 player and tune her out. Like any person with the kind of problems she had she eventually quit the job and that was the end of that. Don't let the guy run you away from your job, wait and let him leave!



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02 Feb 2007, 12:09 pm

yeah i was gonna say not to tell a bipolar person about your AS... they could go into a rage over anything really and just blab from the mountain tops...

my first bf had bipolar... it was really hard... and sadly, most often he was just inconsolable. but he did have music for an outlet. i think that's really what saves him.

maybe find out if this person does anything? (i'm not really clear on how much social interaction there is in your situation)


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03 Feb 2007, 12:09 am

Bi-polar is tricky because it is a lot less predictable than an ASD. I know a couple of people online who are both bi-polar and have AS, which would make for an interesting combination. Just don't try and predict what the other person will try to do because the likelihood is that you will be wrong about your prediction.


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Droopy
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14 Feb 2007, 12:43 am

Sorry to pull this all the way back to the top but I won't be able to post here after this week for a long time and while I still can I wanted to thank you Ticker and Namiko for replying and for the advice.

It's going a little better with this guy now but still room for improvement. I think because we're both so different, we don't know how to take each other. Now that we're getting to know each other a little better though, it's helping the situation. He hasn't had any bad moods lately either though so time will tell. Ticker, I've decided based on what you said not to tell him anything about me, thank you so much for sharing your story.



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14 Feb 2007, 1:22 pm

Droopy, don't tell the bipolar guy about your AS. You really have no clue how they are going to react. (I'm bipolar by the way) If they are on meds it is a completely different thing from if they aren't.

The best thing to do.... take a survey of your office environment. See if there is anything about the physical environment that you can complain about so you won't have to mention the person you are trying to avoid. That item could be a plant that you may be 'allergic' to, or the glare from the window on your computer, or the vent from the air-conditioner/heater. Then find a spot where would be a bit more isolated and does not have that item you are going to complain about.

When you complain to your supervisor about that item offer up the solution of moving to that new location that you've identified. You'll be presenting the problem but also be presenting a solution and most supervisors appreciate that. If the sup refuses to let you move... send an e-mail to them about it in a couple days. Say that it's affecting your productivity. Then if nothing happens after that- contact human resources.

By complaining about something specific in your environment, they won't accuse you of not being a 'team player'.
Good luck!



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14 Feb 2007, 3:23 pm

Droopy wrote:
I recently started a new job and just finished traing and have now taken my seat next to someone who is bipolar, of all things. I don't have a choice where I sit either. I don't know if I'm venting, asking for advice or what, but I really am having a terrible time with this guy. Maybe this belongs on the Haven but I don't know.

Are there any Aspies here who know how to deal with someone who's bipolar and clearly miserable all the time? I don't know if I should just tell him I have AS or what. I've never told anyone but my family I have AS but to tell someone I work with, to me, is risky. One time though, he asked if he looked like he was about to cry..hell I don't know. It's a face, that's all I see.

He's so up and down and it makes me just want to hide but I'm at work, so of course I can't. There's so much I hate about that job I just want to quit but I can't until I find something different. Until then, I don't know if I can handle this guy. I'm really introverted and shy and he's so "out there", in every way. I probably sound whiny but really I'm almost starting to feel scared of him and panicky.

Can anyone help me here? Tell me how to see this or settle it in my mind because I don't know what to do.


Why are you so bothered by his ups and downs? Does he constantly make you feel like YOU are the problem? I don't see any reason why working next to someone like that would necessarily be a difficulty. Just try not to let his excitement or depression color your own perception of how the day is going, which if anything should be easier with AS than without (due to your emotional connection "apparatus" being turned down).

It's up to you if you tell him you have AS. My fear about doing that, if I were in your situation, would not be what he would think, but that word would get around and everyone in your company would know about your AS. Depending on what your superiors' attitude is toward mental differences of this type, this could change the way you are treated for the worse (or to the contrary, if they are among those people who have a balanced, thorough understanding of AS, it could make things better, though that seems less likely unless the field you work in has a lot of people with AS/HFA).

I am not diagnosed bipolar, but I have had mood swings occasionally. During the ups, I'm sure nobody minds, but during the downs I sometimes have felt (possibly wrongly) that I bother other people by getting too upset at little things they did.



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14 Feb 2007, 4:46 pm

Just ask your boss to move you. Tell him/her you're sick of sitting next to some guy with mental problems and it's affecting your work performance.