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einsteinmyhero
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17 Mar 2014, 7:50 am

I have aspergers. it's not hard for me, but it might be for you.here's a place to share the hardships.



Wind
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17 Mar 2014, 7:53 am

Depends what you mean by hard. Socially? Mentally? Physically?


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einsteinmyhero
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17 Mar 2014, 7:54 am

all of the above.



ouroborosUK
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17 Mar 2014, 8:17 am

Having asperger in itself is not hard, it is just the way I am.

What is hard is operating in a society designed for other people (and, I would say, quite badly designed ever for them), and the mental health issues (mostly anxiety for me) that ensue.


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DukeJanTheGrey
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17 Mar 2014, 8:32 am

Quite hard socially early in life until the late teens but good music, beer and lets say other substances does bring people together at that age. Before that i dealt with life at school, all the bullying and stuff by simply not going, thus sacrificing my education. Mentally all i had to deal with bad depression but that depression was normal for me so looking back it was not that bad mentally. Physically? Well i was always to drunk too feel the pain when i self harmed. As i matured and entered my early 20's things got very much easier for me. I was a bit strange yes but i held down a job, had friends, could make friends, i could go to a pub and drink on my own.

You see that's the aspergergs i remember from my youth. Something happened, in my life in 2005. An event or string of events that were bizarre, almost surreal yet absolutely devastating happened to me and i had no way to cope. I lost my job, my friends, i attempted suicide and i received a suspended prison sentence. All while i was screaming out for help from the authorities. But i got no help from them, they were even openly mocking, me they were literally getting enjoyment from kicking me while i was down,

Now that was 9-7 years ago and since i have been in a real mess, i have not been able to look after myself, i barley go out on my own. Now i cant tell you what traits come from my aspergers and what come from what to me is undiagnosed PTSD. It is what happens to you during life that makes it hard, not what you have diagnosed or what your labelled as. If i had won the lottery that day in 2005 instead of what did happen would my life be as hard as it is now just because i have aspergers? It just makes life for us different. My little sister has aspergers, and because of it she gets a pass where she does not have to queue for the rides at Alton Towers so its not all bad, What you loose on the swings you find on the roundabouts.



zer0netgain
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17 Mar 2014, 8:52 am

ouroborosUK wrote:
Having asperger in itself is not hard, it is just the way I am.

What is hard is operating in a society designed for other people (and, I would say, quite badly designed ever for them), and the mental health issues (mostly anxiety for me) that ensue.


This.

My biggest problem is a society that won't accept me the way I am but rather constantly finds fault to exclude me no matter how hard I try to belong.



ZenDen
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17 Mar 2014, 11:54 am

Sorry you feel that way but WE love you. :D

Before finding WP I didn't know what was wrong with me, why people didn't like me, why I didn't have friends etcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetcetc and now I don't feel so all alone.

I hope you feel this way too. At least a little.

We all hit hard spots.....they will pass.

denny



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17 Mar 2014, 1:04 pm

I don't think it's hard for me either. It was when I was a kid because of intolerance and not being understood and because I was in school. Also the fact kids change when you hit puberty and then it gets really hard because then you have a harder time relating and having friends. It's hard for everyone of course.


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GiantHockeyFan
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17 Mar 2014, 3:52 pm

It certainly isn't hard like it was in Junior High where I feared for my life daily, but it is tough being well liked but having no idea how to make friends, how to find a job (thank God I have a highly stable one now!) or how to attract women or identify if they are interested. I thought I was crazy and could not figure out why I seemed to be the only one who was friendless until I joined the WP community and found others who had similar difficulties.



Eccles_the_Mighty
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17 Mar 2014, 4:00 pm

Having Aspergers is like steering a sailboat. Sometimes it's all hands on deck whilst you deal with a crisis but sometimes I can lean back in the sunshine with a Pepsi in one hand and steer with my big toe.


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Joe90
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17 Mar 2014, 4:31 pm

My experience:-

Social anxiety makes socialising hard for me. I am too quiet, and when I do speak up in a group my voice sometimes gets tuned out for some reason and so I end up not getting heard and I feel like I'm talking to myself. Also there are lots of other little factors too that cause anxiety with socialising. I do enjoy socialising when I am around people that are more tolerant and/or easier to get on with. But I still don't say too much. I'm not the chatty type anyway. I'm more of a listener.

I won't list the rest because otherwise this post would probably end up going on and on forever. But anxiety, depression and isolation do make life hard to live for me, and all three seem to be linked around socialising. It's like to me socialising is as important to me as it is for the majority of NTs, which is why it causes anxiety, depression and isolation, if that makes sense. It sound a bit ironic, but it's true.


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MathGirl
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17 Mar 2014, 5:11 pm

For me, trying to avoid getting sucked into my fixations is like circling around a vortex but remembering to not fall into it. I am interested in what I'm studying, but I wouldn't necessarily cover all of the topics that we are being taught in the same order that we are taught had I done it all on my own. I am very committed to exploiting my academic strengths and building upon them, but my reading comprehension is painfully slow, so I have to do schoolwork for pretty much the entirety of my time in order to succeed, i.e. perform at my true capacity. It's feasible but very difficult.

As for other things, I feel that they only become problems when I perceive them to be so. Both sensory and social "challenges" can be reframed as strengths. Anyhow, when they start interfering with whatever I need to do, the problem is usually in my environment and not in me. I feel like I am already maximally adjusted in these domains, as I've learned way too many coping skills already and try my best to apply them whenever I can. The rest is not really up to me.


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LupaLuna
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18 Mar 2014, 1:36 am

People and social situations are the absolute worst for me. Other then that. Everything else is great.