I feel like giving up...

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I dont expect anyone to care but i need somewhere to vent to here goes...

im so sick of giving my all to things in my life, to spend everything i have to make others and trying to make me happy. these last few days i have felt somthing inside me snap (no this isnt a Hernia) and i have felt this deep lethargy and sense of meaninglessness, nothing i do or turn to seems to get me out of it.

i am used to having a similar feeling, although not as bad periodically, but this has somthing else to it and its like somthing i have been bottling up has finally broken its container. the people i thought i could turn to just think im selfish, self-centred and narcissistic because i feel like i do and they think i dont care about other people but i do, its just i cant get out of this dark hole.

im sick of everyone my age range (16 - 35) ignoring me, of being ignored by the opposite sex, of everything i work at turning to sand in my hands, of having a life where the things of this life that make it mean somthing are absent .

i give up... heh, forget reading this post, its not like anyone cares about a self-centred jerk like me anyway

There's nothing self centered in caring for yourself, Stop trying to make others happy and do whatever makes you happy. If your job sucks, start looking for another one, if your friends are pissing all over you, drop them, because they certainly aren't real friends, If you have too many responsibilities, take some time away from them, taking time off never hurt anyone. But most of all, remember, there are people out there who are willing to share your burdens, you just need to find them.
Best of luck,
T

It's not self-centred to care for yourself. It's vital, especially when you're feeling down.
The feeling that the container bursts, it could be a positive thing. Sometimes we bottle up how we feel and it doesn't do us any good. If you feel depressed and it's not shifting, a course of anti-depressants might help.
Anyway, vent, post, talk, it helps a lot. People here are very understanding.

I know exactly how you feel. I have started feeling better since I started my 'F the humans' campaign. While I am a Christian I have realized that I will never fit in with the humans. Since I have stopped trying and just kept my mouth shut as much as possible I have actually started fitting in. The humans like people who are quiet and listen to their blather.

I have also embraced my AS. This has taken the pressure off of me to think and act like a human. I hope this helps.

I wonder if you could try to imagine the container. Is it an egg shell or a cocoon? a genie's bottle? It might give you a better look at what's happening.

Does it help at all that you're not the only one feeling this way?

I have an essentially wasted career, because no-one will hire me any more because I'm physically disabled and in near-constant pain. I have lost many of my pleasures like running and rock climbing for the same reason. My life has been a series of bad relationships that just seem to get worse the longer they last. And yeah, I'm still wondering what the point of all this is. (But I remain convinced it can get better.)

So you're not the only one who feels that way.

I think it helps alot to have a purpose in life. Something, I think, most people don't care much about. Their lives just sort of pass while they react to things, in the worst case scenario. Problem appears when you project your own search for happiness on that of those that mostly react. Everyone's in panic about their lives, not only aspies. Still, it is wrong to adopt other people's anxieties and make them your own.

Perhaps advancement, upgrading, buying new stuff, settling down, make babies etc. just isn't you. Try to find the things meaningful for you.

To illustrate: My purpose is to move back to the area where I was born. I'm not interested in "starting a life" somewhere with someone I don't know yet. I have visions for some of my weird projects. I also want to be there for people who depend on me. It's not too bad having to accomodate others sometimes once you realise you are a functional part of their lives and directly affect their happiness.

Anyway, I find it easier to focus on my duties now when I can see I'm going somewhere and making something rather than just regress, sustain and cling to stuff that will have to change eventually.

i thank you all for replying to this topic, im surprised at the support actually... its somthing im not used to, especially from the outside world, its nice to know i got people here who have got my back

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I just did a phycology test, im actually 38% less narcissistic than the national average..... raises question, who is right? the test or those i turned to?