My thoughts on why you don't have a girlfriend.

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Coolguy
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30 Jul 2014, 11:38 am

Here's how it was explained to me:

You have to have a good relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with other men.

You have to have a relationship with other men before you can have a relationship with a woman.

Makes sense to me.



sapere_aude
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30 Jul 2014, 12:33 pm

It's a nice little soundbite that fits the situation, but it's always going to be a lot more complicated than that. It does make sense, and it might even be good advice for someone newly-diagnosed, but if there is one main reason why someone with ASD is single it's unlikely to be that.
Don't take this as a criticism, but the thread title comes across as a little antagonistic, I was half-expecting a rant from someone pissed off.



KillerPenguin
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30 Jul 2014, 12:47 pm

sapere_aude wrote:
It's a nice little soundbite that fits the situation, but it's always going to be a lot more complicated than that. It does make sense, and it might even be good advice for someone newly-diagnosed, but if there is one main reason why someone with ASD is single it's unlikely to be that.
Don't take this as a criticism, but the thread title comes across as a little antagonistic, I was half-expecting a rant from someone pissed off.


Agreed. There is definitely a lot more to attracting a partner than liking yourself and the ability to have platonic relationships. Not that those aren't important qualities--they are. But trying to snag a girl or boyfriend is sort of like applying for a job, you need more than just the bare minimum. I'm afraid if I go on, I'll sound mean, so I'll stop.



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30 Jul 2014, 1:04 pm

You won't sound mean, there's no shortage of guys on here looking for a woman's perspective on what they're doing wrong or what they might have missed. It might take some careful language if you're worried about causing offence, but any extra help or information is always appreciated.



tarantella64
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30 Jul 2014, 4:04 pm

Looking and sounding (and being) desperate or unhappy with yourself wont' help, that's true. But a lot of it has to do with presence, advertising, and what's going on with those particular women.

Analogy: I developed and taught an unusual course last year, and it was small, but the kids loved it and it's helped them get jobs and prestigious internships, and the feedback was great. I really had no time/energy to run around last spring promoting the course, it's not a required course, and it died, won't be offered in fall. How do I get the department to offer it again, and get students? I have to be visible in the right places at the right time and advertise it the right way. So I can go sell it to faculty who advise or employ students, and say the words that will get them excited about how the course went, and they in turn can urge their students to sign up. That takes effort, a lot of effort. It's carefully composing emails, soliciting comments from former students, timing the emails so they hit faculty when they're paying attention, going around and sitting in offices and talking it up.

And it still might not work. The faculty may all be at war with each other and uninterested in dealing with my course. There may be some emergency the dept leadership is dealing with. Who knows. You can't control these things. All it means is "try again".



Tim_Tex
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30 Jul 2014, 4:07 pm

The issue with me is that virtually no women in my area have the same interests as me (mostly because they think my interests are evil--after all, it *is* Texas)


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yournamehere
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30 Jul 2014, 5:28 pm

Coolguy wrote:
Here's how it was explained to me:

You have to have a good relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with other men.

You have to have a relationship with other men before you can have a relationship with a woman.

Makes sense to me.


What???? Did I read that right? If you want a girl, and believe that, then some homosexual is really screwing with your head?



kraftiekortie
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30 Jul 2014, 5:37 pm

I don't think he meant a SEXUAL relationship with men--just a regular friendship.

I wish Penguin wasn't taken LOL.....she's quite attractive :wink:



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 30 Jul 2014, 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

yournamehere
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30 Jul 2014, 5:59 pm

Ooh.



LostWayfinder
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30 Jul 2014, 6:02 pm

My relationship status with myself: excellent. :o



wowiexist
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31 Jul 2014, 1:05 am

How can you be sure Penguin is taken?



AspergianMutantt
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31 Jul 2014, 1:20 am

One of the biggest problems in my area is that according to surveys taken I am in one of those states that there a many many more men to women, so the women gets to get away with being more picky and there are vary few single women around.


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hale_bopp
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31 Jul 2014, 2:53 am

I think this is pretty good advice.



yournamehere
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31 Jul 2014, 6:57 am

I just say no alot. WAITING?????



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31 Jul 2014, 7:13 am

Coolguy wrote:
Here's how it was explained to me:

You have to have a good relationship with yourself before you can have a relationship with other men.

You have to have a relationship with other men before you can have a relationship with a woman.

Makes sense to me.


Then would you explain it? WHY is this so?


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