I can't express myself through words or writing

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Meril
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04 Aug 2014, 6:11 pm

So people usually say something along the lines of "I write horribly but talking is easy" or vise versa. But I am awful at talking to people (I've been teased about it by people from non English speaking countries asking if English was my second language too) ( nicely) and I have trouble writing as well. So basically dammed if I try to write dammed if I try to talk. I have an extensive vocabulary and reading comes easily to me but writing is hard. If I get something on paper it seems well written but it can take a long time to get there. My handwriting with pain and effort looks like a preschoolers ( I'm a teen) and my handwriting with more pain and effort is sill bad but ledgible. I am especially bad geting out thoughts when handwriting but it is still hard to type. I am also really bad at talking. I always forget what I'm about to say or the one word I need. I end up rambling on and on and my point still isn't clear.



kraftiekortie
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04 Aug 2014, 6:17 pm

You seem all right to me, Meril.

Perhaps you should practice your writing with us, on Wrong (Warm) Planet.



Meril
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04 Aug 2014, 7:13 pm

It's not the final product that's the issue, it's how hard it is to get there. I also can take a long time writing. Also sometimes my thoughts are more complex than I can write. Writing about the struggles of writing is more simple than say, about the meaning of life. I am also really scared because my school wants to put me in honors English next year. I guess what I am trying to say is that my thoughts are usually more complex than my ability to articulate. Also, both in talking and writing ( my english teachers probably love this) I use more words than necessary to express myself. This further becomes a problem when my crappy fine motor skills can't keep up.



kraftiekortie
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04 Aug 2014, 7:15 pm

You seem pretty young, perhaps 15 or so? I would say you're in a pretty good place now, better than you think.

Eventually, your writing will catch up to your thoughts, with practice. Diligence always produces excellent product.



MathGirl
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04 Aug 2014, 7:46 pm

Do you find typing easier? I used a laptop in high school and college, it was tremendously helpful.


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Marybird
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04 Aug 2014, 8:01 pm

I am also not good at expressing myself through words and writing.
But I am not sure it is for quite the same reasons.

Sometimes I have a concept I am trying to write about but can't figure out how to say it, so I do internet searches to see how someone else would say it.
If I am replying to a post on WP I often borrow from the other posters how to express what I am trying to say.
I know what I want to say, but figuring out how to say it is difficult and it takes a long time.
I also have poor vocabulary and word retrieval.

I have a problem with expressive language. I dropped out of a writing class in college and so I didn't get a two year degree, just a certificate in business data processing.
But I was able to get a job anyway.
Posting on WP has been good practice. I've always avoided writing letters in real life.



Meril
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04 Aug 2014, 8:28 pm

To kraftiekortie: thank you!

To Mathgirl: typing is much easier than writing by hand but I still find it somewhat difficult.

To Marybird : that is part of what I was trying to say. It is really cool to have someone understand that. I've never been able to explain that aspect of difficulty to teachers do you mind if I borow it?
-------------------------------------end of addressing people personally ---------------------------------------- Also, how can I explain to teachers that writing handwritten work over only makes my fingers hurt more and produces a second illegible paper.( unless however I decide to reword something but the teachers always ask because they want it neater). Another thing is how can I without sounding like a prick explain that I don't need there confirmation to know how bad my handwriting is, that I already feel insecure enough about writing like a 4 year old before they nag me. ( Even when they try to do it nicely) And what I meant by the title was that I'm bad at explaing concepts through writing and bad at talking. I now see how I could have worded that better.



Marybird
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04 Aug 2014, 9:22 pm

Meril wrote:
To Marybird : that is part of what I was trying to say. It is really cool to have someone understand that. I've never been able to explain that aspect of difficulty to teachers do you mind if I borow it?

Of course you can borrow it.
Maybe if you tell your teachers you have problems with expressive language, they will help you with it.
As for your bad handwriting, it is probably dyspraxia.
My grandson has that but somehow his teachers were pretty tolerant of it.
If your teachers don't understand, Maybe you can tell them they should look up dyspraxia.
Do you also have trouble with tying shoes, buttoning buttons, and riding a bike?



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04 Aug 2014, 9:51 pm

Meril,

I agree, posting on WP will give you feedback, and the opportunity to hear how others interpret your words so that you can practicing clarifying as necessary. That said, your writing is more articulate than many of the emails I get from my college students! Befriend spell / grammar check and it gets even easier.

I also struggle with both writing and speaking. Even a simple email can take 15-30 minutes to compose. However, I do prefer writing, because I don't have the added pressure of another person standing there, waiting impatiently for the next word, or for me to get to my point. When I write I can have someone else do the editing if necessary. I have a very difficult time with word retrieval in speaking, but in writing I can leave ellipses in the middle of a sentence until I think of the right word. Or, I can do this: [I can't think of the right word but it starts with an S and reminds me of ...]. When I think of the word, I can put it in place of the ellipses or the description in brackets.

In a writing class I learned a technique called mapping or diagramming, which works very well for me because it is a visual technique and I am a visual thinker. You start with one word or phrase, which is usually the topic; for example, "Music." (It is usually more specific than that) You draw a circle around that, and then draw lines projecting outward like rays of a sun. Then you write other words at the end of each ray, which are the things you think of which you would like to say about music. You circle each of those, and do the same as before with each one, so that at each level you are expanding and refining each thought and connecting them to concepts which are related. It takes time, but it really helps me to figure out what I really want to write about a topic and what words I want to use to describe it. It also helps you see what is most important, because the most important points are the ones which are connected to more ideas, so you can cut out the items which are tangential. I use this frequently, and won awards for my writing at school. But the quality of the result is, as you said, deceptive, because the effort it takes to get there can be so frustrating, especially when it takes so long (I am up to 30 minutes now with this post!). Find a classmate or teacher whom you trust to be objective, who can give you feedback on your writing assignments.

For speaking, some smartphones now have a voice memo option, or you can get an inexpensive dictaphone / voice recorder. Record yourself speaking about something in advance, and then play it back to yourself. Find something to improve, and then try again. This is especially helpful for practicing conversation; you can sit with a friend and talk together, and then replay the conversation and they can point out moments where you digressed or seemed stuck. There is probably a pattern to your conversational "stumbling blocks," and listening to them with others can help you to identify what is disrupting your course of thought or what concepts you need to learn to communicate. I have a difficult time expressing emotions, so when something happens that I feel strongly about, I work it over many times this way even in my own mind before I try to communicate my feelings to others. Otherwise, it's a disaster...



CaptainTrips222
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04 Aug 2014, 10:11 pm

I struggled with that all my life. How old are you?



kelgoldenhearttx
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04 Aug 2014, 10:12 pm

I have the same problem. It was worse when I was younger. I had to practice writing. My suggestion is to practice a lot. This forum is a good place to start.
My mind has very complex thoughts and I also have trouble articulating.



Meril
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05 Aug 2014, 7:55 pm

Thanks to all for the suggestions! I don't think my gross motor skills are bad enough for dyspraxia. I'm a dancer. I do loathe buttoning up shirts, and clothing in general, but that's another story. I can write somewhat neatly but its still bad, if I death grip the pencil. But that requires more pain and effort, takes a long time, i can't keep it up for long, and is still not very good. My normal writing still takes all of these things but to a lesser extent.



vickygleitz
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05 Aug 2014, 8:25 pm

I can only write well when I am in "the zone". I haven't been there for a long time and when I do enter that "portal," I can only write fiction.



Meril
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05 Aug 2014, 10:55 pm

I do get the concept of the zone. I sometimes feel like that too.



Dillogic
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06 Aug 2014, 1:32 am

Can anyone, really?

Words are just general qualifiers to get a certain feeling and/or thought across that most people have agreed to use.

General is far from perfect.

f**k if I've used "yes" to mean "yes" a million times and it wasn't taken as "yes".



BeggingTurtle
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06 Aug 2014, 10:09 pm

I have trouble expressing myself period. I am able to write neatly, but all it does is remind me that my idiotic special ed teachers coerced my hands to be this way.


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