People think I have an attitutude because of my race..

Page 1 of 3 [ 36 posts ] Go to page 1, 2, 3 Next

Joined: 28 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 215

17 Feb 2015, 8:24 pm

People are always saying I have an attitude because I am a black girl. It's driving me crazy! I can literally sit in a corner and not talk to a soul and people will say I am not talking because I am angry (they never think I am shy or socially awkward). Then when I do talk (I tend to be bad in conversations and can't modify tones of voice), people then accredit it to attitude. Also, I am not sure how to smile and that makes people really uncomfortable. It makes me sad because I am a very nice person. I don't know what to do!! How do I get over this stereotype? It really bothers me...

cubedemon6073
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Nov 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,960

17 Feb 2015, 8:40 pm

hollowmoon wrote:

How do I explain this? I am an AS Caucasian man married to an NT black woman. What was explained to me was this. What they perceived is the angry black woman stereotype.
https://www.google.com/#q=angry+black+woman+syndrome

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

17 Feb 2015, 8:44 pm

I'm also a Caucasian ASD person married to a dark-skinned, AfroTrinidadian NT woman.

I'm not there--so I can't evaluate it.

What makes you think it's because of your race? Maybe people think you're just a sulky teenager.

People tend to be suspicious of "quiet" people, no matter what race they are.

I'm sorry you feel like people are stereotyping you. It's not a good feeling.

Sometimes, I feel stereotyped because I don't dress so great sometimes.

cubedemon6073
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Nov 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,960

17 Feb 2015, 8:49 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

What I said was just one possibility. Krafties is another.

Jezebel
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 15 May 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 274
Location: Alabama

17 Feb 2015, 9:19 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:

hollowmoon wrote:

I'd never heard of that before. Thank you for the link.

@hollowmoon: I'm sorry people are assuming you have an attitude. I'm also black (but I don't look it so people assume I'm something else) but I've never had that happen to me. :/

Could you possibly try to explain to people why you're not talking or the issues you have with conversations? As for smiling, hmm... are you sure you don't know how to smile? The only thing I can suggest for that is to maybe research it? Maybe this article will help you?

_________________
Diagnosed with ADHD combined type (02/09/16) and ASD Level 1 (04/28/16).

hollowmoon
Sea Gull

Joined: 28 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 215

17 Feb 2015, 9:29 pm

Some people told me that is probably the reason. How come when I was at a job there was an asian woman who was quiet and nobody bothered her? The boss hated me so much for being quiet she asked me to leave.

kraftiekortie wrote:

I'm also a Caucasian ASD person married to a dark-skinned, AfroTrinidadian NT woman.

I'm not there--so I can't evaluate it.

What makes you think it's because of your race? Maybe people think you're just a sulky teenager.

Somebody told me... a few people actually.

People tend to be suspicious of "quiet" people, no matter what race they are.

I'm sorry you feel like people are stereotyping you. It's not a good feeling.

Sometimes, I feel stereotyped because I don't dress so great sometimes.

hollowmoon
Sea Gull

Joined: 28 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 215

17 Feb 2015, 9:31 pm

Jezebel wrote:

cubedemon6073 wrote:

hollowmoon wrote:

People rarely ask me directly. They just assume, get angry, and avoid me. Besides, I'm not going to tell a stranger I have aspergers.

hollowmoon
Sea Gull

Joined: 28 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 215

17 Feb 2015, 9:33 pm

hollowmoon wrote:

Jezebel wrote:

cubedemon6073 wrote:

hollowmoon wrote:

People rarely ask me directly. They just assume, get angry, and avoid me. Also, yeah I don't think I have ever naturally smiled in my entire life. I have a flat affect. Besides, I'm not going to tell a stranger I have aspergers.

hollowmoon
Sea Gull

Joined: 28 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 215

17 Feb 2015, 9:34 pm

hollowmoon wrote:

Jezebel wrote:

cubedemon6073 wrote:

hollowmoon wrote:

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

17 Feb 2015, 9:36 pm

I wish I could provide easy answers.

It doesn't seem rational: why would your boss throw you out because you are quiet.

Who told you they thought you are angry because of your race?

I'm not saying racial stereotyping is not possible--because I know it exists.

But remember: people are stereotyped for many reasons. We, as Spectrumites, must transcend the stereotypes.

Like I said, I wish I could alleviate your irritation at what's going on in your world. Because you don't deserve to feel the way you feel.

hollowmoon
Sea Gull

Joined: 28 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 215

17 Feb 2015, 9:36 pm

oops

hollowmoon
Sea Gull

Joined: 28 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 215

17 Feb 2015, 9:37 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Because I made her feel really uncomfortable. Another lady told me she called me an "angry black girl". I barely talked to her!

Jezebel
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 15 May 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 274
Location: Alabama

17 Feb 2015, 9:41 pm

hollowmoon wrote:

People rarely ask me directly. They just assume, get angry, and avoid me. Besides, I'm not going to tell a stranger I have aspergers.

Well you don't have to tell them you have AS, but may be able to explain how you communicate differently (though you don't have to explain it exactly like that).

kraftiekortie wrote:

You make a good point though about whether it's race related or not. I don't know about others on the spectrum, but I do know that often (accidentally) give off a vibe that says I'm not interested in people. I can't even help it but I know I give it off because people have started telling me that I do. So it may be possible that the OP is just accidentally giving off an angry vibe.

_________________
Diagnosed with ADHD combined type (02/09/16) and ASD Level 1 (04/28/16).

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

17 Feb 2015, 9:46 pm

I'm sorry you're going through this, Hollowmoon--it's really not fair! People should all be given a fair shake!

If I knew you personally, I would be able to offer better advice.

However...you must not give up. Many people don't hold the views which you described.

Where are you located? Do you go to college? What are you majoring in at the moment?

What is your "special" special interest?

iammaz
Sea Gull

Joined: 6 Apr 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 248

17 Feb 2015, 10:21 pm

I have this problem without race being a factor (i'm white). People feel judged by someone who is just sitting in a corner and not saying anything (I have been told this numerous times). If possible, have another person with you that you can talk to or at work, find one person that shares an interest and talk to them. That gives you an "excuse" to not be interacting with the main group of people. I like to sit quietly and watch people when I'm meeting them for the first time so that I have a chance to work out a set of rules to suit them so I can make less mistakes. Ironically this is a mistake on its own.
Good luck.
Maz

Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,942
Location:

17 Feb 2015, 10:41 pm

Strange ... I get this too, and I'm a middle-aged 'white' male.

People assume that I'm giving them the "silent treatment" out of hostility, when I really just don't have anything to contribute to a conversation; and if I'm smiling, they assume that I'm "up to something", when I'm really just in a good mood.

I've never understood why people assume the worst about my intentions, just because I'm being non-verbal.

_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.

Page 1 of 3 [ 36 posts ] Go to page 1, 2, 3 Next

Jump to:

People think I have an attitutude because of my race.. Post Reply New Topic

People think I have an attitutude because of my race..