What's so bad about social crutches?

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A lot of NTs seem to think my social strategies are social crutches. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Isn't it good to try to find strategies to improve your social life when you're not naturally social?

They don't like "crutches" because they believe social adeptness should come naturally.

You have to do what you have to do to succeed in the world. If that means crutches, crutches it is.

i don't understand what social crutches is

A Social Crutch is something people use to make it easier for them to be around people or to communicate with them. Social crutches may include, and are not limited to:

• Alcohol or drugs. Some people seem to believe that they cannot "be themselves" unless they are drunk, high, or stoned.

• Contentiousness. Disagreeing with everyone and having a dissenting opinion on everything.

• Gregariousness. Agreeing with everyone and supporting everyone else's opinions on everything.

• Flirting. Pretending to be attracted to others, or hinting at the promise of sexual favor.

• Humor. People who know every latest joke are one thing, but people who make fools of themselves are still only fools.

• Promiscuity. Trading sexual favors for inclusion in a group.

I'm sure DevilKisses doesn't use promiscuity, alcohol, or drugs.

A lot of people we'd label NTs don't seem to think about how to be social, they just do it. Having to have thought out strategies other than for the occasional difficult situation isn't what I think of as neurotypical. If you are seen as or describing yourself as NT than people won't expect you to need social strategies, and they call them crutches because they think you shouldn't need them.

Good post. Every item on it looks unhealthy to me, so I guess I'd define a social crutch as an unhealthy strategy for achieving social acceptance. On the other hand, a huge number of mainstreamers seem to see spurious flirting as perfectly healthy. I've always been at loggerheads with that view though. Come to think of it, alcohol is also often vigorously defended as worth the downside, and definitely socially acceptable in many circles.

Anyway, to my mind, if somebody accuses you of using a social crutch, a good response would be to ask them what they think is unhealthy about it.

Damned if ya do, and damned if ya don't. I don't know what the gimmick is that you use but if you didn't use it you wouldn't be social at all. So you get ostracized either way.

Like someone above said you could ask folks (a)what they mean by the term "social crutch", and (b) what exactly is wrong with whatever it is that you do that they label as that.

I think if you want a serious, intimate relationship (friendship, romantic partner, etc), you'll need to drop the crutches around them eventually. But for mere acquaintances or people you're forced to interact with, a social crutch can be pretty useful, as long as it's a healthy one. (And not all social crutches are unhealthy - I'd count conversing on a script as a social crutch.)