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Chanot
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25 Dec 2016, 11:39 pm

This has happened to me many times before but I am becoming a bit concerned that the interaction is steadily decreasing. I have an online friend that I met a few months ago and we are really good friends but for the past week she has hardly talked to me which is weird. We regularly messaged each other at least a few times a day but this week its been like once every two days. As for right now I am hoping it just has something to do with the holidays but I don't want to ask to find out. I really just want to get back to the usual amount of conversation. I'm trying not to obsess over her so much but I am also starting to believe that she is my soulmate.



CyclopsSummers
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26 Dec 2016, 8:11 am

I would give it a bit of time for now; as you say, it may very well have to do with the holidays, those can be hectic. If the feeling of close online friendship is mutual, then she will probably want to sustain correspondence. Messaging you once every two days is still relatively frequent. It could also be that she, like you, doesn't want to push, and is therefore dialling down on the frequency of messaging. I've experienced the same myself in past online friendships.

If the correspondence between you two still doesn't return to its pre-holiday intensity over the course of next month, then perhaps you could send her a message explaining how much she means to you and that you are very fond of talking to her. In the meanwhile, I'd advice that you have patience and just ride out the holidays and their aftermath. If you guys have lots of common ground, there's no reason for your friendship to die down.


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the_phoenix
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26 Dec 2016, 9:13 am

As a single, middle-aged lady who has had many online, so-called "friends" ...
if all you're doing is online communication, you can pretty much expect the friendship to fade.

In the two times where an online friend has become my close real-world friend, we either advanced to becoming telephone friends who sent each other cards and gifts (we couldn't meet in person due to distance), or we advanced to e-mail, talking on the phone, and then yes, meeting in person.

With an online friend, it's all too easy for someone to think of you as a computer program instead of a human being. One of my online friends told me I was only "words on a screen."

Also ... if you chat or send messages to someone online several times every single day ... Eventually, the other person is going to become either bored or overwhelmed and want to leave the relationship.

Yes, you are taking a risk if you say something like, "We've been messaging each other for months now. Would you like to talk on the phone, and how about meeting in person at a coffee shop?"

It could just be the holidays ...

If this person is a real friend, they will be happy to talk on the phone and meet at a coffee shop.
If not, probably the amount and frequency of communication has been too much to handle for them, or there's no real connection but rather a superficial one.

Just sharing some thoughts based on my own experiences.

Wishing you the best of success! :D



This_Amoeba
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26 Dec 2016, 6:34 pm

I agree, the holidays are hectic and that could be the reason for getting messaged less. You just have to learn to not take it personally. I think I probably just sabotaged a friendship I had by taking the reduction in messaging personally. I was beginning to obsess over the person and I'm pretty sure I embarrassed myself because of it. They used to message me several times a day and we even met up in person a few times, but lately they haven't talked to me as much. It's made me insecure thinking I did something wrong, but really it's not my fault. People get busy and have their own s**t to deal with, and in all odds it has nothing to do with you. I pestered the person about it and it caused them to pull back. Talking several times a day isn't even the norm, maybe when youre getting to know each other it is, but over time I think it's more normal to only talk maybe once a week.



Starfoxx
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03 Jan 2017, 6:46 pm

Chanot wrote:
This has happened to me many times before but I am becoming a bit concerned that the interaction is steadily decreasing. I have an online friend that I met a few months ago and we are really good friends but for the past week she has hardly talked to me which is weird. We regularly messaged each other at least a few times a day but this week its been like once every two days. As for right now I am hoping it just has something to do with the holidays but I don't want to ask to find out. I really just want to get back to the usual amount of conversation. I'm trying not to obsess over her so much but I am also starting to believe that she is my soulmate.

There same thing has been happening with my online friend and he stopped replying to my messages. I think he has either lost his phone again or deleted the messaging apps we use. I know sometimes he quits and comes back. We've been friends for 5 years online. :(



Starfoxx
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03 Jan 2017, 6:48 pm

I'm actually pretty sad because if I'm friends with someone I remember them for life whether it's in real life or online. I literally remember all the friends I've ever had even though I know most don't care about me or remember me much.



AngryAngryAngry
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06 Jan 2017, 10:29 pm

Soulmate... romantic interest?
Perhaps she was hoping for some romance also, and hoping you made a move, but you were not fast enough at initiating.