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livingwithautism
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17 May 2018, 8:52 am

People stare at me in public, especially when I'm stimming, when I speak, make noises, or maybe even from my posture. They must think that I don't notice but I do. I've even had people point me out to their friends. Do people stare at you?



SabbraCadabra
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17 May 2018, 8:58 am

Not that I've ever noticed, I actually think I get the opposite.

Usually when someone stares at me, it means they want me to talk to them.


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livingwithautism
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17 May 2018, 9:00 am

SabbraCadabra wrote:
Not that I've ever noticed, I actually think I get the opposite.

Usually when someone stares at me, it means they want me to talk to them.


Sometimes I get the intentionally looking away but can't help but turn around and look treatment.



airylef
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17 May 2018, 10:04 am

Sometimes I think so. I'm never sure if it's checking me out, being grossed out by me obsessively biting my nails/fingers, judging my appearance or something else entirely. I generally assume it's in a negative way like they're judging me or think I'm gross (though, honestly, if attraction is "positive"... I still consider that negative). I basically want no attention ever and it bothers me a lot. However, I try to remember that sometimes I stare off into "space" and actually it might seem like I'm staring at a person, so maybe they're just doing that too.


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livingwithautism
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17 May 2018, 10:10 am

That’s a fine point.



Joe90
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17 May 2018, 10:31 am

airylef wrote:
Sometimes I think so. I'm never sure if it's checking me out, being grossed out by me obsessively biting my nails/fingers, judging my appearance or something else entirely. I generally assume it's in a negative way like they're judging me or think I'm gross (though, honestly, if attraction is "positive"... I still consider that negative). I basically want no attention ever and it bothers me a lot. However, I try to remember that sometimes I stare off into "space" and actually it might seem like I'm staring at a person, so maybe they're just doing that too.


I feel the same way. When I go out in public, I don't want the attention of people staring at me, especially other women. I avoid eye contact with strangers, so it's not like I'm looking at them to begin with, but I can still feel or sense when someone is looking at me. I don't stim or do any other odd movements.

But I don't like to come on here and talk about this because (no offense) most of the members just assume that I am socially clueless and make me believe that I am stimming without knowing it or doing something weird that I don't know about. They think that no Aspie ever looks normal. I'd like to hear one of these member's definition of what one is supposed to look like when out shopping or waiting for a bus, etc, and I can gaurentee you I will tick all those boxes.

And don't say it's because I don't have a baby with me because that is ridiculous. I live in a large city which is multicultural plus and has lots of diverse people so the only way you can stand out where I live is if you are dancing around with your underwear on your head.


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EzraS
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17 May 2018, 11:09 am

Only most of the time.



kimosabe
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17 May 2018, 12:26 pm

I'm too busy looking at the ground to really notice most of the time.

...

I know I get looks at times.. Maybe it's my wide, hobbly gait or people guessing my gender.



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17 May 2018, 12:36 pm

kimosabe wrote:
I'm too busy looking at the ground to really notice most of the time.



Same here.


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17 May 2018, 12:47 pm

No. If people face me, they greet me actively (saying hi) or passively (nodding).



livingwithautism
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17 May 2018, 4:01 pm

EzraS wrote:
Only most of the time.


Me too.



KB8CWB
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17 May 2018, 4:35 pm

livingwithautism wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Only most of the time.


Me too.


It is quite disconcerting and it happens to me all the time. I normally will stare off to the distance if in a restaurant or something. Otherwise they may think I am staring at them. But I can most always "feel" their eyes on me and if I discreetly glance, quite often I am right. I feel like an alien out in public...



livingwithautism
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17 May 2018, 5:25 pm

KB8CWB wrote:
livingwithautism wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Only most of the time.


Me too.


It is quite disconcerting and it happens to me all the time. I normally will stare off to the distance if in a restaurant or something. Otherwise they may think I am staring at them. But I can most always "feel" their eyes on me and if I discreetly glance, quite often I am right. I feel like an alien out in public...


I know what you mean about "feeling" them stare.



EzraS
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17 May 2018, 8:14 pm

usually I am oblivious to those around me but still feel it happening time to time. depends on the place and setting.



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17 May 2018, 8:23 pm

Yes, it happens to me all of the time and I have spent a great deal of time trying to figure out the reason. Is it this, could it be that or maybe? I finally decided I will never figure it out and I don't care.