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Romofan
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06 Sep 2020, 1:40 am

I think of myself as an ordinary person. Ordinarily dressed (in a blue collar, badly dressed city), not shabby just baseball cap slacks and collared shirt.

But I find some people...ok lots of people, give me weird looks when I interact with them.

I have a kinda weird voice for Texas, ok, no accent, a bit formal speaking/pedantic (which I try to watch).

I don't make much eye contact, and I'm told I am always smiling (which is weird cuz I'm moody a/f)

But I always feel that people are...well...treating me different.

I'm black and burly like a truck driver, but black people gawk and treat me funny too

Anyone else elicit such strange reactions?


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Joe90
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06 Sep 2020, 5:11 am

Quote:
Anyone else elicit such strange reactions?


Yes I do get gawks when I'm passing people in the street, not in stores so much but just when walking along the street. It's usually chavvy women in their 20s and 30s that look at me as they pass. I don't look at them, I look ahead, but I can SEE them staring as they pass, in my periphery.
I don't dress oddly; I just wear casual clothes that are stylish and aren't meant to make you stand out. Also these days I wear a face mask, and the wearing of face masks is common in my city of people of all ages, so it's not considered unusual to be wearing one. My masks are just plain white, so it's not like I have snazzy colours that might attract people.
Also wearing a face mask hides a lot of my facial expressions (if my facial expressions are what makes people stare), and I relax the muscles around my eyes so I don't look angry or nervous or anything.

So I don't see any valid reasons for these chavvy women to stare at me, unless they just stare at every female that passes them. Chavs are known to be tactless and rude.


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Mountain Goat
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06 Sep 2020, 5:58 am

Yes. Especially after burnout, but even noticeable before. I have noticed when I walk past on footpaths that pass playparks, that parents will quickly grab their children. Yet it does not happen to others, some of whom are not trustworthy characters. Why does it happen to me as I have never gone out to harm anyone? And what do they see in me that makes them do that? I actually don't know because to me I appear and walk normal enough.


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traven
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06 Sep 2020, 6:28 am

not so much anymore,
but i find it strange that whenever i'm in a line that's exactly where people suddenly want to cross
i myself never do that, idk why do people do this?
last time shopping, while someone wanted to pass already, another asked if i could give her way on the other side, i said no, already someone is doing that on the other side, and the look 8O :roll: :mrgreen:



Steve1963
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06 Sep 2020, 6:29 am

I don't think people look at me funny. But now you've got me all kinds of paranoid that maybe they do and I've just not noticed. :(



Mountain Goat
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06 Sep 2020, 11:31 am

Steve1963 wrote:
I don't think people look at me funny. But now you've got me all kinds of paranoid that maybe they do and I've just not noticed. :(

Aww. That is part of the problem I can get because if one person looks at me as if I am odd, it will be on my mind and I will then behave oddly because I am making a big effort not to walk or act oddly, which becomes odd in itself!


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DeathParty
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22 Sep 2020, 5:36 pm

Occasionally. I can present as everything from overdressed to downright sloppy, and it's completely hit or miss for me with small talk. I'm also pretty sure I attract attention when a store gets busy. It can take me a long to time to finish my shopping if I'm overwhelmed and can likely be mistaken for shoplifting or "irrational" behavior... oops.



Joe90
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23 Sep 2020, 6:03 pm

I can't look that weird because parents aren't afraid to let their kids run around in my personal space. In fact I've had strangers put their babies and toddlers right next to me, even though I give off signals that I do not like babies and young children.

But even though I don't look so much like a threat, other women still look at me. Even if they're distracted, something still makes them turn their head and look at me if I am walking by like I am a glowing florescent light or something. It creeps me out.

People don't look at me in stores so much. Staff look at me even less. So it's comforting to know that I don't look like a thief or a murderer, but I still get baffled as to why I get noticed by women so much. I'd much prefer to be noticed by cute guys...


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Cephalopod
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22 Nov 2020, 3:36 am

Not always, but in some situations. If you are in a very homogenized environment, any subtle nuance in your appearance or behavior can be enough to direct negative attention your way. I'm currently in a small town that presents a facade of "friendly", but they are in actuality extremely judgemental and narrow minded. They are not good about hiding their disdain. My boyfriend and I got dirty looks on Halloween because we were wearing costumes. No other adults were wearing costumes. Who cares? The townsfolk, apparently.



traven
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22 Nov 2020, 3:54 am

looking funny at you
best choice when there's a little opening for a joke
like i wouldn't go much to the local sphere bc the old men being obnoxious,
one said in the full postoffice, "how come you wear braides??"
"because i put this in this morning"
- the whole crowd laughed

or just look back funny as well



WhatAPickleIndeed
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22 Nov 2020, 9:39 am

Yes all the time even when I was little, I used to work at a daycare and some children were so afraid of me, or would give me a strange look. The other girls I worked with didn't like me either, they would either get annoyed with me whisper about me, or just look at me oddly.

I call it the look, my family thinks its all in my head but reading these comments here I know its' not. I think we've all gotten that facial expression like there's something not quite right about this person. I hate hate hate it, I try hard not to stand weirdly, or talk strangely, I used to be made fun of for the way I walked, or my position while sitting so I'm very self conscious. I've been trying to mimic "normal" behavior I've tried to make friends with people I just don't click with anyone. I know exactly what you mean by the look I get it too and I'm a relative "normal" looking female. Its like "normal" people can tell there's something off about us.



Joe90
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25 Nov 2020, 4:23 am

WhatAPickleIndeed wrote:
Yes all the time even when I was little, I used to work at a daycare and some children were so afraid of me, or would give me a strange look. The other girls I worked with didn't like me either, they would either get annoyed with me whisper about me, or just look at me oddly.

I call it the look, my family thinks its all in my head but reading these comments here I know its' not. I think we've all gotten that facial expression like there's something not quite right about this person. I hate hate hate it, I try hard not to stand weirdly, or talk strangely, I used to be made fun of for the way I walked, or my position while sitting so I'm very self conscious. I've been trying to mimic "normal" behavior I've tried to make friends with people I just don't click with anyone. I know exactly what you mean by the look I get it too and I'm a relative "normal" looking female. Its like "normal" people can tell there's something off about us.


I understand your frustration. Makes you not want to go out. These people who stare should stop and think how they're making you feel if you are not doing anything to draw the attention on to yourself. I know people do look if you are doing something weird but when it's obvious that you're just being normal then there's nothing much to stare at, unless they find you attractive. But I don't believe attractiveness causes staring from heterosexuals of the same sex. Usually if a woman is staring at me it means she is judging me. I've had girls (teenagers and 20s) laughing at me before, for doing nothing to deserve that kind of attention.
A few years ago I was in a restaurant with my boyfriend, and while we were waiting for our meals to come he went to the bathroom and I just sat there sipping my glass of coke. I saw these 2 girls on the next table stare at me and whisper something to each other and then giggle. I wasn't staring at them first, I just saw their body language in my periphery which made me automatically look up at them and catch them laughing at me. I knew they weren't laughing at anything behind me because all there was behind me was a brick wall. I got all self-conscious, because I never rock or flap my hands anyway so I know I wasn't doing it there, I was just being as normal as what they were being. It wasn't what I was wearing either, because I just had a trendy jacket on (dark green with fur collar, something that was trendy and fashionable for my age). And it isn't abnormal to wear jackets indoors, as it was wintertime and I see a lot of people, particularly women, keep their jackets on in restaurants if it's cold out. I know there's no social rule that obliges you to take your jacket off as soon as you enter a restaurant, unless the restaurant has a dress code, which this one didn't (it was just a casual type restaurant and I wasn't the only woman with a jacket on).
I mean, how normal do you have to be to not get people laughing at you? Who were these girls expecting me to be? Lady Gaga?


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ezbzbfcg2
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25 Nov 2020, 4:52 am

I have a pretty thick skin. Most of this stuff doesn't bother me on the surface. I don't fall apart emotionally. However, there's that NEXT LEVEL. It moves from dislike to dehumanization with the lower-level NTs. These same folks flip out if the same behavior is even mildly hurled their way, but they think they have free regin to treat us like crap and push it to that next level.

Even the kinder NTs don't see it, or, (if they do) they don't come to our aid and turn a blind eye to the bad behavior of their comrades.

What disgusts me about life is that most people abide by this terrible system. I like all the niceness of NT existence, and I'd love to live-and-let-live with them, even if they're not crazy about me. But I'm still amazed how they all adopt this exclusionary/dehumanizing attitude toward the outsider. They don't practice live-and-let-live. It sucks to be an Aspie. But, after being one, the thought of being an NT nauseates me. F them.

I know some of you have come to the same conclusion, but are afraid to say it outwardly.