Do you ever feel revengeful or cynical??

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Danusaurus
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06 Oct 2020, 3:23 am

Hey all,

Wondering if you ever feel like revenge seeking against people who constantly make you feel worthless? My family tell me that I'm a f-wit and ret*d and I feel like revenge is something that I really want to consider. It not in my nature but I feel it's my only way of making myself heard as I say and express that I'm upset and suicidal and have self harmed and attempted suicide many times in the last couple of years but they still do it and I don't even get the respect as they do this behind my back and deny it and they send people to call me names even at 3am in public places. Would these things make you want to seek revenge? Would you go against your morals if you were treated this way? To make it worse they told everybody they possibly could my secrets and they felt it was their entitlement to go and tell everyone that I have ASD without even asking me first or how I'd feel about it. Let me know your thoughts.



Edna3362
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06 Oct 2020, 4:07 am

The majority of my past self does consist of me being cynical and vengeful.

And that's even under a relatively more forgiving circumstances.




Had I've been in your position, I would've reacted differently.

Because I have a personally different moral code.
With a different means to offset unpleasant emotions, other ways to navigate around situations and dynamics.


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aquafelix
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06 Oct 2020, 4:24 am

Cynical, Yes. Revengeful, no.



Dear_one
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06 Oct 2020, 6:31 am

I get that way sometimes, but I feel better when I focus on making something good.



Pepe
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06 Oct 2020, 6:50 am

Danusaurus wrote:
Hey all,

Wondering if you ever feel like revenge seeking against people who constantly make you feel worthless?


I'd be surprised if anyone made me feel *worthless*.
I am not being arrogant when I say I have a depth of self-esteem.
I don't judge my worth on how other people see me.
That doesn't mean I don't get angry. :wink:

No, I don't seek revenge, as such.
I may expose the hypocrisy around us, but I am not deluded in thinking I can change things.
I guess giving the finger to express my contempt is as far as I go. 8)



Pepe
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06 Oct 2020, 6:56 am

Danusaurus wrote:
Hey all,

and they send people to call me names even at 3am in public places.


Could you be the victim of a gangstalking campaign?



techstepgenr8tion
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06 Oct 2020, 6:59 am

I watch a bit of Aaron Clarey / a***hole Consulting when I'm feeling that way - then I get a bit of a reminder that I'm not the only one who sees it.

We're pretty much unthinking instinctual animals, and if anything is slightly different we play dominance games to take away that other thing's power. We like to 'think' we're thinking, it's flattery when someone makes us feel that way, but thinking - even reading in the day and age of Facebook, Twitter, ant TikTok - is a weird thing for weird people.

Idiocracy comes to mind quite often.

So yes - your life will be wasted by mostly useless people and you'll find out that even 3rd grade vocabulary often is aiming too high if what you're saying has any first-principals logic in it rather than simply parroting something you saw on TV.


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Pepe
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06 Oct 2020, 7:07 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:

We're pretty much unthinking instinctual animals, and if anything is slightly different we play dominance games to take away that other thing's power.


I can honestly say I don't do this.
I don't have a significant ego.
I will defend myself if I am attacked tho.

I don't need to feel superior to other people.
It is more important to know who I am and to maintain my personal integrity. 8)

Yes, I know, I'm full of it. :mrgreen:



Danusaurus
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06 Oct 2020, 8:59 am

Pepe wrote:
Danusaurus wrote:
Hey all,

and they send people to call me names even at 3am in public places.


Could you be the victim of a gangstalking campaign?


Absolutely that's exactly what it is. It gets very tiring and it bothers me cause its right when I want to have some time out n about in quiet otherwise turning a blind eye wouldn't bother me so much but I shouldn't have to listen to people call me retartded etc when I'm out at 3am And offer them a right to have their say to my face except they just deny they said anything. They love making me seem like I have some weird paranoid psychosis for some reason. .. it's very strange. Most of the time I don't care too much but at stupid hours like that .. hard for anyone to just have to put up with derogatory comments and be expected to just shut up. Or am I wrong here ?



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06 Oct 2020, 7:12 pm


As for cyncial. I'm a really cynical person so yes i'm cynical. AS for revengeful. Yes I do seek revenge when i feel really wronged. Idk I might have like a conduct disorder or something.


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techstepgenr8tion
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06 Oct 2020, 8:58 pm

Pepe wrote:
I can honestly say I don't do this.
I don't have a significant ego.
I will defend myself if I am attacked tho.

It's more of a deep existential depression than an egotism, ie. I'd much rather live in a world where most people could run circles around me and if someone kicks my arse roundly I'd at least deeply admire them.


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kitesandtrainsandcats
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06 Oct 2020, 9:38 pm

Danusaurus wrote:
My family tell me that I'm a f-wit and ret*d and ... and they send people to call me names even at 3am in public places. ... To make it worse they told everybody they possibly could my secrets and they felt it was their entitlement to go and tell everyone that I have ASD without even asking me first or how I'd feel about it. Let me know your thoughts.


That's abuse, abuse is injustice and injustice is known to generate feelings of, desire for, vengeance, revenge.
I've had that.
Sometimes handled it constructively. :)
Sometimes handled it destructively. :( (wouldn't recommend going that type of route)

And upon reviewing definitions of cynical and cynicism, yep, been there felt that, might still do.

Quote:
Cynicism is an attitude characterized by a general distrust of others' motives.[1] A cynic may have a general lack of faith or hope in the human species or people ... Modern cynicism has been defined as an attitude of distrust toward claimed ethical and social values and a rejection of the need to be socially involved.[3] It is pessimistic about the capacity of human beings to make correct ethical choices, and one antonym is naiveté.[4] Modern cynicism is sometimes regarded as a product of mass society, especially in those circumstances where the individual believes there is a conflict between society's stated motives and goals and actual motives and goals.[5][6]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynicism_(contemporary)

Tonight I don't have a "Do this to fix that" thing to offer.
What exactly to do depends on so many different variables specific to the situation and to the specific individuals involved.

I wonder what would happen if when your family does call you those things, you ask them,
"Okay, I get that you are saying that to me because it meets a need you have, what unmet need in you does it meet?"


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Pepe
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06 Oct 2020, 10:16 pm

Danusaurus wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Danusaurus wrote:
Hey all,

and they send people to call me names even at 3am in public places.


Could you be the victim of a gangstalking campaign?


Absolutely that's exactly what it is. It gets very tiring and it bothers me cause its right when I want to have some time out n about in quiet otherwise turning a blind eye wouldn't bother me so much but I shouldn't have to listen to people call me retartded etc when I'm out at 3am And offer them a right to have their say to my face except they just deny they said anything. They love making me seem like I have some weird paranoid psychosis for some reason. .. it's very strange. Most of the time I don't care too much but at stupid hours like that .. hard for anyone to just have to put up with derogatory comments and be expected to just shut up. Or am I wrong here ?


Do you feel people follow you around?
If so, do you have your mobile phone with you at the time?

When I was stalked, a lot of it was through having my mobile phone on me.
Simply having the phone off doesn't stop the global positioning feature.
You need to take the battery out of the phone to disable it.
I virtually never have the battery in it and only carry my phone with me in case my car breaks down, etc.



Pepe
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06 Oct 2020, 10:20 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I can honestly say I don't do this.
I don't have a significant ego.
I will defend myself if I am attacked tho.

It's more of a deep existential depression than an egotism, ie. I'd much rather live in a world where most people could run circles around me and if someone kicks my arse roundly I'd at least deeply admire them.


Dude!
Snap out of it! 8O



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06 Oct 2020, 10:24 pm

kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:

That's abuse, abuse is injustice and injustice is known to generate feelings of, desire for, vengeance, revenge.
I've had that.
Sometimes handled it constructively. :)
Sometimes handled it destructively. :( (wouldn't recommend going that type of route)


Neither would I.
People can easily be set up to look bad simply by *reacting* aggressively to abuse.
A lot of Clark Kents in the world. 8O



kitesandtrainsandcats
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06 Oct 2020, 11:12 pm

Pepe wrote:
People can easily be set up to look bad simply by *reacting* aggressively to abuse.

Yep, and in this world the "right now" has become the only reality for far too many people; and the "what happened 20 seconds ago that led to the right now" doesn't even exist in their world.


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