Do you get overly affected by peoples emotions

Page 1 of 2 [ 31 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

lvpin
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 26 Oct 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 434

23 Dec 2020, 8:42 pm

I was curious about this because I know part of ASD is poor emotional regulation and I was wondering if anyone feels like their emotions are really affected by others or sort of blend into theirs.

I've always found that especially with negative emotions I find myself really effected by other people, to the point where it is really inconvenient and doesn't cast me in the best light. For example, a friend will be upset and I will try to comfort them but the very fact that they are upset will make me upset, often more than them. I try to hide this for obvious reasons but it can get so bad that I stop functioning because someone I care about is sad or kind of shut down because I take on their problems. I was recently told by a friend that they had attempted and of course immediately went to sympathise with them and try to find out how to best support them, I plan to check up on them regularly but it has now completely thrown me back into being depressed, not taking care of myself and wanting to just leave things. I now really understand what Will Graham was going on about in Hannibal haha

Basically, does anyone else feel for others so much it can overwhelm them and find it hard to have that separation of emotions?



kitesandtrainsandcats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2016
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,892
Location: Missouri

23 Dec 2020, 10:25 pm

Right now I'm not good for giving details, but, yes, this kind of thing has happened sometimes.


_________________
"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 104,568
Location: Canada in person, Germany in spirit

23 Dec 2020, 10:39 pm

I do. I can feel the emotions of people who are in the room with me. I also cry very easily.


_________________
Peabody

Om Nom 2024

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,212
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

23 Dec 2020, 11:03 pm

I can be.

While I'm quite forgiving to others who tried to influence me with it, yet I'm not very forgiving towards myself being under influence of said emotions.

That's how sympathy won't work well with me. :lol:
Try to make me cry with you.
It can result awkwardness due to overwhelm, taking offence intolerance or an actual punch on the face out of impatience.
I'd kill any of my impulses to relieve of someone's suffering before I can do something stupid with it.

Or anger.
I'd either freeze or go all out fight. I'm too aware of my penchant for violence -- so it'll be the first thing I would have to handle.
The rest gets complicated, depending on the person.

Or laugh. I may end up overthink why are the others are laughing and why should I laugh.
If the question in my head is unanswered, I'd just feel giddy for no reason.
It can annoy me, it can make me over do laughter.

But those are just few examples.
And... Breaking scripts is what I do best. :o


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).


StephanieFisher
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 23 Dec 2020
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 8
Location: USA,NY

24 Dec 2020, 9:15 am

very sensitive for everyone's emotions and sometimes it gives me hard times, tbh



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,720
Location: Australia

24 Dec 2020, 9:33 am

Caffeine makes me an emotional mess.
I am sure I am not the only one. 8)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. "Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions." I didn't say that. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many on the left pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


THERE WILL BE NO COUP IN AMERICA!


Fern
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,171

24 Dec 2020, 9:50 am

I think I might experience this sometimes, but it is hard to be sure.


_________________
This is me.


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,642
Location: South-East England

24 Dec 2020, 12:34 pm

Yes, sometimes quite vividly.

There's a woman cleaner at work who doesn't speak much English, and last year she thought she was being accused of stealing when she wasn't. The supervisor was trying to say to her that there was a wallet left in the same place for a week, meaning that she hadn't swept properly where she should have - but she thought he was accusing her of stealing the wallet, which he wasn't. I felt so bad for her because she looked so upset and the supervisor didn't seem to notice, he just thought he'd got through to her and walked off. So I tried explaining in a clearer way what the supervisor was trying to say, but it still didn't get through, all she said was 'I no stealing.' So I told the supervisor that she needs this explained to her in her own language, and that I should take her down to the office where there was a guy who was fluent in her language as well as English. But the supervisor said to sort it out later, and he just didn't seem to understand how upset she was. I didn't like seeing her upset one bit, and I couldn't let her start her work without sorting this out first. In fact I didn't want to start work until I knew she was happy, as it would drive me crazy (not in a selfish way, I mean that her feelings would be affecting me even though I wasn't working with her). There is nothing worse than being accused of something you haven't done (or thinking that you're being accused), so I knew exactly how she felt and I couldn't do anything until this was sorted out. So I took her down to the office to get the message through to her in her language so that she can relax and regain her trust. I explained it to the guy there and then he told her the same in her language. She then smiled when she realised what we were trying to say to her all along. So we started work after that and I was just relieved that she was happy.
I just couldn't leave it until later. I didn't care that I was a bit late starting work, I knew I would not be able to do my job properly knowing another person was feeling upset, and I knew that she wouldn't be able to either.

And no, I wasn't doing it to boost my ego, I really did feel bad for her and I wanted the issue to be sorted out for her sake.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


AriaEclipse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 743
Location: A basement office with no heat or windows

24 Dec 2020, 4:38 pm

I think I might. I live with and am around people almost all the time that are anxious, unhappy, or a mix of both. I have thought in the past that that could be why I feel like those are the emotions I feel the most often. I always tell people that they can come to me anytime if they need to chat and vent, and while they definitely can always talk to me, sometimes I find it hard to not get myself feeling the way they do and also worrying about them. I also find it hard to be happy if others around me are miserable. It makes me feel guilty, honestly, if I'm feeling alright and others are sad, if that makes any sense.


_________________
"Well, I'm fairly happy. That's something"-Dana Scully, The X-Files

My Tumblr


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 74,648
Location: Queens, NYC

24 Dec 2020, 4:43 pm

I agree with Joe. The lady should KNOW that she is not being accused of stealing.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,720
Location: Australia

24 Dec 2020, 9:46 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Yes, sometimes quite vividly.

There's a woman cleaner at work who doesn't speak much English, and last year she thought she was being accused of stealing when she wasn't. The supervisor was trying to say to her that there was a wallet left in the same place for a week, meaning that she hadn't swept properly where she should have - but she thought he was accusing her of stealing the wallet, which he wasn't. I felt so bad for her because she looked so upset and the supervisor didn't seem to notice, he just thought he'd got through to her and walked off. So I tried explaining in a clearer way what the supervisor was trying to say, but it still didn't get through, all she said was 'I no stealing.' So I told the supervisor that she needs this explained to her in her own language, and that I should take her down to the office where there was a guy who was fluent in her language as well as English. But the supervisor said to sort it out later, and he just didn't seem to understand how upset she was. I didn't like seeing her upset one bit, and I couldn't let her start her work without sorting this out first. In fact I didn't want to start work until I knew she was happy, as it would drive me crazy (not in a selfish way, I mean that her feelings would be affecting me even though I wasn't working with her). There is nothing worse than being accused of something you haven't done (or thinking that you're being accused), so I knew exactly how she felt and I couldn't do anything until this was sorted out. So I took her down to the office to get the message through to her in her language so that she can relax and regain her trust. I explained it to the guy there and then he told her the same in her language. She then smiled when she realised what we were trying to say to her all along. So we started work after that and I was just relieved that she was happy.
I just couldn't leave it until later. I didn't care that I was a bit late starting work, I knew I would not be able to do my job properly knowing another person was feeling upset, and I knew that she wouldn't be able to either.

And no, I wasn't doing it to boost my ego, I really did feel bad for her and I wanted the issue to be sorted out for her sake.


A decent person in the world?
Ridiculous! [joke] :mrgreen:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. "Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions." I didn't say that. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many on the left pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


THERE WILL BE NO COUP IN AMERICA!


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,720
Location: Australia

24 Dec 2020, 9:50 pm

AriaEclipse wrote:
I think I might. I live with and am around people almost all the time that are anxious, unhappy, or a mix of both. I have thought in the past that that could be why I feel like those are the emotions I feel the most often. I always tell people that they can come to me anytime if they need to chat and vent, and while they definitely can always talk to me, sometimes I find it hard to not get myself feeling the way they do and also worrying about them. I also find it hard to be happy if others around me are miserable. It makes me feel guilty, honestly, if I'm feeling alright and others are sad, if that makes any sense.


There is so much misery in the world.
One of the reasons I am a hermit/hikikomori. 8)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. "Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions." I didn't say that. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many on the left pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


THERE WILL BE NO COUP IN AMERICA!


Clueless2017
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 638
Location: California

24 Dec 2020, 9:51 pm

If my beloved husband (who is on the spectrum) were reading this, he would raise his hand without hesitation...My husband is like a sponge, because he seems to 'absorb' my emotions, negative or positive...

As an ENFJ, my feelings are extraverted, so i cannot hide what i feel...And i feel everything very strongly...Although ENFJs do have a logical brain, we rely on our heart (our emotions) for decision-making...And so, on the same day, we could experience a whole gam of emotions--both good and bad...This usually depends on what is happening in our environment...ENFJs thrive in HARMONY...So, if i experience conflict in my interpersonal relationships, i will be an emotional wreck...

During our courtship, my husband noticed that when i was feeling miserable, i would rely on him for support and strength...Evidently, he knew back then that this would be an issue in our marriage, but i sincerely did not know...Once married, i learned--the hard way--not to rely on him :cry: :cry: :cry: (I much prefer not to remember such incidents)...

Suffice to say, once i discovered the tremendous influence i have on my beloved husband, i am striving to be a positive force and a positive influence in him...And i think i am succeeding...Having said this i will sing again and dance again before his eyes, so that "his heart jumps of happiness"...This is how he described his emotions when watching me dance like a teenager to the rhythm of my platonic love, Bruce Springsteen...:wink:



Mock Turtle
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 11 Dec 2020
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 9

24 Dec 2020, 10:19 pm

Being around people showing negative emotions makes me uncomfortable, but I don't think I'm all that empathetic.

The one exception is when others are embarrassed--I'll often feel more embarrassed than they do.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,642
Location: South-East England

25 Dec 2020, 8:35 am

I find it hard to hide my feelings too. My feelings must be known by other humans. People tell me I should write down all my feelings in a diary, but that's no use to me because nobody would read it so nobody will know how I'm feeling. I need to verbally express my feelings, or post my feelings online, like I do here. I used to let my feelings come pouring out on Facebook but I've been told not to do that so I don't bother any more. It's better to post my feelings here where I can be anonymous. But that has it's own issues too, as I come across as a self-obsessed narcissist here but that is the total opposite of what I am. I don't generally use WP for small talk or chitchat, I do that all on Facebook. Here is just a place I come to pour out my thoughts and feelings and discuss ideas and opinions. I'm more of the ''love you'' and ''there there'' and ''what's up?'' and ''how are you?'' type on Facebook.


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,308
Location: Wales,UK Relationship: Single Interests: Trains AgeGroup: 40's FavouriteColor: Green Music: CyndiLauper Pets: Cats and Ducks

25 Dec 2020, 8:51 am

Joe90. You are most welcome to explore your feelings and thoughts. I do it all the time because part of the problem is trying to fathom what my feelings are as they can get "Stuck" or blttled up inside and I need to talk to find a way to release them. My Mum and I both do this when we are together as we can't do it with others we know... It is a bit like bouncing thoughts and ideas back and for to get the feelings to come out so we know what we are feeling and we can start to make sense of our feelings and thoughts?
We can't do tis with most other people because they either take offense or get the wrong message or assume we are saying something and implying something... It usually gets missinterpreted. (No ones fault. It is just how my Mum and I think and need to express ourselves).

So when I or my Mum goes quiet, something is wrong and we get a lot of mixed emotions which we are unable to express.

It is not that I am not able to identify the main emotions like sadness, happiness etc., but it is more that somehow there are feelings I can't get out without doing lots of talking and exploring, and many people will not understand this... So most of my life most of my thoughts and feelings have been bottled up which has been a bad thing.


_________________
Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200. Empathy 11/80. AQ 39.
Shutdown link: --》 Music I love: --》
Shutdown Experience similar to mine: --》