Anyone I don’t know well, I’m lucky to even manage to say anything understandable, so I get an F there (selective mutism in part caused by anxiety). When I am comfortable enough to speak, and am not entirely ignored, I probably get an average of D+. I’ve perfected the art of being invisible (which is what I’ve always done instead of “masking,” since I could never successfully do), the problem is that I don’t know how to turn that invisibility off anymore. But get me going on something and I usually end up doing the monologue thing. Pretty much all or nothing there. But I can read facial expressions that aren’t too subtle, I’m very good at seeing multiple sides of things. I’m also extremely concerned about upsetting anyone in any way, so rather than saying inappropriate or offensive things, I over-analyze before saying anything, and if I have any doubt about anything, I don’t say it, which can be a good thing or a bad thing. Basically I think I have a decent feel for things, but I don’t really know more than the basics of how to actually use that information.
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"