Happy being single but feeling pressure to find someone

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chris1989
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22 Mar 2022, 8:13 pm

I seem to think that if I was a woman in my early 30s, I would be feeling even more pressure to find a partner and start a family. I'm obviously not a woman but as a man I still feel as though there little time left to enjoy life as a singleton and that I ought to find someone at some point. I keep reminding myself of people especially in my family who didn't always have partners and got married straight away in their twenties. My uncle first got married to his ex-wife when he was 33 and my stepmum has a son who is 36 who isn't married but has been engaged for a few years to his partner who is the same age as him. Despite reminding myself of this, I still have these things playing in my head.



Pepe
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22 Mar 2022, 8:38 pm

Well, I'm in the last quarter of my life so being single suits me. 8)


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Joe90
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23 Mar 2022, 5:10 am

I feel the same with alcohol. I'm quite happy not intoxicating my body but cultural pressure makes me feel guilty about it.


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HighLlama
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23 Mar 2022, 5:16 am

chris1989 wrote:
I seem to think that if I was a woman in my early 30s, I would be feeling even more pressure to find a partner and start a family. I'm obviously not a woman but as a man I still feel as though there little time left to enjoy life as a singleton and that I ought to find someone at some point. I keep reminding myself of people especially in my family who didn't always have partners and got married straight away in their twenties. My uncle first got married to his ex-wife when he was 33 and my stepmum has a son who is 36 who isn't married but has been engaged for a few years to his partner who is the same age as him. Despite reminding myself of this, I still have these things playing in my head.


Society puts that pressure on people because if you're happy making a choice most people don't, they worry they have made the wrong one. Or fear you are judging them. These opinions are worthless.

It's better to look at what women you want, if any. Pressure to couple will just make bad partnerships. Instead, I focus on: is she funny; thought-provoking; does she ask about me, or take an interest in me as a person? Does she pursue what enlivens her? That will lead to real partnership, if you desire it.

Even here, in neuro "diverse" land, most posters are focused on what you can give a woman without considering the opposite. But, you weren't born to serve, right?