Does anyone else feel like they never grew up properly?

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08 Sep 2022, 5:48 pm

I'm 31 now, and everything feels the same as it did when I was a teenager. I still have child-like interests like cartoons, Nintendo video games and anime. I kept telling myself something would change once I hit my mid-20's or so but it never did.



Joe90
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08 Sep 2022, 6:00 pm

I feel I've finally grown up since I reached 30. When I was a teenager I often acted like a toddler (emotionally), and when I was in my early 20s I acted like a child when I had outbursts, or a moody teenager when I had mood swings.


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08 Sep 2022, 6:01 pm

Does anyone else feel like they never grew up properly?

I'm emotionally stuck at the age of past trauma.


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08 Sep 2022, 6:14 pm

What's wrong with still having child-like interests? Sure, we all have to do responsible things for out benefit, but it's still as much of a benefit to still have our interests we've had in our youth.

...And I am still the same.~



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08 Sep 2022, 8:07 pm

I'm sure I hadn't.

I still feel the same type of tension of consciously holding back/try ignoring my rage of emotions.
Whatever it is, it's a fricking poisonous 'narcissist' inside me since I've been 5. I need an exorcism.

It never went better, it became worse because rationally, my emotions ARE wrong in wrong time and wrong places. My circumstances cannot explain, autism diagnosis cannot explain.

The only times I never have to deal with that are simply the best days of my life, like I feel like myself -- matching my emotional and mental age with my physically and chronological age.


No issues with childlike interests.
I just don't see that as a basis of immaturity, no different than not seeing interests in innuendos and sex as a basis of maturity.

Self help is no issue.
But the whens and when not tos? It doesn't happen unless I'm myself, actually myself than the dysfunctional state since around puberty.


But otherwise?
My usual feels barely a teenager or so. Like 10 years off than it should. Except when that irrational half is not lugging the stupid baggage.


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HeroOfHyrule
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08 Sep 2022, 9:49 pm

I'm 21 and everything feels pretty much the same as when I was 11-12. My interests, personality, perception of things, etc. haven't changed. It's weird to think about the fact that I'm an "adult" now because I don't feel like an "adult".



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08 Sep 2022, 10:12 pm

I'm 47 and I still cry from time to time. I have a friend who calls me Big Baby Schultz because of it.


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08 Sep 2022, 11:04 pm

I was a free-range kid, in charge of my own development. I'd started turning hobbies into paying jobs before I was 20. I have not always been the most efficient at being an adult, but I've muddled through and built some good memories. There are still a lot of grown-uppy things I've never done.



klanka
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09 Sep 2022, 8:08 am

I let go of a few child like hobbies. But only within the past four years



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09 Sep 2022, 8:19 am

Who's to say what growing up properly should look like? People have different views on that. Some folks think that anybody over the age of 30 is too old to perform in a rock band, and just looks silly and immature if they try. But without music I'd have practically no social life at all, and I rather like rock music.

I think the problem comes when people have rigid ideas of what "age-appropriate" should mean. That kind of prejudice once seemed more common than it is these days. As far as I'm concerned, if you're doing no harm then I have no objections to what you're doing, and I wouldn't have the cheek to try to stop you. There is this phrase "you're old enough to know better" - but I'd rather it was reserved for things where it's objectively clear what's so bad about what you're doing.

So I think I grew up "properly" enough. In fact I sometimes wish I were more childlike than I've become. It was always my childlike enthusiasm and strong emotions that made my life more colourful, interesting and happy. I suppose I'm a rather sensible, "mature" person these days. But frankly it's a somewhat boring existence. When my son was a child, his childlike outlook used to kind of rejuvenate me.



Lady Strange
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10 Sep 2022, 6:12 pm

Yeah I still haven't "grown up" in ways, heck I still sleep with stuffed animals that I treat like they are alive. Also tend to like interests that wouldn't be considered typical adult, but more of someone younger.



TimS1980
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10 Sep 2022, 9:55 pm

When I was 30 I was much closer to teenage-self than my current 42 year old self.

Lots of years insulated, gaming, doing what works for me.

I've grown much more in the past several years, raising kids, dealing with having a wife showing signs of a personality disorder, working and burning out.

I don't recommend following that as a model, at least even odds I'd have killed myself along the way, it was just too taxing and dangerous.

What I think I learned is that we need a mix of old-school toughness and contemporary self care.

Willingness to put ourselves in situations that stretch us is important. Just as important is willingness to expect kindness towards ourselves and from those around us.


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11 Sep 2022, 12:42 am

I feel very similarly, but I have always been a... Oh what's the word, well, overly self-confident. So I tend to think that I'm right and everyone else is wrong.
Now that I have kids, I love sharing all of the kid things I still love with them, like riding bikes or painting or playing games... Too bad mom also likes homework :)



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12 Sep 2022, 1:01 pm

I'd also rather wear things that I like, instead of things that people my age are supposed to be wearing. I also buy Hot Wheels.


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Radish
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12 Sep 2022, 1:12 pm

I'm 62 going on 20 sometimes. I've only just finished playing Fallout 4 on the PS4. I'm learning to fly a microlight aircraft. I love to mess around in Off The Wall on WP. Emotionally I don't think I'm much older than 16! :lol:


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12 Sep 2022, 2:03 pm

In lots of ways I'm like my teenage self (the love of alcohol) but I have a lot more knowledge of life now. Mainly from using the internet. I still like comforting soft toys though (Mr L E Phant my McDonalds rescue toy is my favourite).


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