Worst Scenario

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I think I have the worst scenario I could get in finding someone to start a relationship with, even a long-distance one.

Now, bear with me, because I'm just tipping the dump truck over with this one.

I'm a compulsive perfectionist, so projects are incredibly hard for me to complete because I'm never satisfied with my content and keep editing it (peddling, like Bob Ross would say). I have ADHD, Aspergers, and an intense interest in limited things. I'm a content creator that focuses on NSFW material, so people ask me about my job, and I literally can't say much without risking sounding unprofessional.

Add in also that I sound like a snob because of how much I read and study and I constantly correct people about certain subjects if I have documented proof that they're wrong. I live in the middle of old-people land Florida, joined several Geek-oriented dating sites, and could not find a soul that lives within a hundred miles of me, and, due to perceptions created through social media, the minute I would try to approach female content creators who also have similar interests to me, my attempts at communication would almost definitely be viewed as creepy at least, maybe even predatory at worst.

That's counting on actually finding a woman on any of these platforms, and not a guy or someone trans who has a female-named account. I have no problem with people who are homosexual or want a gender change, but my preference is heterosexual, which apparently makes me demonized, in addition to being a young, awkward white male.

Also, the fandom that I am part of views me as a weirdo among weirdos: I create pretty niche-oriented content that blends popular culture with more obscure markets. I'm on the fence between two worlds and cannot master either of them.

I have no problem being charismatic and part of a group when I actually find that group. In fact: my reputation has been in line with that of a thought-leader among many of my peers in the past. The problem is, I can't find my tribe in the first place, or even just 1 person that I would risk opening up to. I'm incredibly private, and I speak with almost no one online because I'm tired of getting hurt. I had a discord community of hundreds of people that showed up just for my content, and I deleted the community because I could not cope with what some of them were saying or how they viewed things. I'm isolated and it isn't healthy. There's something unfulfilling in never being able to console in a significant other, even long distance, with all this weight on my back. I haven't had a relationship in over 4 years since I graduated college before the pandemic, and it's been so long that I have even fewer chances because I'm rusty.

What would you do? Where would you go to find someone? 'Cause I can't figure it out, and society doesn't make the answer easy.

I get that it can be frustrating but you gotta get out of your head. We (meaning those of us with autism and/or ADHD) do this thing called "spiraling" where when we're feeling bitter or upset we tend to just harp on the issue in our brains and we can't stop thinking about it, and feel frustrated and angry there feels like there aren't any solutions. This was me last week about a different issue from yours (feeling extremely burnt out with working) so I know how it feels. Don't focus on it and get social support/interaction in other ways (like maybe a discord that's not focused on something that would stress you out if it is so closely tied into your identity). I found a lot of great online friends through this community, actually. Also, when you are in a relationship your partner shouldn't be treated like your therapist/emotional dumping ground. I've lost a couple of relationships this way. My partners felt like I was constantly complaining and heaping too much on them emotionally - so you've really gotta reframe your mindset and think about what you really want from a relationship. I definitely understand some of the things my ex's said now; looking back, I wouldn't want to be constantly overloaded by my partner's problems either. I know this isn't what you were asking for with your post, but I have seen a lot of people go through this and it backfired. I hope things work out for you!

Also, as difficult as it is, you have to stop correcting people... They don't like it. Keep it to yourself unless it's like, a life or death situation. I've learned this too. Lol