Hiding diagnosis from NT girls

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__Elijahahahaho
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02 Jun 2024, 3:53 am

I think your girlfriend will definitely "know" you better than you think,
it is not usually realistic to mask your actual traits, which she will probably love you for anyway,
it's always the small cute imperfections.

You can hide the piece of paper, which might be wise, since it removes any bias' she might have,
she will come to know you as you are!

Tony Attwood has a story about a diagnosis he removed so that someone could get work on a submarine,
because he could see that basically the patient had advanced highly in their social skills, and it would not
impeed the work, so he helped with the bureacratic hurdle.

This shows that really a "paper diagnosis" is not set in stone and can be sort of used here and there, but
who you physically are is pretty unchangeable.



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02 Jun 2024, 6:48 am

__Elijahahahaho wrote:
I think your girlfriend will definitely "know" you better than you think,
it is not usually realistic to mask your actual traits, which she will probably love you for anyway,
it's always the small cute imperfections.

I don’t know about that. I have told girls in casual conversation that I’m autistic, and then they stop talking to me.



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02 Jun 2024, 7:00 am

Yeah you've had bad experiences with women that's clear to see


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02 Jun 2024, 8:32 am

FrostBender wrote:
__Elijahahahaho wrote:
I think your girlfriend will definitely "know" you better than you think,
it is not usually realistic to mask your actual traits, which she will probably love you for anyway,
it's always the small cute imperfections.

I don’t know about that. I have told girls in casual conversation that I’m autistic, and then they stop talking to me.

Correlation doesn’t necessarily equal causation. They might have quit talking to you for other reasons.


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nick007
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02 Jun 2024, 8:42 am

I'm not reading 11 pages of replies but just in case this hasn't been suggested yet, you could say that you have other various disorders to explain your behavior instead of saying your autistic. Some disorders are more accepted & understood than autism. Where I'm originally from even the so-called experts tend to think of autism as a less sever form of mental retardation so lots of autistics including me are more likely to be diagnosed with a few various comorbids than autism. Like say you have OCD, anxiety, depression, &/or ADHD.


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02 Jun 2024, 9:07 am

Yeah that's how I feel about it too

Like my bf knew about other things about me but I felt no need to let him know about the autism. It's too complicated and I'm not all that interested in talking about it to people and it has no bearing on our relationship either

My ptsd however could have posed a problem because that was really serious a few years ago so he knew about that. My adhd also because that affects my behaviour sometimes but I didn't feel the need to tell him about aspergers or autism


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__Elijahahahaho
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02 Jun 2024, 9:16 am

FrostBender wrote:
__Elijahahahaho wrote:
I think your girlfriend will definitely "know" you better than you think,
it is not usually realistic to mask your actual traits, which she will probably love you for anyway,
it's always the small cute imperfections.

I don’t know about that. I have told girls in casual conversation that I’m autistic, and then they stop talking to me.


Firstly, they are clearly abelist and so probably good riddance.
But I mean they will know the "general character of you", because thats what NTs do well,
so the label itself isn't really useful in my opinion if they are honest about respecting and caring about you.

.... Idk now that I think about that I am being a bit optimistic, I suppose some accommodations are hard
to get.



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02 Jun 2024, 9:22 am

An absolute fear of rejection and abandonment and suicidal thoughts is also a symptom of bpd and that is definitely something that will drive a partner away if you don't get help for it

I wish you well op I really do


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02 Jun 2024, 10:45 am

if you need to see a doc regarding autism...or diagnosis,,might ought to , Only , Pay Cash .. And do not use that sane doc for anything else if it can be helped .. As long as you do not ( yet) need public assistance . If you keep your dx private then it makes it harder to have easy access to your records .


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02 Jun 2024, 11:42 am

funeralxempire wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
NT women love guys who don't lie.

NTs lie too


They still don't like being lied to. People always excuse their own sh***y behaviour more than they'll accept the same behaviour from others.

My store manager is finding out just how much work I was doing when she thought it would be a great idea to stiff me for my bonus for managing the department through a particularly challenging period. She wasn't even okay with me filling it my paperwork in a way that she didn't approve of, even if it was the correct way.

I can only imagine how she would have felt about me lying to her.



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02 Jun 2024, 6:28 pm

honeytoast wrote:
Nothing is more attractive than accepting who you are.

MTV Spring Break is a reality show that is edited. If you saw the actual true footage that isn't shown you'd probably change your mind.

Many "reality" shows in general are a bunch of baloney, really. Manipulative, pretentious, or both. :roll: