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Delta56
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14 Dec 2008, 6:47 pm

So lately me and my g/f have started to lose the spark in our relationship. We both enjoy each other's company and love each other very much, but we're both almost... bored with the relationship. We've tried spicing up the relationship through daily actions (like, going out to eat and talk) and even in the bedroom (won't go into details on that) with no avail.

She doesn't have AS, but she does have Social Anxiety Disorder and its becoming more and more clear that I have AS (only suspected before) so talking about it with each other becomes difficult. This elephant in the room is getting worse everyday, and was wondering if WP has some advice/experience in this region.



Last edited by Delta56 on 14 Dec 2008, 7:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

pakled
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14 Dec 2008, 7:14 pm

well, there should be a way to talk about the elephant. You're the man on the scene, so you should be able to know how far and fast you should go about discussing it.

Maybe you can explore what she sees in the relationship, what she likes about it. It may not be you, it may be her, it may be a little of both.

hope it works out.



Delta56
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14 Dec 2008, 7:58 pm

Thanks Pakled.

One would think after two years we'd know how to talk each other about problems we have.



Delta56
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10 Jan 2009, 9:12 pm

Well, I apologize for the Necroposting, but I figure it would be better than making a whole new thread dedicated to this same problem.

Its been almost a month since I started the thread and the problem is getting... marginally worst. We're communicating more, but hating it at the same time. She feels like she isn't taking care of some one she loves, but just a needy kid (danger will robinson! Abandon ship!) and I personally feel like a let down to her because of the very same reasons. Its not like I can move back out and try to restart from a distance. All my family is out of town and none of my friends can keep their own place running/live with their own folks.

When do I call it enough? Is there a point when its only hurting both of us but we still hold on for the sake of stability?



CerebralDreamer
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10 Jan 2009, 10:01 pm

Delta56 wrote:
Well, I apologize for the Necroposting, but I figure it would be better than making a whole new thread dedicated to this same problem.

Its been almost a month since I started the thread and the problem is getting... marginally worst. We're communicating more, but hating it at the same time. She feels like she isn't taking care of some one she loves, but just a needy kid (danger will robinson! Abandon ship!) and I personally feel like a let down to her because of the very same reasons. Its not like I can move back out and try to restart from a distance. All my family is out of town and none of my friends can keep their own place running/live with their own folks.

When do I call it enough? Is there a point when its only hurting both of us but we still hold on for the sake of stability?

Why have you not seen a relationship counselor yet? People always seem to assume that they can work this stuff out on their own, when the reality is, often it is just not doable. A major issue with that is people don't share their problems like they should.



Delta56
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10 Jan 2009, 11:08 pm

CerebralDreamer wrote:
Why have you not seen a relationship counselor yet? People always seem to assume that they can work this stuff out on their own, when the reality is, often it is just not doable. A major issue with that is people don't share their problems like they should.


We don't really know where to find one, we're short on cash, and I think she believes we don't need one. I'll see with her what she really wants.

Thanks Cerebral.



NeantHumain
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10 Jan 2009, 11:30 pm

Add some spontaneity. Do something crazy. Make her think you're clinically psychotic.



Kilroy
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11 Jan 2009, 12:10 am

well most people are single and always have been
your not gonna get a while Lotta advise loll