Does "losing my virginity" make me "more of a man?"

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chris1989
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13 May 2025, 2:25 pm

I've so far haven't lost my virginity but I can't understand why people are in some ways pressured to lose it at a certain age. There have been times when I've felt bad because I hadn't had that experience while at the same time sometimes worrying about STIs despite knowing that you can use protection. I don't know how I would feel any different if I did lose it right now or that it would somehow make a "changed" man because of it and I'll be happier than I am now.



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 May 2025, 2:33 pm

No one cares man.

Not even your future girlfriend would care.



funeralxempire
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13 May 2025, 3:20 pm

Only if all of your friends are still in high school.


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Mikurotoro92
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13 May 2025, 7:07 pm

Lol I had sex (lost my virginity) and I don't feel like a changed woman

In that sense, sex is overrated because people place SO MUCH stock & emphasis on it!

The things that would actually make me feel "more like a woman" are as follows...

-Getting a good job/career

-Learning how to drive

Getting to wear a fancy dress at an event (I will get my chance for this on wedding day!! !)

-Saving up money for a vacation to a foreign country

-Piercing my ears

And finally...

-Getting married and becoming a mother!

Notice how sex was NOT mentioned in that entire list yet motherhood was?

That's because even though penetrative sex is what leads to it, it is the actual process of becoming a parent that causes you to become more of a man or woman!! !



Coilette_91
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13 May 2025, 7:50 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Lol I had sex (lost my virginity) and I don't feel like a changed woman

In that sense, sex is overrated because people place SO MUCH stock & emphasis on it!

The things that would actually make me feel "more like a woman" are as follows...

-Getting a good job/career

-Learning how to drive

Getting to wear a fancy dress at an event (I will get my chance for this on wedding day!! !)

-Saving up money for a vacation to a foreign country

-Piercing my ears

And finally...

-Getting married and becoming a mother!

Notice how sex was NOT mentioned in that entire list yet motherhood was?

That's because even though penetrative sex is what leads to it, it is the actual process of becoming a parent that causes you to become more of a man or woman!! !


That's not a very fair assessment. Being a parent shouldn't make someone more a man or woman. There are plenty of people, myself included, that don't want to have children at all whatsoever. So because of that that me less of a woman?



uncommondenominator
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13 May 2025, 8:14 pm

As nice as it would be if "becoming a parent" made someone "more of a man / woman", the reality is, it's no guarantee.

Family courts are full of men and women who most definitely did not become "more of a man / woman" simply cos they had a kid.

Having sex, "losing virginity" and even "having kids" just makes you exactly who you were before, but now you've done that other thing, too.



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14 May 2025, 1:19 am

Coilette_91 wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Lol I had sex (lost my virginity) and I don't feel like a changed woman

In that sense, sex is overrated because people place SO MUCH stock & emphasis on it!

The things that would actually make me feel "more like a woman" are as follows...

-Getting a good job/career

-Learning how to drive

Getting to wear a fancy dress at an event (I will get my chance for this on wedding day!! !)

-Saving up money for a vacation to a foreign country

-Piercing my ears

And finally...

-Getting married and becoming a mother!

Notice how sex was NOT mentioned in that entire list yet motherhood was?

That's because even though penetrative sex is what leads to it, it is the actual process of becoming a parent that causes you to become more of a man or woman!! !


That's not a very fair assessment. Being a parent shouldn't make someone more a man or woman. There are plenty of people, myself included, that don't want to have children at all whatsoever. So because of that that me less of a woman?


It'll what make her feel like a woman, not necessarily others.



nick007
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14 May 2025, 8:01 am

Some other people might conser you to be more of a man for losing your V-card during your high-school years but I highly doubt they'd suddenly consider you a man if they know you were to have sex for your first time today. They'd think you'd have to screw a lot more than that in order to catch up. I don't think I'd ever know what being a man would feel like even if I was having sex a lot more but I do not want to be a man. I associate being a man with acting like a macho jerk.


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Escape1894
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14 May 2025, 1:12 pm

It won’t make you more of a man but having sex is a pretty important milestone for everybody. More important than people want to admit. It’s highly unusual for anyone to be 30+ and still be a virgin.



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14 May 2025, 1:23 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Lol I had sex (lost my virginity) and I don't feel like a changed woman

In that sense, sex is overrated because people place SO MUCH stock & emphasis on it!

The things that would actually make me feel "more like a woman" are as follows...

-Getting a good job/career

-Learning how to drive

Getting to wear a fancy dress at an event (I will get my chance for this on wedding day!! !)

-Saving up money for a vacation to a foreign country

-Piercing my ears

And finally...

-Getting married and becoming a mother!

Notice how sex was NOT mentioned in that entire list yet motherhood was?

That's because even though penetrative sex is what leads to it, it is the actual process of becoming a parent that causes you to become more of a man or woman!! !



If sex was truly overrated, then everybody wants some would easily be able to get it. But since we know that’s not the case, we really can’t say that sex is overrated.



MaxE
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14 May 2025, 4:06 pm

Depends on your definition of "being a man". If that means being something akin to a barbarian warrior, simply having had sex won't help much. However having sex with a consenting woman, who is then ready to consent to additional encounters, is highly validating.


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Tim_Tex
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20 May 2025, 5:34 pm

No


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CapedOwl
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07 Jun 2025, 12:06 am

I, for one, think Syrian culture has the best definition of "what it takes to be a man": can you win the love of a child?


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lostonearth35
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07 Jun 2025, 12:15 am

I guess I'll never be more of a woman because I have no desire to marry, have kids, or wear a fancy dress to a life-changing event. The life-changing event will involve my having to wear a hospital gown and something to cover my head when my hair falls out because I just know I have ear tumors.



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07 Jun 2025, 12:52 am

chris1989 wrote:
I've so far haven't lost my virginity but I can't understand why people are in some ways pressured to lose it at a certain age. There have been times when I've felt bad because I hadn't had that experience while at the same time sometimes worrying about STIs despite knowing that you can use protection. I don't know how I would feel any different if I did lose it right now or that it would somehow make a "changed" man because of it and I'll be happier than I am now.


virginity is not all of what it is chalked up to be, and thus losing it is not all of what its chalked up to be either. For most people their first time is awkward and probably not all of what they had hoped for. But yeah i don't think losing virginity or not really pertains to whether one is more of a woman or man after losing it.


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CapedOwl
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07 Jun 2025, 1:02 am

I would say that losing one's virginity doesn't really mean anything on its own - like one is more of a man. To my mind it's 100x moreso the case "ok, but what new dimension of this relationship has opened up?" The context is with the sexual partner, not what outsiders would now credit you for.


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