So in what ways can you, not relate to people?

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It is often said autistics find it difficult to relate to others. So I am just wondering, for you what are those particular ways?

Personally I cannot understand why people are willing to divulge their inner thoughts and feelings and expose them to others. Whats in my head, stays in my head unless its something I know a lot of information about (like a particular interest, etc.) Viewing others who seem to speak their mind and want to be actively involved in their environment makes me feel different when being amongst them. There are a few other reasons, but I'll leave it at that.

So what is it for you that seems to make you feel more alien when amongst people?

people do not understand what I say even though it is clear as day to me.

Oh, I can understand them all right.

If they explain something to me it totally makes sense to me, yeah.

I even am really good at explaining why (normal) people made decisions or why they did what they did!

Really good.


It's just that I totally fail at spontaneously trying to answer the same as them or feeling remotely the same as them.

If you'd tell me 'well, explain that like all your peers would' then how I am going to it isn't even close to how they'll do it.

That was always most noticeable in assignments and exams. I never wrote what others wrote. I was the only one who totally talks about something totally different or talked about similar things but in a totally different way so that I got lots of D-s and Es and Fs.

Also, when people feel something I usually don't feel that.

People don't seem to understand my obsessions, often people can not understand what I'm saying either. To me I could be saying it perfectly fine, but then they ask me to say it again but more slowly.

I've never met anybody I could understand.

- I don't understand all this interest in small talk, or in going out in the evenings.
- I don't understand how anybody could want to have children.
- I don't understand the desire for a career (as opposed to interest in a professional activity).
- I don't understand how anybody can smoke or drink coffee.
- I don't understand shopaholics.
- I don't understand how anyone can be interested in sports, or identify with a team.

...I could go on all day...

I can relate to most things, but some things, like talking about who's going out with who, or who screwed who, I could care less about. That and "drama" that little girls and even guys get into. Drama is a friggin genre of TV show....

There are lots of things that I don't understand.

The thing about being expected to be interested in the actions of someone that you don't know and don't care about (the whole celebrity thing - some people seem to have nothing else to talk about...).
The part where I'm expected to know what someone is thinking or feeling without them telling me (really, I have no idea. Just tell me!).
How people always assume I have an ulterior motive for doing or saying something (I don't play mind games - I don't understand them).
The part where I am expected to sit there and pay attention to someone who is telling me (in great detail, mind you) about whatever the baby/partner/dog did the other night when I have already explained to them that I have absolutely no interest in babies whatsoever, I don't know the person they are talking about - so it's irrelevent - etc. and they get annoyed with me for starting to read/ do something useful.
This whole "unwritten rules" thing. How does everyone else just "know"? That doesn't make sense.
Why anyone would want to have kids... (I don't mind playing stepmom, so much, but the whole biological mother idea terrifies me!)
Why there are so many people that seem unable to process the idea that someone may hold a different view from them, and it might actually be valid!

And that's just for starters!

When people have a dry sense of humour, and talk to me as if I'll be able to respond in kind. When in reality, I'm lost.

I never seem to get how on TV programmes when they have their house decorated they start crying, or anything happy they start crying. It's rediculous the only time I'd cry if my house was decor'd was if I hated it, if I liked it I'd be jumping all over the walls with joy!
Or any time when people start crying at stupid times, or what I think are stupid anyway.

When people seem to feel the need to fake compliment someones hair do when they hate it, it's stupid I can always tell too. I'm thinking if you don't like my hair why don't you just day so I don't care! Stop saying it's nice when you obviously don't think it is. But it's a rule you have to follow, including me.

Also when people greet eachother doing that whole huggy huggy kissy on the cheek thing, and they don't even kiss them they just pucker their lips in mid air, wtf?

the whole bullying mentality - intimidating other people to get what you want. "He who shouts the loudest wins". I don't get it.