brother attempted suicide, i need support badly

Post Reply New Topic

during my teens I was also suicidal, mine came from an abusive home. I had no value for life, not my own nor anyone elses which made me kind of dangerous. I acted out in anger alot and hurt others and tried to kill myself. I was forced into a therapy group by my school due to my violent acting out and told it was this or expulsion from every NY public high school. Incredibly I was a good student and enjoyed learning. So I went to the group sessions, it was filled with kids just like me, I found solace in the fact that I was not alone and after a while looked forward to going and being allowed to say the things you could not really talk about anywhere else. One day our therapist with whom we met once a week took us on a trip to a hospital where we spent the afternoon on the childrens cancer ward. We were each given a child to spend the afternoon with, we were to play cards with them, read books to them, draw or color with them, basically be a part of whatever your child wanted to do. We were then brought back once a month to do the same. It really opened our eyes to spend time with four year olds who would never be five, or five year olds who would never be six, ect.... these kids really understood not only that they were terminal and dying but what was really meaningful and worthwhile about life. Often when we went back we would find that one of our kids had died. This program gave us all a sense of purpose, it changed my life. It also put my own problems into perspective, these kids were so brave and hopefull, they made me feel like a coward in comparison to them. Here I was born healthy enough to one day change my life yet I was willing to take the life that these children so bravely fought to keep. The rest as they say is history. I graduated H.S. and never forgot the children I met there who taught me the meaning of life. Since then I value life and live each day for all it is worth. Your parents should check with neighborhood hospitals and see if they have a program similar to this, it could be worth a try. Good luck to you and your brother and God bless.

It's horrible that we live in a world where people have good reasons to be afraid of their own identity. The persecution of homosexuals is the most glaring stupidity on Earth at the moment. And who's the culprit? Radical/fanatical members of RELIGION (I am aware that certain groups are "tolerant", although they shouldn't be tolerated, they should be ACCEPTED & EMBRACED)

Also the male species as a whole is very averse to homosexuality, due to mass sexual insecurity. I think we should accept homosexuals (and all persecuted groups for that matter) as comrades in this putrid cesspool we call life and just f***ing live it as fellow human beings!

Is that too much to ask?!

Hmmm....maybe we should work towards Aspie acceptance first...

You know, I recently read an article written by Jimmy Carter in which he essentially said that the people who call themselves Christians today would throw Jesus, himself, out of their house if he came and asked them for help and fellowship.

Interesting thought.

how did a topic about my severely depressed brother become one about homosexuality and how christians are bad people who don't accept anyone and would throw jesus out of the house? i'm sorry, but that's irrelevent. for one, if my brother were gay (which he is not but is a strong advocate for) i would not disown him or throw out of my house. he'd still be my brother and i'd still love him. oh and i'm a christian *gasp!* Who gives a damn if someone is gay, they are still a person and i don't have a right to judge what they're doing. that's for god to judge, so until he does, i'm going to love my brother, straight or gay, or anyone else for that matter.

I was just trying to make a suggestion to why he was motivated to commit suicide with no evidence of family abuse. Homosexual kids (especially males) go though unimaginable abuse from their peer in school.

yes, thanks, i understood your reasoning, and actually considered it carefully that he might be. what i felt was derailing the topic was janicka saying that christains don't accept homosexuals. i am a christain so while i might disagree with it, i would accept him either way. he has said some things in the past that led me to think he is gay, but he's had many gf's and no special boy friends that i can tell. i think he is just a very strong advocate for homosexuality, and i know this grates between him and my parents, among other things. so ya, in addition to probably feeling the black sheep of the family, he also has bipolar disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, or borderline personality disorder (diagnosed by therapist).

i wish this was an easier topic to talk about i defend my brother and family to the teeth so i always end up coming across rude on this thread or like i don't care about other's advice when i do.

I hope that he didn't take credit for being the first one to say that. I think that this topic has been effectively derailed.

[quote="jnet]what i felt was derailing the topic was janicka saying that christains don't accept homosexuals. i am a christain so while i might disagree with it, i would accept him either way. [/quote]

Actually remescen was the first one to say that. But I did reply to remescen's comment by adding my own two cents the hippocricy of some Christians. That is some, not all. I'm with you jnet - I consider myself to be Christian, but the so-called "Christian values" preached by some of the right-wing segments of Christianity make me want to vomit.

Now, back to the topic at hand. Homosexuality has been done to death in this thread. It just seemed like the obvious question to ask under the circumstances. Other things to consider - are there any addictions? Not just drugs, but also gambling or overspending could be a huge problem. I actually know a compulsive gambler who has attempted suicide a number of times. Is he having problems with bullies at school? Is he having some abusive or destructive relationship with someone he met over the net?

You sound like you come from a loving family and stable household, so I'd start looking for problems that he could be having outside of the home.

I hope everything turns out okay.. Good luck.

Isn't this a bit of a generalisation? Depression is not invariably caused by abuse, or any other form of betrayal. Sometimes it may not appear to have a simple explanation at all.

I'm willing to bet that what I said is the case better than 9 out of 10 times.

I knew someone who used to cut.

Then I read this book:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cutting-Underst ... F8&s=books

and things became more clear, and help is possible.

When someone is diagnosed AS, they (or their parents) often read large amounts about AS
from books. This is so that they can understand. There is no reason why you cannot do this
for your brother. If you want to help him and understand, and then read whatever you can
find on the subject.

Wishing your brother the best.

J

Thanks for the book suggestion! That advice to read as much as i can to try to understand what it is he is going through is probably the most helpful advice i have received on this thread so far. I hadn't thought of doing this. But it makes sense now bc of your analogy to reading as much as i can on AS (which i have read a very large volume of information on). I will definitely try to read more on cutting. I'll start by trying to find the book you suggested. Again, thank you.