"Mistakes Introverts Make"

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I felt the article was quite "bigoted" against introverts. There is a lot more to being introverted than just being an introvert.

It's the way I have been treated by many NT extroverts that have helped to make me the introvert I am.

She's, umm, very NT, isn't she? Quite the gad-about and doubtless the life & soul of the party.
Apparently all we need to do is dust ourselves down, slap on a happy smile and get our social gears cranking.
See? It's easy if you try.

Righty-ho...

It read like a rather long-winded "Come and join in! You'll have so much fun! Don't be so boring!"

The only "mistake" is doing things that make you unhappy. I'm old enough to know now what doesn't make me happy, or makes me happy (if I can ever be said to be in such a state).

The article implies, like all positive thinking twaddle, that with a little more effort and a big grin on your face you'll enjoy the "Happy Life™". You just need to conquer your fears! Yeah, right.

I think the problem of the article is more the title than the content - introverts have , indeed some traits that could become dysfunctional, but this traits are not "mistakes" (in the sense of a thing that we made by error).

I think y'all are running this through some funky cognitive filters here, guys.

In no way is it saying introverts are twits, or be an extrovert or NT.

Let me break down what it says simply.

1. We all can use at least a little socialisation.

2. Never returning phone calls is a bad idea.

3. Plunging straight into conversations of depth is often not the best idea. Most people do need a little social lubrication.

4. Don't monologue.

5. There's a difference between introversion and avoidance.

6. Some introverts don't mind parties or don't think they are a total waste of time. Don't dismiss what extroverts like out of hand.

Tada!

Yeah, exactly - and to that extent it's both simplistic and patronising.

That article makes me want to stay home even more.

I am amused by the "black and white" responses lol.. Its either horribly patronising or accurately useful depending on people outlook..
Personally, rather than looking at it as a "Hey introverts, stop being so introverted" statement, I would think its more of a "being introverted is ok, but humans are social animals, and if you actually want to socialise occasionally without people looking at you like you have two heads, here are some tips"

I like being introverted but due to having a child and studying and wanting to maybe occasionally meet (interesting) new people, socialisation is a necessary evil and it would be much less unpleasant if people didn't get that bad first impression...

BTW thats my favorite website Lots of fascinating blogs and articles on so many subjects!

Great website! I have mild AS, but I'm very introverted. I make most of those mistakes. listed (the babble included- so glad I'm not the only one) I also read through some of her other articles and they're really good.

One thing kind of upset me; she describes a women who told her family she was an Introvert (loving how it's almost treated like coming out of the closet ) and her brother replied 'oh, all those years, we just though you were a b***h'.... I'm now worried that this is how people see me

I got a whiff of bigotry from the style of the article, but the basic ideas might be useful for some folks. It's basically saying "don't get so carried away with your inner self that you lose all your friends." It's likely to annoy Aspies because it doesn't make any allowance for brain wiring, it assumes that it's just a matter of making a bit more effort.

+1

There is some truth to this. I have these problems because I live on campus at my college. The urge to run away from people and hide is getting too strong to resist becasue of all the mandatory face time, like smalltalk in the corridors, so the socialization I end up avoiding is time with friends, which is making me isolated. The line is so hard to walk that I want to stop living in the dorm and move home.

If you're perfect, why read anything ever again?

^^ To laugh in the face of mere mortals, and cackle at their puny problems. Mwahahaha... <twirls moustache, swirls cape etc>

Whoops, dunno how that first period got in there.

I wouldn't say I'm perfect, although I'm perfectly happy with how I currently am. Why read? Because I love learning.

I didn't read bigotry from the article. The writer seems to me to be writing about what works for her, and perhaps overgeneralizing in the way she advises others to do similarly.

The thing is that she is criticizing behavior that for many of us is ego syntonic, which is to say it's consistent with self-perception and worldview, and who wants to change the stuff we feel works for us?

I see what she's saying, although I'm unlikely to change many of my behaviors soon. Some of her advice I've already come up with on my own (like don't infodump people or get super deep super fast) but others I really have no interest or care for.

I don't think there's specifically anything wrong with many of the things she advises against, so I don't see the point of not doing them.

Last edited by Verdandi on 16 Feb 2011, 3:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.