not convinced I have Asperger's

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That's not a symptom of Asperger's or any form of autism, although they might be commonly seen together.



That could mean something, but there could be any number of other reasons. In fact, there probably are.



Keyword: Hear. People with Asperger's are not necessarily indifferent to suffering, they just don't always pick up on it, they can't always identify what's wrong, or they may just have a hard time demonstrating empathy ('sympathy' is a much more appropriate term.). Or, they may just be like the NTs in that regard.



People with Asperger's can sugercoat just like everyone else, but it's a conscious effort. Give an aspie a beer and you'll get the truth in its ugliest form.

I'm not an expert, and there are too many experts out there for you be listening to me.

I used to sugarcoat the truth about my existence, until I came to my turning point, early last February. I used to convince everybody, that I was a mild-natured Swinger. That caught up with me, in the end. I also feel empathy for others, but that empathy is genuine.

Empathy relates to feeling the emotions of others when you haven't experienced the event itself; sympathy is feeling the emotions of others for you've been to someplace similar.

Everyone with an ASD will experience problems with empathy when viewing "normal" people, it comes with the disorder; empathy is a social construct, i.e., it aids the group as the group can be riled up with a set feeling to a set event, and they'll all respond in a similar way for they feel the same way.

We're blunt for we don't care about social graces, i.e., why would the truth hurt someone? When you see an individual with AS point out a socially inappropriate fact, it's not because they want to make people uncomfortable, it's that they cannot see how it'd make others uncomfortable.

If you're wrong, I'll tell you that you're wrong, and I'll show you why without a care for your feelings.

Asperger's is (above all else):
* severe social impairment (from being unable to interact at all with your peers to having a few select friends who you can interact with, as no one else can understand or accept your nuances)
* fixation on a set topic (from excluding everything else at the expense of this pursuit to not meeting your cognitive potential in academic pursuits for you're thinking about your interest nonstop)

Daniel, you are very right. I have apparently been using the word empathy very wrongly for a while now (or at least very creatively).

Aspergers is not always marked by a marked obsession on a fixed topic. There are aspies with processing, social and sensory probs without the special interests.

I think a diagnosis is a good idea if a person is unsure- a good way to clear up the mystery.

I personally am not in a hurry to get one though- I dont feel at all similar to NTs in my worldview, behaviour etc. Not that there is anything wrong with them, but im just not similar to them.

Strangely, I tell the truth in its ugliest form when I am sober. It is when I am drunk that I am more laid back and relaxed and drowsy and I dont say bad things as much because Im not thinking about bad things.

I know some aspies though who are usually very high functioning and lose all their acquired social skills while drunk though...

That's an interesting subject for another topic: How does your AS mix with alcohol?

I was kind of joking about that last thing, but it seems like Asperger's isn't so much about not being able to candycoat things, but having to put so much conscious effort into just learning how to not be offensive that it's just not worth it.

They're usually given the PDD-NOS label (or "ASD" by those who aren't experts in the field, remedial teachers for example).

You'll find that most people who have genuine Asperger's, will have an all-absorbing narrow interest; Gillberg's AS criteria requires such, and it's far closer to Asperger's original work than the DSM-IV-TR (even though if you read in the differential diagnosis section, it'll tell you that most people with Asperger's have the all-absorbing interest).

Last edited by Danielismyname on 25 Feb 2008, 7:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

Then I wish I had NO empathy. I sometimes feel things that logically shouldn't be felt, etc... based on how the other person reacts/relates. Sometimes it defies logic, and I just want to be away from the area.

I try to be empathic but it's hard.

When I am around another person, my 'energy', as such, can be quickly raised or lowered by the mood they give off. If someone I am around is in a negative mood, I will feel strangely responsible for changing that. I sometimes avoid the situation so I won't have to experience it. I jokingly call myself an empath.

Is it due to their behavior, their tone of voice, a "change" in them? Perhaps you may feel responsible for you're unable to find the real reason for why their mood is how it is.

This isn't empathy if that's the reason, this is noticing the mood of others, and those with ASDs are sensitive to the exhibited moods of others (like those with schizophrenia). For example, I get stressed inside when I hear an argument between people, if I hear anxiety in the voice of those I care for (I pickup "social" cues from those I know), and what have you.

I know 2 girls with Aspergers diagnoses, one who has almost no social reasoning at all.. neither of them seem to have special interests.

Most aspies I have met do have the interests though.

Yeah, that's more like it. I also have a weak conscience and a save-the-world complex. Maybe my empathy comes from the knowledge that I am not truly empathetic, and therefore must be extremely empathetic to mask that knowledge.

Not all people with AS, exhibit every single trait..

Yeah, that'as very true. Asperger's Syndrome is not defined by having the sum of all the symptoms, but by having what all of those symptoms have in common (which I'm not necessarily adequate to define). That's why discovering this was so different from discovering, say, ADHD. I didn't see the diagnostic criteria, say to myself, "This is an interesting disorder, I wonder if I have it". Instead, I read about it, just got it, and thought, "Amazing...I never knew there was a label for all of that". And so the label just stuck. I can explain why I have some symptoms and not others.