It depends. The other week when I was speaking to a man I have a crush on, I found I was speaking too quietly because he kept not quite catching what I was saying, and normally he's a pretty good listener and hears pretty well. I just kept mumbling. It was probably because I felt shy, because we exchanged Christmas cards and I felt a bit embarrassed (but in a nice way).
On the other hand, I can speak too loudly in the wrong context (which is mostly what I do
). I speak too quietly when I should be free to speak louder, and I speak too loudly when I'm somewhere where I should lower my voice a bit. My friend is a very paranoid person, and she doesn't like talking loud in her front room, just in case her next door neighbour hears, even if we're not talking about anything private. But I usually forget and I stand there in the front room almost talking at the top of my voice (without meaning to), and she often starts flapping and points to the wall, which is a non-verbal warning which I know means, ''sshhhh - next door!'' It's annoying really, I mean, as if her neighbour (who works full time) stands there with her ear to the wall listening out for everything my friend does all day. But, everybody has their quirks, so I just let her be paranoid.
This is where self-hatred feelings come into play. I absolutely loathe being told to shhh, and when I do I can't help but feel uncomfortable and embarrassed afterwards. When I was younger I used to shout out inappropriate things in the street, not literally shout but just say it like I didn't care, sort of thing. Like once I mentioned my private bit but the ruder word for it when I was out in public like I didn't care (even though there was nobody around), and my auntie looked at my mum and said, ''ohh....'' and my mum said, ''I know - she doesn't care if anybody hears'', and I was like, ''yeah, I know I don't.'' I would care now.
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Female