I FEEL REBORN!

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This is one very happy Aspie!

I figured everything out! Well not everything in the social world in fact the key to happiness, calmness, and social success doesn't lie in understanding the outside world. It lies in understanding myself!

More importantly just being myself.

I had been taking this whole Asperger's thing as some kind of huge deal these past few years, thought I could never have true happiness because I knew I felt happiest whenever I was being spontaneous but the only thing that got in the way of that was being self-conscious. I remember the advice a friend gave me "I used to worry as much as you do then I decided I don't give a f--- relax man" He seemed like he had AS traits but I'm not sure. And from several of my friends when ever I said anything about not being understood or people looking down on me: "F--- other people!"

It's funny because I've always understood that in principle and occassionally was able to use it but for some odd reason couldn't for the most part and...

...Now I get it. I don't even know the whole thing right off the top of my head. Put enough effort into it I could probably fish out the words but I don't feel like it. I'm just happy I finally figured it out! So I'll just give a little tidbit:
-Reading other people is not important. Keeping a positive outlook is. Even if people act annoyed they respect you if you dismiss the nasty things they say as jokes when they weren't intending on joking so just act under the assumption that the person is joking if you don't like what they're saying and you're good! This might not impress everybody. Some really stuck up control freaks will try to paint that as really immature, but they're really hurting inside because you didn't let them boss you around.
-If you want to say it, SAY IT! There are only a few extreme cases, maybe thats what held me up on getting the confidence to put this principle into action I had to figure those out precisely or be too afraid of screwing up BUT anyways a few extreme cases where you should be careful. Cops obviously. Employers, but if they're nice not to too much of an extent. Coworkers a little. Customers avoid any disputes unless you have a rare boss who sides with employees over customers if there's a dispute or if you're the boss and don't feel the one is worth the money. And then though its not life-or-death it's good to strategize a little on how to approach people in order to get them in bed with you, but NT men and sometimes even NT women do this all the time anyways. Or if someone is so angry and aggressive it's obvious they're about to beat you(even if you don't have a good grasp on that it's better to hang loose and just live life and get beat up a few times as a learning experience than walk around afraid of everybody).
-If you have any hangups like worried about the sound of your voice these can balloon into a general feeling of self-consciousness and make you worry about all the other things without you realizing that had it not been for the original thought this ballooning effect wouldn't have happened.
-What you focus on gets bigger especially for us. Sensory and emotional oversensitivity is caused by focusing too much on things that bug you, for some it might be genetics, for others a secondary symptom from being attacked by society for being different encouraging thought patterns focused on the negative. It might not be controllable when something just takes you by surprise, but once you notice it focus on something else. If I notice I'm feeling unhappy about anything now I immediately start focusing on things that make me happy and now I feel GREAT off of my own brain! Key is Be Selective About What You Care About.
-If you're happy you're more likeable automatically. You can't fake being happy no matter how hard you try and yes people will catch on that you are happy even if it doesn't show in your face and your voice but it will take time. And the key to happiness is doing what ever you want!

And most importantly Asperger's Syndrome is not a big deal and I don't have to spend every waking moment of my life worrying about it or worrying about how I'm perceived or if I'm perceiving right and if someone says something bad all it proves is that they are capable of moving their vocal chords and tongue to make noise. Wow! I can do that too! And if someone thinks something negative about you it means they have drawn conclusions from their own personal imperfect perception, and proves nothing other than that they can have opinions. Again, what's so special about that? I can have opinions too. Except mine tend to be so much more logical and out-of-the-box than most people's.

Hallejuha! And normally I'd go correct taht spelling btu right now I dont care. It's just at ypo.

From now on no more worrying!

That is so awesome, Dguru! Why worry so much about it? Just be yourself and live your life. It's much easier that way

Last edited by ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo on 19 Mar 2011, 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sounds like your crushed pingpong ball has popped out. I would record the feeling and notice where you felt it, because maintenance is also very worthwhile.

+googleplex


I've felt this feeling a few times recently- always when well-rested and happy. Never was able to put it words this well though.

Here's to happiness *toasts*

Congratulations!

I've had that same feeling since the September and October of 2009.