How can I be sure about having Asperger's?

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I am 43 and I am a woman. I am on a waiting list for an assessment. So I may not get this diagnosis, but even if I would, how can I be certain that I am not just imagining it? Or exaggerating symptoms? I assume that the assessment will be mainly talking to me about me, and that is hardly objective.

I wonder if I am just imagining the symptoms because I want to have an explanation for the fact that I have never achieved anything in life. In spite of being very bright in school, I have never managed to finish any university degree or even hold a full time job. I have had many part time jobs -all lower education or non-educated like cleaning- but those were hard to keep doing too, and my record for staying in the same job is 4 years. That is my biggest frustration, but perhaps it just means that I am lazy.
If I would get diagnosed I may be able to get access to some kind of help to get and stay in a job, and that is why I want to get assessed.

I have other symptoms too, and I certainly had many more when I was small, but I am also empathic and I have an incredibly vivid imagination.

I'm worried that I am just falling for the latest 'trend' in developmental problems, and that I am one of the people who will be taking attention away from others who genuinely have this syndrome.

You can't be CERTAIN unless you go for a diagnosis. There are other conditions that can seem to be AS on the surface, even if when they are not. While misdiagnoses can and do happen, it is always better to trust a professional that has knowledge in many of these conditions.

Hi Cinnamon,
Have you ever tried to analyse why things haven't gone as well for you as you'd hoped they would. For example, why didn't you finish your degree? If it was because you couldn't be bothered doing the work, maybe you were/are depressed, not lazy. Were there other (perhaps social or concentration) difficulties which made it problematic for you? Being empathic and having a vivid imagination needn't be the deciding factor either. Many people on this site, with diagnoses, claim to be empathic (to an extreme) and very imaginative and I'll include my own daughter. Being female, if you do indeed have AS, your traits are less likely to be obvious or stereotypical. You won't know for sure until you've been for your assessment. Good luck.

Even if you don't have Asperger's, a diagnosis may be useful in that it may identify something else that can be treated.

Do you know why didn't last long at jobs?

A lot of Aspies work really hard at jobs, but fail because they ignore the social aspects of the job. For instance, folks will do more than their co-workers to compensate for their lack of social skills, and be pushed out of their job for raising the bar too high...

Another job mistake is to take stuff at "face value."

The customer comes first--well, it depends on where you work. It isn't unusual for your fellow employees to come first--if you really want to continue to work there...

In my case I am pretty certain since I have been trying to work out what is and what has been 'wrong' with me and why I feel so different all my life and suddenly, reading about aspergers syndrome, it just seems so obvious that this is what I have. It explains some very bizarre-seeming and specific thoughts, worries and behaviours throughout my life.

Yes, it can pretty enlightening to realize you just didn't have a clue about stuff that normal people just assume you know about because you seem to be so smart...

You can't be sure of having it unless you are diagnosed with it; and however, even people who have been diagnosed with it sometimes aren't sure about their diagnosis.

The border of diagnosis is whether you have what is called "significant impairment" in the diagnostic criteria. That means, in layman's terms, that you have some problems in everyday life that either most people don't have, or are more severe than most people's to the degree that you need to get help, spend more energy, or use technology or a different coping strategy to deal with them. Disability occurs when there is a gap between what you can do and what is expected of the average person; if there is such a gap, then you need an evaluation.

I recommend you read a few articles or a book or two on introversion, because the problems faced by introverts are usually the extreme end of what we call the "normal range", the problems that society is set up to deal with; and if yours are no worse than that, you probably don't need a diagnosis. On the sensory end of things, you could check out a concept called "highly sensitive people", which is connected to introversion and also to sensory overload, and which also goes into the normal range. If you can find, in the NT world, what you need to live your life--without having to go out of your way to get help--then a diagnosis isn't necessary or appropriate. On the other hand, if you have problems that are unique to you and your neurology; if you need help learning something that doesn't come naturally, or help with doing something that you either can't do or would spend all your energy doing; then you should look for an evaluation.

Thank you for all the responses.
I have already looked into introversion, and done tests for it too. According to the test I am an extreme introvert. Sounds about right. I am not at all shy though!

I may look into the 'highly sensitive thing', although I seriously doubt that I am very sensitive. I do get startled easily by sudden noises, don't like loud noises, or confusing noises, or crowds, and I am picky with how my clothes should feel, but I am in fact LESS sensitive to pain than most other people. I have also read that many people with autism have food sensitivities or are picky eaters - I definitely do not have that problem!

I am not sure why I failed in the higher education courses I tried, and why the jobs were so hard. I don't really like to think about it a lot, it doesn't help and only makes me miserable.

Callista wrote: 'Disability occurs when there is a gap between what you can do and what is expected of the average person'
Well, there is definitely a gap between what I actually do and what is expected of the average person, but I can't be sure if that is just laziness or lack of willpower or a deeper rooted problem.

well aspergers is defined as simply like 'bad social skills' awkwardness.... wow what a specific medical category. so basically there isn't any such thing if you ask me but of course if you're known to be and find yourself awkward then you'd have it. i'd say aspergers is social anxiety disorder which is more specific and medical and scientific ratehr than just bad social skills.

anyway i'll list my own assesments (i'm a good thinker and money and busyness and operating isn't my aim so therefore i actually think i may understand some things as they actually are better than the apparent experts nad psychiatrists). anyway this is my info as i understand it.

brain has two halves left and right. right takes in sensory information it's to do with your 6 senses (propriecitation is the 6th btw not seeing dead people) left brain is the analytical the language it is cognitive thinks in symbols not words and converts real complex senses into symbols thinks of things as objects. basically left brain thinks in terms of the signifier (a word, symbol, diagram, logical sentences), and the right brain thinks in terms of the signified (experiential thinking, something is what it is and it is ether visual, felt, heard, etc). signifier = rabbit, signified = the actual picture of a rabbit and any other sensations the rabbit offers. stick with me... perception... we see the world in 2d, using parrallex we can tell the 3dness of an object.

ok based on that is my understanding of basically life all personalities but to be specific the labels. lets start with dyslexia: right brained thinking with 3d perception (great 3d perception in fact). classic autism: right brained thinking with 2d perception. aspergers (as i use the term): left brained thinking (super advanced they're just very clever at left brained logical systemising - basically they think about a lt and enjoy super intutive concepts) they can see normally ie recognsie 3dness. neurotypical: left brained thinking and right brained thinking in equal amount (basically they think left brained but about right brained things so they analyse obvious things basically and don't analyse so much that their sensory information they can take in goes down like with aspergers).

just for interest symptoms to do with the labels. i think neurotypicals get stress as they're concerned with like the here and now stuff but they don't enjoy the here and now stuff as to them it's about the meaning so they don't enjoy nice looking clothes they just think some clothes ARE objectively nice looking and will wear them to be regarded highly amongst their peers - and feel negative emotions on their own and then feel lonely. aspergers people honestly i'd say they could be depressed and not know if they are and have alexithymia in general ie they're the unemotional in general but hypersensitive to faces and get nervous from them. autistic people: because they can't recognise objects and therefore naturally don't have words they live in a world of crazy colours and patterns coz it's 2d literally therefore they don't think in words - they're kind of crazy on teh surface basically. dsylexics: honestly i'd say they enjoy the good life they think in images and never developed the inner reading that helps you read passages or think to yourself they're very creative and holistic thinking and kind of apart from their life struggle with words have everything else going for them in today's creative world and they have great communication skills because they naturally pick on body language as they think in 3d image they perceive 3d image better too.

Learning Time, I had to read that a few times before I could make sens of it. Interesting perspective though. I think I will have to read it a fewe more times and perhaps do some additional research before I can decide what I think of it.