Autism social groups: anyone go? What are they like for you?

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As title.

There's two in my county that I know of - one about 12 miles from me (we'll call it 'A', even though it's probably easy to find information on) and other one about 25 miles away (which we'll call 'B'). Both are fortnightly and are very close together in when they actually happen but other than that, they seem rather different. I'm mainly looking at these things as I'm pretty lonely to be honest and don't really meet that many people (TenPencePiece excepted).

I've only attended 'A' so far and this basically just seems to be held in a community centre and is held later on in the evening. There's a pool table and a telly and people basically just sit and stand around talking for a few hours. The one over in 'B' (which is the one that's 25 miles away) seems to be an awful lot more organised, with trips to the cinema, regular quizzes, discussions on various subjects and so on and so forth. I'm quite interested in going to that one but I feel I need to do a little more research.

I was quite talkative when I went to 'A' and spent quite a bit of time talking to a few people (not just women!), although I actually met a few people there who I vaguely knew but hadn't seen in years. Not all of them seemed to me to be visibly autistic or even to have Asperger's as such, though, which was quite odd. There were a number of women there as well, so it wasn't a complete sausagefest. Actually, I struck up a rapport with one of the guys there and I think I shall take him some Italian horror movies next time I go.

Now, enough about me. What are these social groups like for you? I'd like to hear your experiences.

Two groups locally...

Group 1 - NAS-run group that is based in my old college (good reason for me to avoid it), they now charge a small fee to attend but they are well-organised and have the power of NAS behind them to offer help if needed. I've only been once, I got as far as the door and only saw 'visibly autistic' people, which put me off as I wanted to make friends with people more like myself - I didn't go in and haven't been back.

Group 2 - run by a local autism group which is small but run by fellow autistic people, and the person who runs the group is very into neurodiversity and promoting understanding/acceptance of autism. I've been a few times and quite like it, it's held in local pubs and with a small number of people but most are nice, but it did make me painfully aware of how autistic I am.

First time at group 2 I was barely able to talk, shaking and stimming like crazy, I unintentionally 'attached' myself to a neurotypical lady there who I felt comfortable with. The second time I started-off very freaked-out due to some confusion about where we were all going to sit, there was also someone there who was dressed odd and has this thing where he needs to stroke people's shoulders - I don't like to be touched, and it was hard to make him understand that - BUT I got talking to a couple of people and one is now someone I'd consider a friend, so that's made me far more relaxed about the whole thing. I've only been to this group three times so-far but will go back, I just still wish there were more people...and that I had more cash to be able to stay a while to drink

I go to a GRASP support group for autistic adults.

It's laid-back, low-pressure, no need to be "on", and I feel comfortable there.

People can ask for advice about their personal issues.

Most of the people there are not visibly autistic, but there is a general tendency to ramble.

I went to an ADHD meeting this week. They seemed hyped up on medication and a fight nearly broke out

Unfortunately, because of my avoidant issues, the only way to get me to a group is to have a SWAT team break down my door and drag me there with an AK-15 pointed at my neck. Otherwise, no.

I nearly went to an NAS-run autism group in Croydon but I was too scared to travel there and enter the place on my own. I considered taking my friend (who has AS too) with me, but I think he would have hated it, so I didn't go in the end. I was going to ask the carer at my supported housing to take me, but I felt too embarrassed to ask (and anyway she doesn't understand AS well).

i've been to one, and attended for about a year. it was pretty good. they encouraged me to get my official diagnosis and were not surprised by the results, because it was extremely evident to the leaders and groups members that i have AS.

i found that the mileage i have gotten out of attending any sort of group (i have attended four different types of group therapy) depended on what i brought to the group myself and my willingness to connect with others. i didn't get along with every single person but i was able to meet many people who were worth knowing.

So far I attended two groups:

1. A well-organized support group with regular meet-ups (twice a month), structured programs, excursions (zoo, hiking), several facilitators. This is mostly for MFA people, but it is called 'Asperger Club'. There are people with multiple diagnoses or MR, too. I'm regarded there as a 'helper' or 'supporter'.

2. Local autism/Asperger social group. This is a free formation, based around a blog. The blogger is very knowledgeable and verbose. We meet at an internet forum and sometimes organize social events and excursions. There are both better and worse "functioning" people in the group than myself. The events are unstructured and irregular, but the atmosphere is usually friendly and supportive. I think I'm getting substantial help, especially on the internet forum.

That's fair enough - I'd probably do the same.



That sounds quite good.



It does help, doesn't it.



That sounds excellent. What happens when you get there? Is it structured or do people just sit/stand around talking? It's the nature and form that these support groups take that I am interested in.



That doesn't sound too good.



Do you not think that might just be for the first couple of times - i.e. the bit about you being scared to enter there on your own?

I went for the first time on Tuesday (I posted about it here)

It was pretty good. It's a social group, but they sometimes have trips. The actual activities themselves weren't that interesting, but as I said in the other thread, just to be somewhere where I didn't feel pressured to "act normal" was great. I could say "no thank you" if they asked me if I wanted to do something, I could sit quietly and listen to conversations rather than feel pressure to contribute, I could get up and walk out when I wanted, I could eat the food I wanted, I could stim and not be thought of as weird, I could answer questions in my stuttery kind of way and not feel ashamed.
I'm not sure how I feel about the other people there. A couple of them annoyed me, but I've only just met them so I won't make up my mind now. There's a range of people who go, it seems, with varying levels of HFA/Aspergers. I also like that there's a variety of ages as well, as I get on with people older than me better than those my age.

The person leading it came outside to meet me (which I felt comfortable to ask her to do) which really helped because I don't like walking into a room full of people.

There's only one near here that I can find, run by the local authority in the local Disability Centre - which puts me off to start with - and it clearly is aimed at parents/children anyway.

Something that met in a pub would be ideal - provided I didn't do my usual thing and be too nervous to actually speak to anyone :p

I have been to a few social groups and would say they are alright meet some decent people and had useful topics however i don't really attend social groups nowadays as they don't appeal to me anymore.

There's one for adolescents about three miles from where I live, but I don't want to go. I understand it is aimed mostly at lower functioning people who I would struggle to have a meaningful relationship with.

My GRASP group doesn't have a lot of structure. Mostly, we talk about what we are doing in our lives and the autistic issues that we have, like meltdowns and overloads and such.

I have noticed that being in a social group with autistic people gives me a different feeing than in being a social group with NTs. With NTs, a social group would be much moar intense for me, like I would feel much moar generally tense, but at the GRASP group, I don't feel that way, like there is much less difference between me being there and me sitting alone in my own room. At NT social groups, the people are usually really locked into each other, like intensely engaged with each other, while I feel not engaged at all and mostly eggscluded, with no opportunity to say anything while other people are making all these non-verbal cues at each other and talking in loud varitone voices and making me moar tense and sensory overloaded with eberry word and eggspression. At the autistic group, eberrything is more monotoned and quiet and laid-back, and people don't give off that many non-verbal cues, and people are less intensely engaged with each other, so when they are talking about some topic that I don't know about, I don't feel like I am the only one who is not engaged, so I don't feel eggscluded even if I don't talk most of the time. The general feeling of me being there is just so much moar relaxed than being around NTs. I could spend like two hours sitting around listening to these autistic people ramble on about various topics that I don't know about, and I would feel fine and not overloaded, while I would feel overloaded and want to leave after spending five minutes in an NT social group.

There might be on other way to get you there... Maybe deceiving you into believing it's not a group would work, although I don't know how that would work to be honest. What other thing could the person deceiving you say it is?

I really don't even know if there would be any groups like that around here and if there were, I don't even know if I would go or not. If there was, I might consider going at least once just to see what it was like. Would I need to be diagnosed first, to even go to one, if there was one near where I live?

The one that I sometimes attend does not require people to be diagnosed in order to join. People who suspect that they have an ASD and who feel affinity with it, are very welcome. I suspect it would be no different in your area.