The positive side of Asperger's

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I am in one of those moods today where I hate Asperger's, I hate having it, and I hate how it affected my life. Can someone help me see some of the positive things that might go with having Aspergers?

There are positive aspects of Asperger's.

You could acquire an "expert's" knowledge in something useful. There are many Aspergians who are engineers, computer programmers, computer technicians, etc. They might not have the greatest "social skills"--but the "NT's" on the job know who to ask if a particularly prickly problem arises.

How about your hyperfocus on obtaining your Doctorate? Obviously, you've done something right to obtain tenure. I'm sure you've published at least a couple of articles in peer-reviewed journals.

Asperger's is not a death sentence. It does not preclude you from success. It ranges from a "difference" to a "disorder" with much "gray area" in between. It's ridiculous to be "ashamed" to have Asperger's IMHO.

Ability to concentrate?
Have good memory?
Knowledgeable/ to be an expert in chosen area(s)?
Never bored?
(as long as there are facts, dates, stuff - I still can't see how people can get bored on a highway when stuck in traffic jam. On passengers seat there is endless number of car plates in view )
Perceptiveness?
Not dependent of having a human company? (=independent!)
Clear about one's likes and dislikes?

My concentration isn't so good, even in my special interest area. I can be reading a magazine about special interest things, and still have a hard time staying focused on the reading. Don't think it is ADHD since I wasn't like that as a kid. Think it might be some brain damage from enjoying college years too much.

Maybe it's that dementia which comes with enjoying life--who knows?

You have to concentrate how to instruct your students well.

What sort of courses do you teach? I would say: probably some Psych 101's and some which are within your field of expertise.

You can't get yourself into something like "medieval plumbing." Otherwise, you wouldn't be viable.

Thanks Kraftie, I knew you would respond with some positive comments. I teaching mainly Research Methods, Cognitive Psychology, Statistics, sometimes Psychology of Aging and will be doing Human Development in the fall for the first time in a few years.

I guess I had forgotten that intense focus on something can be a little beyond just a special interest, in terms of focusing on getting a degree, doing research, etc. I am not as focused on research as many professors are. I wouldn't have gotten tenure at a publish or perish institution. I have 10 articles published, some much better than others.

I guess I am still new enough in the being diagnosed phase that I still try to imagine how different life would have been if I hadn't had Asperger's. I am always looking at what might have gone better. I am sure I would miss out on some of the traits I have now, never realizing that they were related to Asperger's. I don't need tons of social stimulation like some people, and am pretty good at entertaining myself, even to the point that I appeared weird and strange growing up to the neighborhood kids-who never missed an opportunity to bully me over it. Maybe I turned out better in the end than they did, though. At least I have tremendous job security.

My personal impression is that having Asperger's, perhaps, enabled your success.

If you were more of a "social being," you might not have been able to obtain a Doctoral level of education, a professorship, and tenure.

I was bullied in the same way as you, for similar reasons. I felt a tinge of identification when you mentioned the bullying.

The fact that they don't make you teach Intro courses means that you are held in high esteem by your department. I get the feeling you're advanced into the "associate professor" echelon.

I've been highly capable of "entertaining myself" since at least the age of six.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 09 Mar 2015, 8:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Diagnosed late myself, and in my case the dx is a relief - it explains the way my life has been.

The concentration, repetition, mimicking, rigid thinking, isolation and downright fanaticism are useful in playing sax.

My other field is Literature study, where some of the above is a hindrance, but an advantage if I can get pictures in the mind from the writing.

I also have sensory days when it's like strolling in a French Impressionist painting, and an amusing sexuality.

Making money is the problem. Still, far sooner the above without money than money without the above.

I teach almost all graduate courses. The Cognitive Psychology course is the only undergraduate course I teach on a regular basis. I also teach a graduate version of it. It takes a special person to teach PSYC101, I think that is where the Asperger's might hurt me a bit-you need to be really social and able to entertain 18 year olds, that is not my strong point.

I was actually promoted to Full Professor last year. Was promoted to Associate Professor in 2005.

Guess better social abilities might have hurt in education. I might have found someone to marry earlier on and never made it to, or finished grad school. I saw that happen to one guy in terms of grad school. One guy in my frat in undergraduate school knocked someone up so he had to drop out of college, get married, go to work. Never did find out what ultimately happened to him.

I guess we all get what we get and do what we can with it.

Congratulations on attaining Full Professor! Not very common at age 47.

Where I went to college, there were maybe a couple in the faculty who were "full professors"--both were quite elderly and ready to become Emeriti.

Associate Professor at 38? You were on the fast track.

Graduate courses, I believe, are actually easier to teach because it's more seminar and less lecture, usually. There's a more Socratic and less didactic atmosphere, usually.

You had to have taught Psych 101--unless you were some kind of "star." You got through it okay, apparently. I don't believe instructors are "exempt" from teaching Intro courses like some students are exempt from remedial courses.

I think you did all right for yourself.

Yes, it has been a relief for the most part for me also, explaining why my life was it way it was also.

Still, I think that was kind of what was bumming me out today. I now learn all of these social skills things so late in life. I learn how to appear more attractive to women, and how to make them more interested in you, now that I don't need it-been married 15 years. I really could have used this stuff 25 years ago, that is for sure. I practice it at work or in public now and then just for the heck of it and it seems to work-women seem more interested in me. I leave it at that since I don't need any temptation. It is nice, though, to know that people finally find me attractive.

Graduate school was a social nightmare for me, except for the last year or so. It would be easy to say that everyone was too busy studying to worry about relationships, but that is not what it was like where I went. All the guys I hung around with were getting dates, into serious relationships, even married, and no one showed the least bit of interest in me. I was definitely different. Felt like a total outcast, inferior to all these other people because females found them attractive, but not me. Even attempted suicide once (that I remember) in an alcohol fueled hazy by taking a bunch of over the counter pain killers. I just couldn't take the pain of being so different and so unloved any longer.

If I had known what to do to be attractive back then, things might have been so different. I wouldn't been depressed all of the time, and look back on it today and still get depressed. I am sure those experiences finished killing what little self esteem I had and still probably have a negative impact on me today.

I know it is an overused and trite saying, but if I knew then what I know today.....

My praise is not pseudo-praise. If I don't feel it, I don't say/write it.

Trust me, if you have truly figured this stuff out, you are far ahead of the game compared to most other aspies. There are many in their 40s, 50s and up who have little to no contact with women, are involuntary celibate and are even virgins. I am one among them. That makes it a reason to celebrate in your case.

I would also urge you to post in detail, by creating a separate thread, about how to develop these social skills and make oneself attractive to women. You would be doing yeoman service to the aspie community.

It's alright.

My mum is NT (she's over 50 years old, for perspective). She wakes up having horrible days thinking about how her personal characteristics have negatively impacted her life.

What I intend to say is, you needn't look for positives in Asperger's, but positives in yourself. Looking for some hard-wired advantage is not likely to help your mood, as there will always be a person with a stronger innate ability(?) than you. Furthermore, it serves little purpose next to how you view yourself. Example:

'I have high attention to detail, because I have Asperger's', could become 'I am an extremely perceptive person'. At least that would feel more personal to me.

IMO, the differences between AS and NT aren't as dramatic as made out to be. Though ASD may make one feel alien at times, we're all human. I'm sure our similarities are of far greater importance than the differences.

At least in my experience, emphasizing the positives of your humanity is the best way to go about this.

I never intend to offend, so I apologize if you find distaste with my view here.

I agree with Norny. We're all human.

We all only have one life, one try, no rehearsals.

It's never too late to decide to (learn to) understand oneself better and to became a better person. Whether it is learning social skills or learning to meditate or to be more kind.

And never to late to start starting each morning by writing down 5 things one is grateful for.

At the moment I am grateful for … birdies singing outside, sunshine, warmth (by underfloor heating!), coffee, electricity, oh, no, the whole 21st century!, being an Aspie actually (as in being quirky, unusual, original, cute, independent, inquisitive, intelligent, attentive to subtleties etc - I find it easier to see the positives when I can praise myself via something I can't change), my other half, health, coffee again…

Try your list?