cant make up our minds....???

Post Reply New Topic

hey, all,
i was wondering if other auties/aspies have a hard time making up their mind

i'm an aspie and i certainly do have a hard time at times...

i think it is because all of a sudded i have everything pushed to me at one time and i have to make a decision right there and then and it gives me anxiety....

and it is over the little things too...what to order at a restruant...or what kind of froz veggie to get, what clothes to buy [i'm super cheep], to big things like collage and jobs..... but for the little things if i can't make up my mind [especially with non-etable things] i often just go without...even when my parents give me money for my birthday and i can spend it anyway i want.

it's horrible i know...

anyone else there like this? just curious

Most definately. I never seem to know what I want... I know what I DON'T want, but as for making up my mind on questions like "Where do you want to go for lunch?" or "What do you want for *enter special occation here*". Unless I'm given time to think it over or a list where I cross everything else off because I don't want that... I'm stuck.

Yes.


It drive my BF carzy. I find that I do mch better with multiple choice and process of elimination but the more choices the harder it gets. I think that is why some of us like to have "same" things. I usually eat the sam things at the same restuarnat. Sometimes, when I try something new and it isn't as good as my usual...I just feel like crying or screaming..."I've been cheated".

Right now, I am having that problem with finding a new job. I have to have a lot of time to "process"....to picture what it would be like to be there every day but there is no way to know that until you are there so it makes it twice as hard to decide because I don't know how I am going to be functioning then or have enough information about the job environment...so I end up staying in a place I hate...(No choice can BE a choice, in these situations).

Yes, in a way. Whenever someone asks me what I'd like (to eat, to do, to visit, to watch), I don't really care. There are a few things I love, usually related to my current hobbies, but if those are off the table, I prefer to go with what the other person wants to do. Since it's all the same to me, I like to see the other person having fun. Sometimes I know it annoys people, and they tell me to "just PICK something!" but since I don't care, I stall out and can't choose. Then if they start getting annoyed, I get all anxious and nobody's having fun.

I don't know. I can't make up my mind...

in such cases, I call upon my asisstant - a fabulous friend who helps me with my daily or long-term decisions. For everything else that maybe most people would not even think about (which chair to sit in, which shoe to put on first...) I have strict routines that are only a problem when interferred with by others.

I'm definitely like this sometimes, especially if I have a ton of choices to pick from. Like if I go out to a restaurant and there's so many choices on the menu, moreso if I haven't eaten there before, I'll read the entire menu and analyze it to death, before I finally get around to ordering something that seems like it would be good. I'm also like this when shopping for clothes or jewelry, again analyzing over every little detail, such as, what would this shirt go with, is it worth buying this for the cost or should I go elsewhere, do I like this ring or that ring better, should I look around at more clothes/jewelry?

Speaking for myself, I think it's because of my analytical nature and needing to have all the information and every little fact at hand before deciding what to do. I don't want to make the wrong decison, after all.

Ah yes I hate that! Like especially with big purchases. Like I bought a crappy bike from K-Mart, and my mom and I got into a big argument about it, like I wanted to return it but I didn't think they'd take it back since I rode it once. But she really got mad and made me return it, telling me they won't even notice. I'm glad I returned it, but I hate choices like that.

Also, spending hours researching your options, and really weighing the benefits of different ones, and deciding DEFINITELY you want this works.

i have this quite often, usualy when i get asked what would i like to eat i yeply "hmm I think maybe food." lol. Often I have told my mum to just get me something i would like, I think I like to make the perfect desiscion and is easier if i am given a small amount of answers. I realy hated going clothe shoping because i couldnt make up my mind so I mostly go for plane black clothes (black supposidly goes with everything). Maybe its that i dont think i have a proper amount of information.

I have lots of trouble answering others' questions about my preferences, like "Would you like me to bring you a nice hot drink?" or "Do you want to come to my party tonight?". I'm not sure why, but I freeze up - even if I did have a preference, I forget it and just stare blankly at something to my left. It can take up to a minute to sort myself out - a minute is a loooong time when someone is staring at you waiting for an answer to a perfectly normal question.


Making my own decisions is easier, I have many routines and habits, and I often feel like there is something specific I already want, I just haven't realised what it is. Sometimes it takes half an hour of dismissing ideas before I come across the right one, but I do find out what I want. Then I *have* to have it right then, no matter how impractical that is...

umm....it depends on the situation. but if it's making decisions when going shopping, then yeah, I can't make up my mind. sometimes I wonder if people behind security monitors in supermarkets wonder what the hell I'm doing. I can spend hours just grocery shopping. It's because there are too many choices, too many different prices, volumes, qualities, and too many things in the ingredients to consider. it isn't too bad if I go to the same supermarket every time, but if I end up somewhere that doesn't have the exact products I prefer, then I get confused.

otherwise, I'm okay at making up my mind, and usually I will be stamping my feet, or rolling my eyes in impatience at other people who can't make up their minds.

I tend to make decisions based on habit and logic. Heck, I don't even know why my favorite color is blue. I have seen shades of red, green, etc... that I ALSO like.

I'm a roleplayer.

I carry around an assortment of dice with me.

I have 3D4, 2D6, 2D8, 9D10 (don't ask), 1D12 and 2D20... as well as a few D2s (coins)...

If I need to make a decision about something I don't really have any preference about, I'll typically just allocate numbers and roll dice. I get strange looks for doing so sometimes, but it takes all the hassle out of the decision-making process. Besides, I'm used to random and chaotic things by now, so it doesn't make me so anxious if I get an unexpected result.

I have been caught without my dice a few times though. THAT is a bit of a pain. I usually end up fiddling around with number sequences and stopping arbitrarily to make a choice, but it doesn't feel the same.

using dice sounds interesting, but i dont think i could stand people staring at me if i did that