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breakfastsurreal
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31 Aug 2008, 9:38 pm

So this seems to happen every time I make a new friend. Usually in the beginning I might hang out with them 2-3 times a week for a couple of weeks while I am getting to know them...but then I ALWAYS back off, no matter how much I like the person. I just don't love leaving my house and feel the need for some distance after that amount of time. It's really hard to make people understand this, and they often pressure me into hanging out, and I do anyway because it's hard for me to say no, even though I hint a LOT that I have other things to do (I am bad about just outright saying I dont WANT to), but they never really get the picture. In the end I end up avoiding them a lot because I start to feel resentment towards them for not just giving me my space. It's also rough when my husband and I make couple friends. It's then 4 people, not 2 that have to be accomodated. And my husband is worse than I am when it comes to wanting to be social. I always have to make excuses for him and it kind of puts me in a bad spot, like it's always me and another couple, and I have to try and explain my husband's behavior...and lots of times I feel the same way, just don't have the guts to say so or say no. So then they usually start talking about how they don't understand why he is that way, and I DO understand...so it alienates me even more from them because I feel like if they don't like the way he is then they don't really like me either. *le sigh* Anyone else have situations like this?



Josie
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04 Sep 2008, 2:39 pm

Yes, I feel the same way. I love my space!! ! I know what your going through. Some NT's just don't understand our logic.



Jellybean
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04 Sep 2008, 2:41 pm

Its annoying me at the moment because at this college people are trying to force me to make friends. I hate that. If I want to get a friend, I will look for one. I prefer my own space. I too lose friends after a few weeks, but I don't know if you could call them friends.


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Aurore
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04 Sep 2008, 2:43 pm

The friends I have made, I wish they would understand that sometimes I just need my space, and it's not like I don't like them, it's just that the socializing is overwhelming.

Jellybean wrote:
Its annoying me at the moment because at this college people are trying to force me to make friends. I hate that.


Definitely my problem at the moment.


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aintnowreck
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04 Sep 2008, 2:56 pm

Argh.... I know what you mean.

My wife is a total social butterfly.

I just want to stay home, I don't like diner with other couples unless they are really close friends, which there aren't too many. It seems it is always a competition between couples to show up who's better and/or has more money.

Same thing with males showing me their car or truck or tv, I have to feign some sort of "uh-uh", like I am slightly listening but I couldn't care less­. Funny how that "male bonding" thing should work.

I play the shy card if there is no exit.... and then find a bogus excuse to get the hell out.

That's why I prefer going to people's places at the odd diner occasion: I can leave.


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TechPepsi
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04 Sep 2008, 4:30 pm

I know what you mean, I have a friend who is so annoying. I just do not know how to say no or what else to do.. This might not be the same, but to me. The friends I made back in college were just there... Not friend but some, but I sometimes just play it shy, other then this I am a social person when talked to... I sometimes get nervous on meeting some from college



prillix
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04 Sep 2008, 6:44 pm

I hate having space, i need to be doing something all the time, not with Alot of people at once, but with alot of people seperate occasions sure.

If i had a significant other on the other hand, i wouldn't mind sitting at home, relaxing and hanging out with her.


Time to find a "her". :P