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TrueDave
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31 Mar 2008, 3:34 pm

I was talking to a woman last night on the phone I had been chatting with very well on the dating site.

But on the phone I cant see whats being said or take time to think carefully.

My therapist says not to even mention it because I have such a mild case. But Its bad enough I felt I had to because I was giving the impression I was just rambling and not listening. I was nervous.

Basically my main AS problem is I'm slow at processing new info. Thats it . But bad enough to get me in trouble at all the jobs I've had.

My point is this: Thers so much talk here and in the media about how autism is passed genetically. One woman who asked for my number is even a Doctor.

I dont want to advertise I'm "bad breeding stock" (not my opinion)

Riddle me this : What do you call AS when its not AS?

Thank you .



Ravenclawgurl
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31 Mar 2008, 3:59 pm

just say you have a slight learning disability



MR_BOGAN
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31 Mar 2008, 4:15 pm

Yep tell her you have AS and explain it to her. I've told woman I've dated I was a bit different, they didn't have a problem with it and seemed to be interested in it.



ivetastedflight
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31 Mar 2008, 4:16 pm

No. It is misunderstood, and people will steer clear of something they don't know about. From their perspective, they might think, "What would I be in for? What would I be getting myself into?"

There is time for that later - get through the basics first.

:)



Space
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31 Mar 2008, 10:15 pm

Don't say anything bad like that on your profile. Men far outnumber women on dating sites, and it is really easy for them to skip your profile.



MissConstrue
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01 Apr 2008, 1:40 am

:lol: I think I agree with Space on that one. If she mentions anything, apologize and tell her you're not much of a talker.


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TrueDave
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01 Apr 2008, 9:39 am

Actually I AM a talker a rambler.

I know the old saying better to be silent and be thought of as an idiot than speak and remove all doubt.

I like the "slight learning Disability" idea.

But I think I'll also listen and WAIT tilla phone conversation.

Thanks again.



Thomas1138
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08 Apr 2008, 3:38 am

Really, I don't know why you need say anything like that. I've had difficulty hearing telephone conversations all my life, and it's only been in the last month that I've thought it had something to do with AS.

I usually just blame it on a lousy phone (true enough) and request that they speak slower/louder.



cd1
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14 Apr 2008, 9:30 am

TrueDave wrote:
Actually I AM a talker a rambler.



I wouldn't put it there. When you're fishing in a pond that has 50 fish and 500 fishermen, don't dilute your bait. Don't misrepresent yourself - you indicated your AS is mild - but don't disqualify yourself either.

Best advice I can give you here is that whenever you think you might be rambling, ask her about herself and then shut up while she talks. Memorize what she says. Every now and then ask her to elaborate or make a specific comment that demonstrates you are interested. AS or not, few things keep a woman's attention like listening to her.



alex
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14 Apr 2008, 9:35 am

Ravenclawgurl wrote:
just say you have a slight learning disability


he said he had asperger's, not a learning disability. asperger's isn't a learning disability. Telling a girl you have a disability is not a good pickup line.


Dave,
Don't mention autism until you know each other. You should be like, "sorry if I sounded like I was hedging you on the phone. I sometimes get carried away talking about things I'm passionate about. Makes it sound like you're even cooler and also explains your phone rambling.


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Snowy Owl
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14 Apr 2008, 9:57 am

alex wrote:
You should be like, "sorry if I sounded like I was hedging you on the phone. I sometimes get carried away talking about things I'm passionate about. Makes it sound like you're even cooler and also explains your phone rambling.


Or it makes you sound like just another self absorbed guy. There are a billion of those. Be the guy that is into her.



Ravenclawgurl
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14 Apr 2008, 10:46 am

alex wrote:
Ravenclawgurl wrote:
just say you have a slight learning disability


he said he had asperger's, not a learning disability. asperger's isn't a learning disability. Telling a girl you have a disability is not a good pickup line.


Dave,
Don't mention autism until you know each other. You should be like, "sorry if I sounded like I was hedging you on the phone. I sometimes get carried away talking about things I'm passionate about. Makes it sound like you're even cooler and also explains your phone rambling.


well what do i know? i just a girl. (sarcasm) then again im not a neurotypical girl so i dont kow how theyd react. besides though i wasnt talking about using it as a pick up line :roll: i meant after a while if it comes up. Besides Asperger's is a learning disability. Its a SOCIAL LEARNING DISABILITY.



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14 Apr 2008, 10:55 am

When most people think of a learning disability they think of the kids on the short bus. That's suicide in a first date context. First date is all about perception, right or wrong.



Hector
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14 Apr 2008, 11:08 am

ivetastedflight and Space have got it right.