Book "A Boy Called Arsenal' by Arsenal Whittick

Post Reply New Topic

At 49, Arsenal Whittick's whole life was about to change.

The dad-of-two was in a hospital with his eldest child and wife and he was hearing the reasons why his daughter had attempted to take her own life at just 15.

Arsenal, now 58, was in a position no parent could ever imagine themselves in, but while in hospital caring for his daughter he would get a life-changing diagnosis himself.

It was at this point, in his late forties, that doctors told Arsenal they believed he may have autism.

After further testing and meetings, Arsenal said he was later diagnosed and was finally able to get help for issues he had struggled with before.

He said: "I would like people to understand autism and mental health more. It is an invisible disability. People just think you're being naughty, or difficult.

"That's why I was always left in school."

Arsenal's incredible story has been told in book, A Boy Called Arsenal, and he said he hopes speaking about his life could help other people, with proceeds from the book sales going to charitable causes.

And while he has positive memories associated with football, the sport he loves also has some painful memories associated with it as he can recall the first time he self-harmed, age nine, after watching the FA Cup.

Arsenal said: "The only memories I have as a child was playing football, I was always playing football from junior school.

"In 1971, in the FA Cup final, all the local kids went out on St Albert's school playing field and they would play their own cup final.

"On that cup final day, it was Liverpool against Arsenal, and there was about 20 kids all ready to play and I wanted to go in goal. I ran down to the other end of the pitch to go into the Arsenal goal.

"When I turned around it was me on the Arsenal team and 19 others on the Liverpool team, nobody wanted to be on the Arsenal team. When I turned around everyone was shouting 'Arsenal, Arsenal' at me and then the nickname just stuck."

As the dad-of-two grew older, he formally changed his name to the affectionate nickname he used to have and also as a mark of how much he loves the north London team.

Recalling his childhood, Arsenal said after his diagnosis he recognises how things could have been different during his early years.

He said he has painful memories of being told to stand in front of a wall in school during PE lessons and he self-harmed for 40 years.

He said: "Even in senior schools they didn't know how to treat me, or handle me, because I was so angry.

He said: "In 2009, my daughter Samantha was 14 and she started self-harming. And then November 2010, she come home from school and had had a bad day in school.

"She was really upset and she put her head on my shoulder for a hug, but I just couldn't hug her. At that time I'd never hugged my kids.

"My wife came in and she was suggesting for me to hug her, but I just couldn't. I did struggle with that interaction.

"Samantha went upstairs thinking that because I never hugged her, that I didn't love her. In the evening she tried to take her own life.

"When we were in hospital, we stayed overnight and the clinical psychologist said to her 'Why did you try to take your life?'

"And she pointed at me and said 'because of him'."

Arsenal said Samantha then detailed how she found seeing her dad self-harm, not hug her and his routines, which she didn't understand at the time, upsetting.

Arsenal said: "After she reeled off about 20 things about me, the clinical psychologist asked me how much of it was true, and I said all of it.

"I never, ever knew that I was self-harming every day, because I thought self-harming was cutting yourself, and I'd been hitting myself.

"She then asked me to have a meeting and they said they wanted to do some tests on me, which took six months, and then in May 2011 I was diagnosed with autism, at the age of 49."

Before his diagnosis, Arsenal said he was prone to angry outbursts and would self-harm, but he's since been given the tools to change his life.

He said since his diagnosis, his life has "100% changed".

He said: "I learned to train in my brain how to think differently. I did Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and I kept a diary and each day I harmed I'd write it in the diary. The hospital could then see all my triggers and I learned strategies of how to cope with these.

"I self-harmed for 40 years, but I've not harmed since August 2014. Today I'm in a totally different place."

Arsenal and Samantha now go into schools to tell their inspirational story, and hope to educate people further about mental health and autism.

Members of Arsenal's family who he lost touch with also reached out to him and wanted to understand more about autism.