Where you live could determine how hard it is to date

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Whoo, west coast!

Welp, looks like Seattle's an A-grade city for dates, then. Not like it matters to me, since I'm still too young to cavort about in bars and other social hubs (other than school), plus I'm too detached to want to anyway. It's online relationships for me, I suppose. :B

Yeah unfortunately trying to get dates when you're not in school and not yet 21 is a royal pain in the ass. Not that it gets much easier as you get older.. since I don't have any intention of going looking for women in any of the dives around here.. that's how you catch something you don't want.

some of em are so skanky, if you go down on them you might get MRSA on your face.


I'm not even gonna assume it would be any "easier" for me to get a date in a liberal coastal city... But I do know I'd be a shedload happier if I knew I could open my mouth and voice my opinion without being told I was going to hell or that I needed to get right with god... or that my political opinions were "Ruining" america or worse that I was "Anti-American"... not having to constantly be on the defensive alone would remove huge chunks of anxiety from my mind.

I was rather surprised to see that comment coming from him. So this is how most men think when they see a woman dining alone?
Or is it how most PEOPLE think?

A homeless person in the street is tragic. But someone enjoying their meal in a restaurant? Hardly.


Back on topic. Cleveland is #94 on the list. That means it's better for women? But I never go out so I guess it doesn't matter.

I don't think it's just how women are perceived. I never dine alone in public for this reason. In fact, at my current job, I usually skip lunch if I don't have someone with whom to have lunch that day (which is the majority of days. #aspieweightlossprograms).

Hmmm, I've lived in a grade C city and a grade A city, and I've never noticed any difference (cities are just cities to me).

Furthermore, I love eating in restaurants alone. It makes for GREAT people-watching. I've never had trouble dining alone. I eat in restaurants alone about 1x a week.

- Female

Not only is the ratio of men to women something important, but the cultural norms of how dating is done and what is wanted change from city to city. In some extreme cases it can make someone that would normally be having frequent dates go years dateless just by not fitting that cities standards.

Or countries. In Shanghai, I could have as many dates as I wanted, including dates with Western expat girls, Russian girls, Japanese girls, or Chinese girls. When I went back into the U.S. for law school, I just didn't fit into any social circles there, so I had few opportunities to even make friends with women. It's very cliquish for the beautiful few, and everybody else is depressed and antisocial by the second year (I was depressed, study-holic, and antisocial the first year when everyone was finding their place). Maybe I just need to get out of here.

I don't even bother trying.
Everyone that wanted to go out showed up here at the house.
I took to hiding from them.None were my type at all.
And I sure didn't invite them over.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A D FOR ROCHESTER?

Signs that I need to get the hell out of there...

It should be pointed out that women slightly outnumber men pretty much everywhere, it's mostly a matter of just how much they outnumber us by.

More than just male/female ratio should be taken into account. It's easier in places that have an active nightlife, for those who can tolerate the whole bar/club scene at least (I dislike it, but could put up with it, given that it was the environment where people were most receptive to being approached). It doesn't really matter how little competition there is for mates if you're in a place where everyone just goes to work then goes home and there's few opportunities to meet people in the first place. Rather than focusing on how many other men you're competing with for women, better to focus on how many opportunities you have to try.

Also, I've lived in a few cities in Southern California and found that, while the gender ratios are roughly similar, city to city, there are some places where the women (everyone really, but it was the women I was most concerned with) are just plain friendlier and more open to being approached by, or willing to approach, strange men.

A big part of that, I think, can be explained by how safe the area is, or how safe it is perceived to be.

Lived in Riverside, which is pretty much a s**thole. There, nobody talks to anyone unless you're somewhere people specifically go to meet people, bars and the like. Even then, everyone acts very guarded.

Santa Barbara, on the other hand, is quite nice and very safe. There, I'd find myself having conversations with random strangers pretty much anywhere I went.

It's pretty obvious which kind of environment is gonna be more conducive to meeting potential mates. Don't just go places where the women outnumber men, that does you no good if they're all afraid of meeting new men. Instead, go to places where they feel safe, that's where you're gonna have the most success.