Overall experience with online dating: + or - ? (MALES ONLY)

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Thanks for all the replies, guys! It's interesting: there seems to be quite a difference between the replies to the thread and the poll responses. "Negative" is beating "Positive" in the poll, but not by as much as I expected! The replies, however, are overwhelmingly negative. The closest to a positive reply so far is Stargazer43's:

... yet even he didn't vote for an overall positive experience.

So I'd love to hear from all the guys that did vote "positive". What exactly was positive and why do you think your experience was different to most? I hesitate to draw any conclusions from the poll otherwise. Maybe someone had a "positive" experience, because they were lucky enough to find a woman straight-away or maybe they actually were treated well by many women - there's a big difference, for my purposes.



Well, that just about tells me all I need to know. I already have a bad impression of women in general, so it seems that online dating could only serve to reinforce it.



Agreed. It's something that could have worked really well and it's a real pity that it (apparently) doesn't.



Oh yeah, I've heard about that long ago and was already thinking I might do that if I ever seriously consider trying online dating. That doesn't seem likely, however!

I didn't find online dating to be of much use, as the best you can get after a spending at least a month on it, is a date or two that may or may not work out. I suspect that a majority of women simply don't bother with online dating altogether, they probably get better results offline. However, it would be informative to hear their opinion, which is why I made my thread about it.

I've had a short phase of success, met like a dozen but half were crazy or disappear after first name; two particular experiences made me bitter about it:

One was a girl whom I've built a bond with online, we kept texting too much for long months (8-9 months if I recall right, it was that long); she was showing too much interest but didn't want to meet me right away; that she was used to send me a good morning every single day and everytime when I appear online on whatsapp she was used to tell me "With who you're talking with?" (that was bit creepy but a strong interest sign) - the first date was a simple coffee date, it was a normal date, we chit chatted and I didn't do anything stupid, no staring, no touching... she totally changed after that and stopped texting and barely replied to my messages.

This experience taught me to put a deadline of maximum one week for the first meet up if she refuses that; bye bye for her!


The second exp was a girl who cheated on me and was completely moody.

In general, girls on dating sites *DO NOT develop bonds with anyone in particular, they're in marathon mode all the time, putting some propects on hold while dating others, one after another, seeking for the holy grail.

Have you ever noticed that threads of "girl stopped replying on okc" and "girl stopped replying after first date" are way more often started by males?


The other experiences were sad too.

It's because there's more stright guys on this forum than lesbian & bi women

I met my girlfriend online and she's great, we're even talking moving in together! My friend(we met on a fetish forum) introduced me to her though so I can't say too much what OKC would be like. My gf is very sweet and understanding of my asperger's and gender identity though.

Yes, lesbian and bi women who initiate things are in the same boat with guys.

I wouldn't cal OKC a scam, mostly because it's free. Plus the questionnaire lets you compare yourself to your match before you even start a conversation.

I've noticed a lot of women answering the logical questions wrong, then marking the answer as important (that STALE to STEAL question is a prime example).

Looks wise, I have my range, I gloss over what I do t find attractive and what appears to be very attractive (I just assume their looks went to their heads).

I'm more particular about life plans (career, moving, children). Having no ambition in life other than enjoying it is depressing to me (and often to them too).

I don't have much hope for the site or any internet dating because the demands that are put out there. There's being a good dancer, putting up with their moods, not having expectations, not ever having worn cargo shorts in the past.

I could easily go to one profile and match my word count with the caveats and demands from one person. I'm glad I have access to the thoughts, feelings, and expectations of others, but I really don't like the status quo I'm seeing. Haven't looked though the guys profiles to see what they're doing yet, it could be that everyone is demanding.

I went on this website for trolls. I saw my first match, and turned it off.

Rather than ask if people had success (not knowing what that means exactly). It would be nice to know if anyone on there actually got married. After all, any troll can go out with someone a couple times, or whatever.

That would be a pseudonym by the way. A fake identity. A troll. I just learned that word, and I really really like it.

Online dating is a lot of fun if your a woman. It's like going to a buffet where you can pick and choose whatever you want. You have all the power.

Unfortunately cannot give you that. What it seems to come down to - it's all about their expectations, what they want, they do not stop to think that perhaps you're looking for something, that you might like certain traits etc, so basically they tell you nothing about themselves from the outset (e.g on their profile), so you don't really have much indication that you even like them. When you wade through these profiles as well, you notice women who are basically just being rude to certain type of people through use of their profile (sometimes with what is arguably good reason, but you can tell they have a short fuse), which gives you a good idea what kind of person they are, if you really want someone worth having (ie they don't set off any red flags) you have so few women to message. If it was as simple as a bunch of people who couldn't find a date elsewhere it would work, but I think a lot of them get the idea that a dating site is their opportunity to 'build' (or screen their way to) the perfect boyfriend.

Yes, the majority of them will bail out on dates, or mysteriously dissapear. It would make a nice change for the women to do a bit of the footwork but I don't see why that should be an issue if you get a good response, it's probably more practical to think about getting from A to B - that is, actually arriving to a date and the other person not bailing out.

I think this is more of what I was saying, perhaps a little better said.