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slw1990
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03 Jun 2017, 6:24 pm

I've been talking to a guy on the site and it seemed like he was on the spectrum. In his pictures he had a blank expression on his face and his he was hunched over in one. He also didn't seem to have a lot of friends because he didn't have any social media at all and he didn't mention anything about friends in his profile when most guys do. He also seemed to have trouble connecting with people and said that he struggled with conversation. He would sometimes go a long time without messaging me and said that he was bad with replying so it made me think that it had something to do with executive dysfunction. It sounded like he ate a lot of plain food too and it made me think that maybe it was some sort of sensory issue. There were also some questions that said that he felt shy, socially awkward and never drank. I know a lot of people on the spectrum drink, but it made me think maybe he didn't go out very much.

I recently met this guy he seemed very NT and seemed to have pretty good social skills. I was even more shocked when I found out that he was in a fraternity. 8O I almost feel a little disappointed though because I thought that I may have found a guy that I could relate to. When he asked if I wanted to meet again I told him I would, but I'm still processing what he's really like and am kind of shocked.



nurseangela
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03 Jun 2017, 6:31 pm

He sounds like my cup of tea! Homebody, doesn't drink much, doesn't have many friends. I also am not on any social media except Twitter and that's to keep up on Trump. I'm also not real social. I think he's just an introvert. Sounds refreshing from the usual party animals and extroverted people that go out a lot.

Where does this guy live you say, what's he do for a living, does he have kids or a crazy ex wife and is he over 18? :mrgreen: Just wondering.


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slw1990
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03 Jun 2017, 6:37 pm

Lol. I thought the same. If he was in a frat then it probably means that he is a party animal that's extroverted. Someone that I couldn't relate to.



kraftiekortie
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03 Jun 2017, 6:59 pm

The guy might have felt "compelled" by peer pressure to join a fraternity.

Perhaps, some of his "social skills" was "forced" upon him by his parents. This happened with me, after I "emerged" from my classic autism.



slw1990
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04 Jun 2017, 12:21 am

So you think it's possible that he has it, but is just really good at masking it?



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jun 2017, 5:44 am

No he doesn't have it.

He's a normal guy.



slw1990
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04 Jun 2017, 1:40 pm

I remember him telling me that he got fired after asking for a raise though. That could be from poor social skills, but he could also be too entitled.



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04 Jun 2017, 2:32 pm

^ that could be poor social skills.. but then again, asking for a raise is a very vulnerable affair. one could have excellent social skills, but if they can't see eye to eye with the manager alone (due to a variety of reasons), they could get turned down.

maybe he was just in a bad mood.

i wouldn't be so quick to assume "extroverted party animal" after learning of his fraternity membership...maybe they're not all like that? i admit i've never been to one or been a member of one (or a sorority) though.

he could always be faking is so-good "social skills". but that also takes skill to keep up.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jun 2017, 2:41 pm

People never sound as they do online.



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04 Jun 2017, 2:42 pm

except when they do. :)


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slw1990
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05 Jun 2017, 4:11 pm

So I told him I have autism and he seemed really interested in talking about it. I don't normally tell people, but he doesn't have my contact information or anything.



kraftiekortie
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05 Jun 2017, 5:44 pm

Even if he doesn't actually have autism, he could have some features of it.

He could be within the Broad Autism Phenotype--especially if he has family/relatives with autism.

If he's interested (and you're interested), this seems like this might "go somewhere."



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06 Jun 2017, 5:00 am

@slw1990 do you like this guy, do you think he likes you? You haven't actually said.

I was in a fraternity, however it was a fraternity of misfits (not too unlike Animal House). It was actually a good way to have people around without necessarily forming close friendships with many individuals. Plus at that time, fraternities were struggling to attract membership, the "counterculture" didn't take a favorable view of them.


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slw1990
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06 Jun 2017, 3:28 pm

He seems interested because he asked if I wanted to meet up again and it looks like he answered several questions on my profile. He sometimes goes a while without messaging though. He gave me his number, but I try to be careful with giving it out so I haven't texted him or anything. I think I might be interested, but I feel more interested in him online than I do in person.



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06 Jun 2017, 4:10 pm

Well, I hate to go all fnord on you, but a forum of strangers can't tell you what he's really like. You're going to have to meet up with him again, maybe a few times, and get to know him better. Only that way can you decide whether you like him.



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06 Jun 2017, 6:14 pm

I hope it turns out that you really dig the guy.

And that he digs you, too.

Then you could watch movies and have popcorn together.

If he asks for sex and you don't want it, don't give in.

Hopefully, he's the virtuous type, though.