Reasons women do not date us!

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I appreciate the support I’ve received from most members. I’m not really asking for sympathy, but when certain members make dismissive comments and engage in other sexist behaviors, they might not be a great go-to source of information when it comes to women.

I’m no stranger to the report button.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 03 Apr 2024, 6:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

Most people I see round the pond are either walking with a friend or partner or have a dog with them

Yeah I know. I like going out for walks by myself though

You get arrested for that often? Or are you just being hyperbolic and whiney?

You wanna say hello to your fellow human beings out of pure good intentions? Go for it. But the issue here isn't "why do I get arrested for being friendly with pure intentions?" - it's "why don't women date me?" And y'all don't seem to approach women just to be friendly for the sake of being friendly. If y'all actually did, y'all'd probably have better luck. It's literally what's been suggested. But as the thread title implies, these women aren't being approached out of unbridled friendliness - they're being approached for a potential date. They're not just being said "hi" to in passing and left alone - they're being chatted up, in the hope of a date.

Even then, randomly greeting strangers is friendly and polite and all, but still does nothing to foster a deeper relationship - unless you expect it to lead to one, even potentially or eventually, in which case you're not just saying hi to say hi, cos there's an expectation attached to it, no matter how distantly.

And somma y'all seem far too obsessed with dating, with no interest in basic human connection, for me to really believe y'all just spread pleasantries for literally no reason, expecting nothing in return, with as much as somma y'all complain about not receiving the desired reciprocation or recognition of y'all's efforts and desires.

Pivoting to another subject relevant to he topic...

As for "the normies not tolerating the autism", people at large are usually remarkably tolerant - up to a point - and if society at large seems intolerant of you, odds are you're not just "bein' a little awkward", but are legitimately crossing a line which shouldn't be crossed, even if you "didn't mean to". Autistic or not, if you are considered a competent adult, you are responsible for your behavior, and the consequences of it. Period. People are not obligated to tolerate unacceptable behavior just cos it has an excuse. Period.

People are generally not impressed with a list of excuses.

Nutshell.

But also the whole post was bang on.

I hope you didn't take my joke about smelling a woman's socks seriously? I was escalating your previous post in an absurdist manner, taking your hypothetical of a man asking about your socks in that hypothetical situation, to the next level.

I know Blitz.
I was using hyperbole and I'm sure you were too.

I just wanted to reinforce that one-liners made to strangers can easily fail or be deemed offensive, even if they're meant to be funny.

After two people have a bit of rapport and find a common sense of humour it might be OK to joke around like that, especially if you're in a Hollywood movie and you're Owen Wilson or Adam Sandler , but overall it's better to be safe than sorry.

Last edited by IsabellaLinton on 03 Apr 2024, 10:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Oh right, phew. I just saw you repeat the sock sniffing thing a couple of times and was a bit fearful that I might have been misinterpreted.

I am glad however that you understood.

I agree that one-liners made to strangers could easily be misinterpreted and I don't advocate for necessarily going up to strangers, trying to pick them up. That behaviour might be excusable in an environment like a night club where there is a social expectation that people might be 'out on the pull' but not in a random place where people are shopping.

I have never cold approached a woman in either scenario and in any case, I would particularly advise against the former, as some other people have already alluded to in this thread.

It's all about context, too.

For example, in a night club, there is a fine line between trying to be sociable or asking someone to dance for example and being a creep who hangs around someone too keenly.

I have hung around women on nights out before in clubs feeling frustrated they don't want to talk to me which is creep like behaviour I guess

just a bit

I appreciate that it's difficult for men to know how to approach women, and it must be especially challenging for autistic men if they don't get out much and they aren't comfortable starting conversations. I get that. The women on WP have acknowledged men's feelings in many threads for many OPs over the years. We've given encouragement, suggestions, ideas, support, and leant a listening ear.

It only becomes frustrating when our advice and support aren't taken seriously, as if autistic men are doomed to failure. Even worse, they sometimes suggest it's the fault of women whom they don't even approach or get to know. I don't believe autistic men are doomed to failure and I'm sure other forum members would agree. That includes autistic men like Duck and UCD who give excellent advice to other autistic men but it also includes women who share their own perspective and concerns.

My ex friend said to me once "Women often will not talk to you because you look like you are on drugs"

Yeah, you have mentioned that before Jamesy which is why I made that comment.

A few rules for being in a club:

- If you do ask someone something or try to open a dialogue with someone (a girl in your case) in the hopes of some kind of eventual romantic outcome, you need to quickly move on if your efforts are rejected in any way.

That means, clearing out of their personal space asap and also, ideally, looking as though you are not paying attention to them anymore. Avoid eye contact after rejection at all costs, as if someone wants you to go away and they catch you staring at them, then that will sure make you seem like a creep.

- Don't try to start approaching the friends of the person who has rejected you, after they have rejected you. This may seem as though you are still persisting in getting into the other persons personal space.

These things are all just basic social sense, but I appreciate some autistic dudes might not compute them in real time in various scenarios.

It might be challenging to try to approach anyone in the same bars/clubs/locations as in the past. Alcohol sometimes causes problems too. Finding opportunities to meet new people outside of clubs might be a good move.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 03 Apr 2024, 10:32 am, edited 1 time in total.