Reasons women do not date us!
It depends on what you mean by “weirdo.” I prefer people who are weird in some way. “Normal” sounds boring.
People like different things.
Why do you think it’s not easy to be liked in the pub scene?
Sometimes alcohol can make people behave in ways they shouldn’t and normally wouldn’t. Women might often feel like they need to be especially cautious there.
It’s also hard because everyone is SO different. In a book club or video game club, you’d already have things to talk about and to connect over.
I am quite posh and the weatherspoons pub I go to is ‘working class’
Why would you consider yourself 'posh' just out of interest?
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,147
Location: Near London United Kingdom
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,147
Location: Near London United Kingdom
Also working out in my home gym and playing video games
Volunteering sounds awesome! Have you made any friends or gotten to know anyone there?
Yeah a few people I mingle with
That sounds really positive.
_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess
Understanding gender dynamics, particularly in dating, can be complex and may involve various factors beyond just gender. Here's how these ideas might apply to an autistic heterosexual male experiencing challenges in dating heterosexual females:
"Men and women are the same":This perspective could help the individual recognize that, fundamentally, both men and women seek similar things in relationships: understanding, respect, communication, emotional connection, etc.It encourages the individual to approach dating with the mindset of equality, focusing on building mutual understanding and connection rather than adhering strictly to traditional gender roles or expectations.It may also emphasize the importance of clear communication and empathy, as these qualities are valued by individuals of all genders in a relationship.
"Men and women are different":This perspective could help the individual appreciate and understand the unique perspectives, communication styles, and emotional expressions that women may have, which can differ from those of men.It encourages the individual to approach dating with an open mind and a willingness to learn about and appreciate the differences, rather than viewing them as obstacles.It may also highlight the importance of cultural and societal factors that can influence dating dynamics, such as expectations around gender roles, communication norms, and social interactions.
For an autistic individual navigating dating challenges with heterosexual females, combining elements of both perspectives can be beneficial. Recognizing similarities while respecting differences can lead to more meaningful connections and improved dating experiences.
_________________
ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(diagnosed)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie
Dating advice for autistic heterosexual males may focus on understanding social cues, improving communication skills, managing sensory sensitivities, and building confidence.
Here are some specific actions that could be taken in the next 24 hours to see results:
Understand Social Cues:
Spend some time researching and learning about common social cues and body language signals that indicate interest, discomfort, or engagement in conversations and interactions.
Practice Communication Skills:
Practice active listening by focusing on what the other person is saying rather than planning your response.Work on asking open-ended questions to encourage conversation and show genuine interest.Practice expressing thoughts and feelings clearly and directly, avoiding ambiguity or hints.
Manage Sensory Sensitivities:
Identify and prepare strategies to manage sensory sensitivities that may arise during social interactions, such as using noise-canceling headphones in loud environments or taking breaks to recharge if feeling overwhelmed.
Seek Social Support:
Reach out to friends or family members for feedback or role-playing scenarios related to dating and social interactions.Consider joining online communities or support groups specifically for autistic individuals where you can share experiences and advice with others.
Build Confidence:
Reflect on your strengths and positive qualities, focusing on what you have to offer in a relationship.Set small, achievable goals related to social interactions or dating, such as initiating a conversation with someone new or attending a social event.
Plan for Self-Care:
Prioritize self-care activities that help you feel relaxed and confident, such as exercise, hobbies, or mindfulness practices.Ensure you get enough rest and take breaks as needed to manage stress and anxiety.
Remember that seeing immediate results within 24 hours may not be realistic, but taking consistent steps toward personal growth and improvement can lead to positive outcomes over time. Patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to learn from experiences are key aspects of the journey.
_________________
ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(diagnosed)
RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie
If it's Jamesy's thread, maybe Jamesy should make his own determinations about what is or isn't relevant to him, rather than you doing it for him. Also, TP seems to be perfectly capable of speaking for herself, without you doing it for her. If they have questions or answers for each other, they can talk directly. You don't need to manslate for them. They can use words, too. Part of the whole point is that Jamesy could benefit from learning to interact with others. Why not let him?
If it's Jamesy's thread, maybe Jamesy should make his own determinations about what is or isn't relevant to him, rather than you doing it for him. Also, TP seems to be perfectly capable of speaking for herself, without you doing it for her. If they have questions or answers for each other, they can talk directly. You don't need to manslate for them. They can use words, too. Part of the whole point is that Jamesy could benefit from learning to interact with others. Why not let him?
Wow! I'm learning new anti-male slurs
mansplaining (heard it first from TP)
now manslate - UC
I am all for Jamesy interacting with as many new people as possible. You grow as you expose yourself to new people broadening your horizons.
It sounds like you need to hang out in a bar frequented by artsy folk. There was an art co-op in Melbourne city and they had a bar which was their local. The most friendliest open minded females in the world I ever met were in this circle of people. I bet you would fit right in Jamesy with this type of crowd.
If it's Jamesy's thread, maybe Jamesy should make his own determinations about what is or isn't relevant to him, rather than you doing it for him. Also, TP seems to be perfectly capable of speaking for herself, without you doing it for her. If they have questions or answers for each other, they can talk directly. You don't need to manslate for them. They can use words, too. Part of the whole point is that Jamesy could benefit from learning to interact with others. Why not let him?
Wow! I'm learning new anti-male slurs
mansplaining (heard it first from TP)
now manslate - UC
They aren’t anti-male slurs. They are terms to describe sexist behavior that people sometimes engage in. Obviously, not all males do it. As a matter of fact, most don’t.
_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess
Both "mansplain" and "mansplaining" were first used on WP in 2015, a year before TP joined.
They were both used in popular culture long before that.
Even currently active mods use it when appropriate although I’m sure CD is aware of that.
_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess
It doesn’t feel great when problematic behavior is called out, but it also doesn’t feel great when members continuously engage in condescending behavior towards women - mansplaining.
_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven — Satan and TwilightPrincess
Jamesy
Veteran
Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,147
Location: Near London United Kingdom
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