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Reasons women do not date us!

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TwilightPrincess
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12 Apr 2024, 10:13 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't think we need to justify why we wouldn't knowingly date someone on hard drugs, especially if they thought so little of our trauma that they'd accuse us riding a high horse or passing "moral judgment" for setting boundaries.

Yeah, that wasn’t cool.
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm dealing with the negative consequences of someone's cocaine use right now, in my daily life. It's causing a huge ripple effect which has hurt many people in my family. The difference in my situation is that the person isn't a relationship partner so I can't just break up with them and walk away. It would be much easier if that were the case.

A few of us have experienced a lot of s**t due to drugs/alcohol. I couldn’t just break up with my ex and walk away on account of threats and stuff like that. It was scary, and it went on for years. Even if abuse wouldn’t be involved, I need peace and calm. I don’t need erratic behavior (autistic behavior is cool) or concerns about law enforcement doing their job.



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 12 Apr 2024, 10:33 am, edited 2 times in total.

babybird
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12 Apr 2024, 10:18 am

Jamesy wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Block them. ^

If it's on a social media platform I think you can also report them for harassment.



Well if I block them I have to confront them at the pub


You don't have to talk to anyone who you don't want to talk to Jamesy.

What are your concerns with this couple


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babybird
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12 Apr 2024, 10:21 am

I mean apart from the texting


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IsabellaLinton
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12 Apr 2024, 10:30 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
A few of us have experienced a lot of s**t due to drugs/alcohol. I couldn’t just walk away from my ex on account of threats and stuff like that. It was scary, and it went on for years. Even if abuse wouldn’t be involved, I need peace and calm. I don’t need erratic behavior (autistic behavior is cool) or concerns about law enforcement doing their job.



Exactly. Most of my answers - and yours too, I believe - in Fairfield's satirical thread about how men can pick up women were based on terrifying and otherwise ridiculous situations I encountered with people who were drunk or on illegal drugs. When I wrote the comments some WP members thought I was joking, but I clarified repeatedly that it was my lived experience. That includes dealing with cops, lawyers, and having my children's wellbeing threatened. I know you've faced the same and the psychological recovery will be lifelong.

I'm a lowkey, introverted autistic person. I need routine, predictability, and control of my environment to feel safe.
Relationships are hard enough with all people including colleagues, friends, relatives, partners, etc., that I wouldn't add unnecessary risk and drama into my life for anyone's sake. It becomes emotionally manipulative, insidious, and exhausting to put their needs ahead of my own all the time, or live in constant fear of the next potential crisis.

I know everyone who dabbles recreationally might not be like that, but it's not a chance I'm willing to take again.


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blitzkrieg
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12 Apr 2024, 1:48 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't think we need to justify why we wouldn't knowingly date someone on hard drugs, especially if they thought so little of our trauma that they'd accuse us riding a high horse or passing "moral judgment" for setting boundaries.


Who is asking you to justify why you wouldn't knowingly date someone on hard drugs?

Sorry, I have lost the plot in this thread, perhaps you can enlighten me?



TwilightPrincess
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12 Apr 2024, 1:55 pm

If you read back through pages 42-44 especially, you might see what she is getting at.



Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 12 Apr 2024, 1:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

blitzkrieg
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12 Apr 2024, 1:57 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
If you read back through pages 42-44, you might see what she is getting at.


Oh right, thank you for the pointer. I shall do that now.



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12 Apr 2024, 2:03 pm

Well, it was mostly FXE and me posting there.

I had a suspicion that the comment might be directed at me, and I didn't intend to have anyone justify their drugs position so I'm guessing it wasn't anything I said that was received that way?



babybird
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12 Apr 2024, 2:05 pm

Did you feel obligated to justify yourself TP


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TwilightPrincess
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12 Apr 2024, 2:09 pm

^^ As far as I know, you didn’t make comments like those she was referencing.

Personally speaking, I usually don’t have a problem with a specific person, just specific comments. If someone says something that I perceive as being out-of-character for them, it doesn’t really stay with me although I might have problems with the posts themselves. I connect stuff with members more when there’s an ongoing trend.



TwilightPrincess
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12 Apr 2024, 2:11 pm

babybird wrote:
Did you feel obligated to justify yourself TP

I don’t want to dredge up a disagreement but certain comments were a bit insensitive under the circumstances in my opinion which probably made me feel obligated to justify myself.



blitzkrieg
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12 Apr 2024, 2:11 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
^^ As far as I know, you didn’t make comments like those she was referencing.

Personally speaking, I usually don’t have a problem with a specific person, just specific comments. If someone says something that I perceive as being out-of-character for them, it doesn’t really stay with me although I might have problems with the posts themselves. I connect stuff with members more when there’s an ongoing trend.


Yes, you have mentioned "patterns of behaviour" before in a different thread, so I don't doubt that.



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12 Apr 2024, 2:12 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
babybird wrote:
Did you feel obligated to justify yourself TP

I don’t want to dredge up a disagreement but certain comments were a bit insensitive under the circumstances in my opinion which probably made me feel obligated to justify myself.


Ok. Sorry if I had anything to do with this


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IsabellaLinton
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12 Apr 2024, 2:16 pm

I didn't feel obligated, but I wanted to explain in case there was any misunderstanding. I wasn't sure how to interpret those comments which suggested hypocrisy and moral judgment might be involved. I didn't even know if they were directed at me or anyone else from WP, or whether they were general opinions from the other person. It's always best to be clear and avoid ambiguity, so I gave some examples to support my rationale.


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TwilightPrincess
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12 Apr 2024, 2:17 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
^^ As far as I know, you didn’t make comments like those she was referencing.

Personally speaking, I usually don’t have a problem with a specific person, just specific comments. If someone says something that I perceive as being out-of-character for them, it doesn’t really stay with me although I might have problems with the posts themselves. I connect stuff with members more when there’s an ongoing trend.


Yes, you have mentioned "patterns of behaviour" before in a different thread, so I don't doubt that.

I’m pretty sure we all recognize patterns of behavior, especially if we think back on banned members or trolls.



TwilightPrincess
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12 Apr 2024, 2:20 pm

babybird wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
babybird wrote:
Did you feel obligated to justify yourself TP

I don’t want to dredge up a disagreement but certain comments were a bit insensitive under the circumstances in my opinion which probably made me feel obligated to justify myself.


Ok. Sorry if I had anything to do with this

I appreciate that, but I’m cool with you. It’s a touchy subject for a lot of us I think.