I think if a guy is into a girl they should make the effort

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BMH
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17 May 2011, 1:03 am

zen_mistress wrote:

Gender: Female
Yeah.

zen_mistress
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17 May 2011, 1:06 am

BMH wrote:

Gender: Female
Yeah.

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CrinklyCrustacean
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17 May 2011, 1:06 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

You will probably spend all your time paranoid that he only likes you because you are thin, even if from his point of view that isn't true.

Er, what? I wasn't talking about whether people do or do not judge you based on weight, but on Erisad's attitude of "If I'm thin, then I'll get dates", which is potentially quite destructive when she does find a guy who likes her for reasons which have nothing to do with her weight.

Liking someone for reasons other than their weight is not synonymous with attraction to people regardless of their weight.

In other words, a man whose primary attraction to a woman is due to her values and intellect is not necessarily one who like her the same amount if she was, say, 75 lbs heavier.

Oh. What I meant was that the reasons he loves her are not weight-related in any way, so it wouldn't matter if she gained or lost a signficant amount, he'd love her just the same. Maybe it was a bad choice of words on my part.

ValentineWiggin
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17 May 2011, 2:43 am

BMH wrote:

fat=ugly, its as simple as that.
ugly=no erection, again, really simple
no erection=still can be friends, so don't throw these buzzwords ("shallow" and "superficial", lol)

Zen_Mistress wrote:

EPIC FAIL.

BMH wrote:

Gender: Female
Yeah.

This person is an epic win, actually.

"X characteristic is just plain ugly, and since ugly women aren't f*ckable, they'll never get a piece of THIS! You can still be friends with my fine self, ladies, so don't call me names."
"You're a dumb@ss."
"You're a woman, so you must be just depressed you'll never get wit my fine @ss, fattie."

There's no way this person is serious.

hyperlexian
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17 May 2011, 7:01 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:

There's no way this person is serious.

really? i completely fail at being able to tell.

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ValentineWiggin
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17 May 2011, 9:00 am

hyperlexian wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

There's no way this person is serious.

really? i completely fail at being able to tell.

I'm pretty bad at it too- I've assumed several people in L&D were being sarcastic/satiric,
when in reality they just really were that misogynist or dense about their opinions being their own and not universal.

cdfox7
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17 May 2011, 9:07 am

hyperlexian wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

There's no way this person is serious.

really? i completely fail at being able to tell.

There is no failure only feedback, oh btw excellent reframing of BMH's opinions :wink:

Cafeaulait
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08 Aug 2017, 8:49 am

I think both parties should make an equal effort.

Sabreclaw
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08 Aug 2017, 9:37 am

Cafeaulait wrote:

I think both parties should make an equal effort.

Closet Genious
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08 Aug 2017, 11:11 am

Erisad wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

You will probably spend all your time paranoid that he only likes you because you are thin, even if from his point of view that isn't true.

Yup. I'm dealing with that thought for the first time in my life- I'm faced with the "dating" thing which I've never done at all, being an almost non-stop serial monogamist, and the fact that the most stable wonderful relationship of my life was with a guy who grew up "admiring" the women in Lane Bryant catalogues vs. Playboy: it kind of "spoiled" me.

Frankly, all the double-speak that abounds in these threads only exacerbates the problem in an underhanded way.
"You don't LOOK that fat." -----> "If you ARE, in fact, that fat, it ain't happenin'."
"You're not THAT overweight." -----> "You're only a little, er, kinda undesirable."
"You have such a pretty face." -----> "Maybe it will offset the rest of you."
"Not everyone cares about looks." -----> "Just NEARLY everyone."

Until someone can reassure women of all sizes that they aren't being very strongly judged as people, daughters, mates, and sex partners by how much space they take up, there will exist a feminine culture of unshakable insecurity.

I hate all that double speak. It's confusing. I feel like I was forced into a beauty contest just for being born female. It isn't fair. It's not even split up by weight, it's all relative to the area you're in. I don't like being constantly judged for my looks so I guess I just want to get down to a point where I'm happy about it so I can honestly dismiss any naysayers.

You know what Erisad, you said you have asked guys out and have them laugh at you. I don't condone this kind of behaviour, but I wonder if the guys you asked out were overweight like yourself?

Because if not, and this goes for all women here complaining about men being shallow, I seriously have zero sympathy for you. If you walk around as an overweight individual, and yet only ask normal weight men out, you yourself are just as shallow as you claim the men to be.

The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Aug 2017, 2:11 pm

Rise my undead minions, rise!

Closet Genious
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08 Aug 2017, 3:00 pm

Wow, I didn't notice how old this thread was...

AngelRho
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08 Aug 2017, 9:46 pm

Closet Genious wrote:

Wow, I didn't notice how old this thread was...

Hahahahahaha!! ! LMMFAO

It's all good. I kinda like seeing some of those old threads, to be honest. The users that posted back then were a weird sort of 2nd wave of WP'ers, and they have long since passed into WP oblivion.

I liked Erisad. She didn't long complain about her plight, though. I recall she eventually did find something resembling love and happiness--if nothing else, she discovered she really enjoyed sex. I think of her as evidence that [censored for imagined sexism] really do have it easier than [censored for imagined sexism].

I didn't agree much with ValentineWiggin, but she could keep things interesting. I'd love to know who all are still around under different usernames if they are at all.

hale_bopp
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06 Oct 2017, 9:11 pm

If someone is interested, you hear from them. You can always make time if you want to. Let them go and find someone else.

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