CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
You will probably spend all your time paranoid that he only likes you because you are thin, even if from his point of view that isn't true.
Yup. I'm dealing with that thought for the first time in my life- I'm faced with the "dating" thing which I've never done at all, being an almost non-stop serial monogamist, and the fact that the most stable wonderful relationship of my life was with a guy who grew up "admiring" the women in Lane Bryant catalogues vs. Playboy: it kind of "spoiled" me.
Frankly, all the double-speak that abounds in these threads only exacerbates the problem in an underhanded way.
"You don't LOOK that fat." -----> "If you ARE, in fact, that fat, it ain't happenin'."
"You're not THAT overweight." -----> "You're only a little, er, kinda undesirable."
"You have such a pretty face." -----> "Maybe it will offset the rest of you."
"Not everyone cares about looks." -----> "Just NEARLY everyone."
Until someone can reassure women of all sizes that they aren't being
very strongly judged as people, daughters, mates, and sex partners by how much space they take up, there will exist a feminine culture of unshakable insecurity.
I hate all that double speak. It's confusing. I feel like I was forced into a beauty contest just for being born female. It isn't fair. It's not even split up by weight, it's all relative to the area you're in. I don't like being constantly judged for my looks so I guess I just want to get down to a point where I'm happy about it so I can honestly dismiss any naysayers.