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My fifth time starting an account. Each time ends the same, and I delete it vowing never again. But back I go.

Messaged 18 girls so far. 1 replied to my initial message, but never to my followup.

Can't stand being alone. Going nuts. I gotta find somebody before it's too late.

I'll sell my soul for just a three month relationship that ends in heartache. Just so I know I can have a relationship.

If you're going to do what you've always done, you're always going to get what you have always got.

So look at it from that perspective, you need to change something about your personality or about how you are interacting with others, socializing is a case of trial and error. Again, there is a greater male to female ration on dating websites so don't beat yourself up about it, you would be better off trying to meet people in real life as opposed to dating websites.

Yes, this, and even if the stats show otherwise, i am sure it's the case of male-really-seeking to female-really-seeking ratio, I think a lot of females on okc are there just for the quizzes, at least that what i personally noticed.

I agree most females seem to be there for something totally unrelated to dating.

I think that's a very bad reason to try to start a relationship. It may have a lot to do with why you're not more successful with girls. They may be sensing that you don't really care about them as individuals.

But I know that's just how I was before I managed to get my first partner, and in those days nobody would have been able to change my attitude. It's like a huge void inside. I always feel that my problems will be over if I could just have one partner to myself, then when I get one, I find that my problems are only just beginning.

Even these days, I struggle with feelings of desperation..........I've managed to find about 10 partners over the years, and often I ended the relationships myself when they wanted to continue with me, and I have plenty of evidence that finding them isn't the problem.....the problem is knowing how to filter out the incompatible ones. Everything is always hunky dory for the first few weeks when I'm still getting used to the wonderful idea that I at last have a partner again....after that, I get used to it and then I wake up to the fact that I can get hurt and might lose her.

I think it's a matter of trying to fight the feelings of desperation......I might not be able to stop myself from feeling desperate, but I can have some control over acting desperate. So next time I find an interested lady on my radar, I hope I'll be able to keep my head and look at her with a realistic, critical eye, and if the right boxes can't be checked, I hope to God I'll be strong enough to pass her by and save myself for somebody more compatible. It's very difficult because they tend to be on their best behaviour at first.

Anyway, I doubt that you'll be swayed by any of this. The sexual imperative is very crafty at duping us. And if love isn't blind, desperation surely is. When it's a fight between the heart and the head, the heart usually wins.

Not long back, I fell headlong into an unsuitable relationship.......going down the road to meet her, all I was intending to do was to have a mature talk with her about my misgivings.......but when I met her, I forgot all about that the moment she invited me back to her place. Next morning, I woke up with a relationship, and that relationship turned out to be very painful, and it died within 3 months. The experience still haunts me....I wish I'd never met her.

If I am strong enough, I hope to start in small ways this time round......I want to make a few "ordinary" friends, mainly same-sex, and see if I can get those friendships to be meaningful, mutual and lasting. I hope I'll be able to get some of my social needs requieted in that way, so that I'm more confident and less likely to burden my next partner with all of my social needs. I hope to become better at keeping friendships on an even keel so that relationship problems might stay in perspective. I want to learn how to become more assertive rather than being either suspiciously compliant or seething with rage. I want to learn how to communicate better, to share things better, to resolve problems better. But I don't know if I'm up to the job. All I can do is try and hope.

Speaking from experience (apart from the selling my soul part) believe me when I say that's not healthy.

Next time you leave, pay someone to blow the site up.

The other thing is, you must be undervaluing yourself if you think your soul is worth no more than a harmful relationship. I'm sure your self-esteem would start looking a lot better if you got yourself a partner, but it would only look better, it wouldn't be better. That poor self-esteem would probably eventually show up in the relationship as negative behaviour, and then if she dumped you, your ego would be more damaged than it was before you had ever had a partner. Try to look to other ways of self-affirmation. That way, when you do get a partner, she won't be your only source of self-confidence, and you won't be so much at the mercy of somebody who probably won't be a saint, so you might be able to keep your head when she disappoints you, and do the best thing.