not sure how I should tell my girlfriend I have asperger's

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I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for just under 4 months now.

We have a lot of fun together and, as with any relationship, we have our ups and downs.
We recently got to the stage where we can comfortably say that we love each other.

I've never been in a relationship that's felt as good or serious as this before so sometimes I find myself getting scared. Occasionally I might say something without thinking, or misinterpret something that she says. Some of that can be chalked up to German being her first language, but sometimes I realise after I've said something stupid and pissed her off that she meant something in a different way.

Right now she's pissed at me and will hardly talk to me save for one word responses because yesterday I did the same thing. She was trying to hint that she wanted me to help with her hobby, but that flew over my head and I essentially just said "there's no time", coming off like an insensitive jerk. Now I don't know what to say or do, because I ruined a perfectly good day out by seeming like an insensitive asshat, and she wont pick up the phone to talk about it. I know she had a rough week this week after she had an argument with some of her friends, so now I'm just piling on to her sadness and stress.

I feel like if she knew and understood that she might know that I wasn't trying to be that way, but at the same time I worry that if I do tell her then she'll look at me differently, tell other people, or see it as me just trying to make excuses for myself after I said something bad.

I never told anybody before about my asperger's, save for my tutors at college and university. I see it as a great source of shame and I don't want people judging me, or looking down on me with sympathetic eyes because I have this label. That said, I've never been in a serious relationship like this one before and I don't want there to be any secrets, but im not sure how to say it seeing as it's nearly been 4 months already...

Any advice here?

Do not.

Should you tell her what you're like as a person, that's more truthful.

Do not mention Asperger's or Autism in any way.

I don't see any reason to tell her that you are diagnosed with autism or aspergers here. This is a scenario where bringing up what upset her will likely annoy her more and push her away. When you two do talk again, you will need to clear up any misunderstanding between the two of you learn to communicate better. Leave the diagnosis out of it.

Let me put it this way: If you tell her you're an Aspergian, what does that mean to her exactly? And if she doesn't know all the facts, how much will she really learn if she sees all the vile stigmas and gets quite a large amount of dehumanizing propaganda off, the Autism Speaks website for example? The internet is simply flooded with it.

You do need to clear up the misunderstanding, you need to make it clear that you didn't know what she really meant, that you sometimes aren't going to know what she "really means", that it wasn't being mean to her, it was just not knowing. You need a better way, than communicating with hints.

The previous guy makes a good point. Adding to it, if she doesn't want to compromise and adjust any expectations she has for you either, the relationship may not be a happy one for either of you.