How to make name callers feel embarassed over their idiocy?

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Hi, some people make stupid childly remarks about my name but I don't know how to respond to it while I think it is plain ret*d and maybe for someone from 9 but not 19 (yea that mothafucka is that old). Sometimes I feel like crushing his neck or blinding him with a laser or my fingers. but I go to jail for that. I need to find a verbal attack for that ret*d I know he is manipulative and has a few dumbfucks laughing about his jokes around him, always.

Either ignore them or make it some kind of pun. Although I find puns/jokes go over better with friends.

Yeah, not enough information for us to help you out buddy. The only sensible advice from what you have written is to ignore them, but that's not always as easy to do as it is to say. So what names do they use? I'm somewhat of an expert when it comes to making people feel embarrassed about things they say. Leave out nothing.

They are not friends so I don't have anything to lose. I tried ignoring but that's not going to help. I also don't want to ignore derogatory stuff said to me.

I.e. they abuse my turkish background by calling my name in an arabic matter and singing something with goats in the mountains and farms >.< or change a few letters of my name, mostly they play with the first part of my name which in dutch means farmland.... in many countries a surname but with me it is my front name

Could you explain how you became an expert on making people embarrassed about things they say? and what do you mean by leave out nothing?

Isn't it the dutch who have incredibly silly surnames?

When I said "Leave out nothing" I meant the more details I have, the more likely I can come up with a witty response. As for becoming a professional at humiliating and debasing ignorant people...well, first of all, I'm not quite sure it's a good trait to have. Second of all, you have to have a clear understanding of why people act that way. Third of all, you need a quick wit and a good vocabulary, and it also helps to not care so much about the outcome, because they suck.

It's not that hard for me to make an idiot look like an idiot. My work is already cut out for me; the only thing I have to do is to let the idiot talk, and then use their own words against them, and get them to backtrack, and do this until they get mad and give up. The biggest idiots never give up, and this is hilarious when they lose their cool over something as insignificant as "So why do horses need to go to the glue factory again? I think you lost me about 5 minutes ago with your comment about Lindsay Lohan" and then just smirk at them until their head explodes.

Again, I'm not so sure this is a good thing to be, especially if you want to be accepted. But it works for me. My attitude has gotten increasingly rotten over the last few years. However, my confidence has skyrocketed. Interesting how that works, isn't it? The less you give a s**t, the less s**t you have to deal with.

If you were more specific someone may be able to help you come up w/ a way to make fun of yourself. (More about your name, the goats thing and possibly the age of the people involved/where you know them, other details etc.) If you can make fun of yourself or them, their may be a way to make them look like ***'s.

Ex.
Guy Friend: comments about my chest/butt
Me: Well, maybe you don't have an ass b/c you are one
I WIN!

Why would you want to lower yourself to that same behavior? I understand the instinct to fight back but you've already realized that lashing out physically is wrong so, can you take the extra step to see how unproductive lashing out verbally would be? He's not worth it. You need to concentrate on being a good person and if you turn into him, you're not going to stand yourself. You want him to stop and that's perfectly reasonable. You will have to consider other options to achieve this. Is there any authority that can receive a report for harassment?

If not, you will have to seek the help of friends to create peer pressure. Once the majority of both of your peer groups no longer find his insults amusing, he will have to stop or risk becoming unpopular and labeled as a racist bully. You seek the help of peers by employing their sensibility and compassion, their intelligence and basic understanding. You won't need to insult the bully because others will be able to connect the dots when they see how pointlessly infantile he is behaving.

Some do indeed but how to use this accordingly against them when they try to make a fool of me because of my name is a mystery for me.

A good way to help me is analyzing a situation so I can use a more widely usable way of responding than just that example, if you could look at the situation I describe here and give advice on that (not only the reply but also how and why you would come up with that reply, just like with calculations with math :p) that'd be great!

This one doesn't have to do with my name but with something else:

I was in the group of low social class people and I'm not considered important in that group as well. A girl was telling that her brother dated a model on an exchange program. didn't know her brother was 13 but as she was so elaborate I asked which 'base' he did achieve (for the ones who don't know what that means, base 1 is touching, 2 kissing 3 petting, 4 sex)
the girl and one nerdy boy who thinks he is funny but doesn't have a sense of humor at all were astonished by my reply. so then the boy, which was considered the biggest nerd of my year for a long time said wtf you haven't achieved base 0.5 yet)
while the nerd had a girlfriend for 2 weeks and little success at all while I achieved 3 already :p

but I couldn't come up with a proper reply eventhough:

- His only experience was with a younger girl he dated and she dumped him within weeks
- base 1.5 and 0.5 are ret*d terms to use
- he was the one who didn't achieve that
- I am more handsome than him and achieved more with great looking girls

I know what I could use against him but not how I can use these facts

one reason is the processing delay typical for aspergers, the stress level rising to peak levels after such remark so I can't properly think (how can I prevent this?) and the long time I need to smoothly pack facts into a point.

I think now I would have said something. 'yeah right keep on dreaming because in fact I reached base 3 with girls you can only dream of.'


I'm not lowering myself. I never insult people, I just need comeback skillz


That's what I'm missing. I think they know I'm an easy target because they can attack me freely because I never have good comebacks. they want an ego boost by having others heard how cool they are by dissing me. they want to display their insecurities on me. what can I do with this information?


Personally I only want to be accepted by people I like. I want to be able to trash people badly if they try to do so to me.

Just dryly say something like "Ha, Ha. Art, fart- Jerry, fairy" or some other name puns, I cant think of any good ones because I am not mean.
Then drop it. Change the subject or walk away. Try not to look upset, or embarrassed. If they don't get a satisfactory reaction they will stop.

If this does not work you could go in the other direction and get really upset and cry or something in front of everyone and it would make everyone uncomfortable and he would look like a real jerk.

I would caution against a counter attack if you are not a quick thinking, smooth talker. For me this would certainly backfire and I would end up looking sillier than ever.

Plus if you fire back, it is obvious that it is really getting to you. Don't take the bait!

On the internet we have the saying "Don't feed the trolls". Well that applies in the real world too. Trolls want to be fed, they feed off of negative energy. Sure you may be able to "win" with a comeback, but that depeends on a lot of factors and you can't bet on it. Comebacks are best for people you actually know.

OK this is my third post in a row, but I thought of a good idea;
Think of an even better joke about your name and say it the next time, think of a few if you can, and list them off. This would let everyone think that you are not letting it get to you and make him look incredibly unoriginal. Making a little fun of yourself is good sometimes.

I was thinking about the Eminem movie where the other guy was going to get in front of everyone and say all that bad stuff about him. He said every bad thing first and the other guy didn't have much to say then, and he looked dumb. Kindof a strange comparison...

I sometimes tell people my surname means something like "high dweller", officially making me a full-fledged "hillbilly" ... and that usually shuts them up. Or if someone calls me "crazy", I say, "Yes, and I have papers to prove it!"